A Letter to My Sister Who’s Getting Married in the Middle of a Pandemic

I can’t believe my baby sis is ready to leave the nest.

Dear Buttercup, I was eight years old when mom and dad brought you home. I was dying to get a sibling, specifically a younger brother, to tie a Rakhi to on Raksha Bandhan.

All my girlfriends had brothers with whom they could celebrate Raksha Bandhan. I always felt like the odd one out.

I prayed and prayed for a brother, and when mom was expecting, I posted photos of little baby boys all over our house.

Our parents never revealed the gender of the baby to me. So, I was blissfully ignorant of you being a girl until you were born.

We had just moved into a new home to accommodate the expected fresh addition to our little family. So, our landline phone wasn’t working (cellphones weren’t common back then), and I was at school when mom was rushed to the hospital.

When I came home, grandma told me that mom and dad had gone to the hospital. I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of a baby brother. How innocent and complete our faith is when we’re kids.

Little did I know I was going to get a baby sister. When I found out the truth, I was devastated. I cried my eyes out and refused to come to meet you.

A day later, I reluctantly went to the hospital to see mom and you. As soon as I saw you, the first thing I noticed was how tiny and cute your fingers and toes were.

They melted my heart like butter, and you know I’m not one to be too sappy. I fell in love with you at that moment and forgot all about wanting a brother.

From fighting over silly things, hiding each other’s belongings, to coming up with objectionable pet names for everyone in our family, we were an indispensable part of each other’s lives. From being arch-rivals, we eventually became best friends in our teenage years.

We shopped till we felt like we’d drop dead; we went to the movies together, hung out at our favorite haunts, and gobbled on chaat in Main Street.

I’ve shared all the ups and downs of my life with you just as you did yours. We’ve been each other’s shoulder to cry on.

Not one day have I regretted getting a sister instead of a brother. This is the one wish in my entire life that I’m glad God didn’t grant.

I can hardly believe you will get married soon. Holy Shit!

I’m proud of the woman you have become through all your trials and tribulations. You are smart, funny, hard-working, beautiful, and my go-to advisor on makeup and fashion.

But I’ve worried that I am in the US and your wedding is in India. What if the pandemic gets worse? What if there is a second lockdown either in India or the US? What if they cancel all international flights?

There are so many ifs and buts; they all boil down to this.

What if I can’t make it to the wedding?

I know you’ve assured me you’d understand. That my life and health are more important, and I shouldn’t throw caution to the winds. When did you become so wise?

But I know not being able to come to your wedding will break my heart as well as yours, and God knows mom and dad will never get over it.

Even thinking of it gives me nightmares. Over the past few days, I’ve woken up with bad dreams about it. I wish I could just fly right now and not wait till February at all.

But alas, we all have to accept reality. All I can do is pray every single day that Mark and I can make it safely and that everything goes as planned. They say there’s power in prayer. I hope they’re right.

And last but not least, forgive me for some things I’m going to do inevitably. You should know I’m going to cry oodles of tears and ruin some photos. If I make it to the wedding, I might also hug you and refuse to let go of you when it’s time for you to say goodbye. Someone might have to pry you away from my arms.

I will not be able to let my baby go easily. But you stay strong and remind me that no matter how far apart from each other we are, we’ll always remain each other’s first love. We’ll always be best friends.

Love and blessings, Your sister, who loves you hopelessly.

This decision-making cheat sheet changed my life.

Manasi is an IT Project Manager and a freelance writer who likes to laugh, inspire, and help.