A Land of No Coffee
Is coffee the currency of the future? A fictional journey. May Mania Prompt #1 courtesy of Keeley Schroder Write a funny how-to guide on surviving without coffee, tea or alcohol.
What…wait.
I open the door of the cabinet. I reach for the bag of coffee beans. My hand touches nothing but the cabinet shelf — nothing. WTF!? Are we out of coffee? How is this even conceivable? Whose turn was it to pick it up? Am I the guilty one?
In a vapid dystopian future, coffee has become a hoarded commodity available to only the ultra-wealthy. It is hidden away from society in heavily guarded storehouses and only the UW’s (Ultra Wealthy’s) have access through a secret network named the SCS (Secret Coffee Service).
Without coffee to stimulate it, society has become a mass of sleepy, coffee-less, almost mindless automatons, subjugated to the UW’s through caffeine depravation.
Confined to doing the meaningless tasks dictated by the UW’s, society’s whole existence centers around making the lives of the UW’s as comfortable and worry free as possible. And the UW’s are extremely comfortable and worry free. They have all the coffee they want any time they want.
Elon Musk’s great, great, great grandson, Ni, has become Emperor of the Caffeinated World. This comprises the approximate 19 million that make up the top 1% of wealth. The rest of the 8 billion people live in service to them as mere subordinates. They are no longer considered human by the 1%. They are merely known as CF’s (Caffeine Free’s).
This state of servitude and caffeine deprived stupor goes on for years and the UW’s become like gods in their coffee infused lifestyle built on the backs of the CF’s.
Then one day, a young boy standing by the side of the road sees something fall from a passing vehicle. It’s the SCS on the way to one of the UW’s with a coffee delivery. The young boy makes sure no one sees him as he stashes the bag of beans under his shirt. He knows he has stumbled upon the magic beans of life he has only heard about but never seen.
The young boy secretly boils some water, grinds the beans like he has seen on old Tik-Tok videos he has saved and makes a single cup of coffee. As he sips the coffee, his eyes are opened to the fate of society. He suddenly realizes his life’s work will be infiltrating the SCS and bringing the power of coffee back to a sleepy, enslaved society in need of salvation. I am that young boy.
I suddenly snap awake. My head is on the kitchen table and I’m drooling all over a placemat. My first thought — I need to go pick up some coffee. The fate of the world may depend on it.
May Mania courtesy of Keeley Schroder:
Autistic Widower (“AJ”), Pamela Oglesby, The Sturg, Bernie Pullen, Rhonda Carter, Harry Hogg, Paula Shablo, Jerry Dwyer, NancyO, Bruce Coulter, Adrienne Beaumont, Pluto Wolnosci, Marlana, MSW, Keeley Schroder, Dennett, Normal Earthling, Brett Jenae Tomlin, Katie Michaelson, Pat Romito LaPointe, Michael Rhodes, Karen Schwartz, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Ray Day, Ruby Noir, Susie Winfield, Lu Skerdoo
