A Letter To My Drinking Self

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Hello Helen,

The quandry you’re in at the moment has a very simple solution, even though you can’t see it right now.

You think Merlot is your great friend, your ally to get you through hard times, your treat on a Friday night, your social lubricant, helping you relax and have a great time at social events.

Even though you are well aware it’s now taking more than its giving, you still believe that the gains are worth it. You’re concerned there will be huge voids left in your life once alcohol is gone.

You just have to trust me when I tell you that your life will get a whole lot better

The truth about alcohol

The addictive nature of alcohol has affected your brain to make you believe it is an important and necessary component of your life. It really isn’t, and you will find this out after about 8 months of abstention.

You will come to see alcohol as a parasite that had taken you over, ruining your life while simultaneously convincing you it is enhancing it.

You have to trust me when I tell you that all the voids you think the absence of alcohol will leave in your life will soon be filled with much more exciting, fulfilling, and diverse alternatives.

But there is simply no way of experiencing this until you completely abstain.

Addiction

You know the way you cannot stop after 2 glasses? You blame yourself for this and berate yourself every morning you wake up with a hangover for drinking too much yet again.

But honestly, it’s not you… it’s the alcohol.

The addictive nature creates a feedback loop once you start drinking to keep you wanting more till you are completely sozzled.

Just cut out the first step and the rest won’t happen. It’s that simple.

Money

It’s costing you a lot financially but currently, it comes under your ’turn a blind eye’ costs. You genuinely believe it’s worth it for the (non-existent) gains it’s bringing.

That’s a trick the alcohol is playing on you.

Health

You’re concerned that the sheer amount you have drunk must be affecting your health even though there aren’t many apparent symptoms at the moment apart from horror hangovers and hangxiety (which you will come to learn is a form of alcohol-induced mental illness).

Well, a year after abstaining, you’re going to feel a whole lot better.

Looks

You know the way you feel your face is a bit bloated at the moment, the skin doesn’t quite fit correctly, and your eyes are definitely not as bright as they used to be…. that’s alcohol causing that.

The first thing you’ll notice is the life returning in your eyes after a few weeks.

Weight

You know your frustration that although you are beasting yourself in the gym several times a week but cannot get down a decent weight? A whole stone will drop off within about 8 months without you even having to diet!

Getting your sparkle back

Currently, you’re blaming your age for losing your bottle, for getting nervous over things you never used to, and feel you have lost your mojo.

Wait for it…. that’s the alcohol as well!

Your gonna love this one, Helen. Within about a month of sobriety, you’re going to get your nerve back. The knot in your stomach when you are about to do something will completely disappear.

I know, that’s a mad one isn’t it, You never knew that was the alcohol did you.

You’re going to get your sparkle back.

So to summarise, within one year of being sober, your life won’t be perfect, the usual nuisance problems will still crop up but:

You will feel so much stronger and better, they will be far easier to cope with.

The voids you believe that alcohol will leave in your life will be filled with loads of new friends and adventures.

You’ll get a lot more creative with all that spare time you’re going to have, and wait till you see what your garden looks like!!

Any financial problems will be a lot less severe as your not spending a ton on booze, taxis, and hangover takeaways, which means you can treat yourself a whole lot more if you want to.

Your skin and eyes are going to become much clearer and brighter. You’re about to get a lot of compliments on your appearance.

You will get down to a weight you are pretty comfortable with. (Forget about skinny, it’s not going to happen).

If I had known all of this when I was struggling with drinking, I would have given up a whole lot sooner. This is why I keep writing about how great sobriety is, to encourage anyone who is currently in the situation I was once in.

If you are reading this and are at all concerned about your alcohol consumption, can you please trust me that while the first 6 months of sobriety are ropey and a bit of a struggle, your life will ultimately transform if you just stick with it.

Here are a few blogs from my publication Life after Booze.