A Father’s Love and An Awesome Daughter, Bonding Through Sailing
A brief statement of the bonding relationship between a dad and daughter
Overtly and also unintentionally, our parents teach us how to approach our lives and relationships — Jennifer Kromberg
It is all too common reading about poor relationships between parent and child. I am here to say my daughter and I have a terrific relationship. We’ve always been very close.
It was my father who taught me to value myself. — Dawn French
Raising a child is like growing a garden
Building a close relationship between parent and child is like tending a successful garden. Careful preparation is required. Soil must be prepped. Seeds must be carefully planted just right. The enclosure must be weeded regularly, so the sacred plant grows unhindered.
When fathers are present, and loving, their daughters develop a strong sense of self and are more confident in their abilities. — Kathleen Odenthal
Daddy, Daddy. Go zoo.
When my daughter was two, she’d wake me up Saturday mornings with, “Daddy, Daddy, go zoo.” Later, in her tweens, we explored state parks within driving distance of home, beating the summer heat in Texas rivers and lakes.
Multicolored sailboats
In August of 2007, I took my daughter and her friend to Inks Lake State Park in South Central Texas. August in that part of Texas tends to get a bit warm, and chillin’ out in the lake is the way to spend the afternoon.
As I was floating, I gazed across the lake. A mile or so away, a fleet of brightly colored sailboats was visible. I thought to myself, “Sailing would be a wonderful thing to learn.” It was that day that Stacy’s and my sailing adventure began.
Gulf Coast 14 — Our first sailboat
Spring of 2008 brought us the means to bond in our most extensive experience — sailing. I bought a 14-foot sailboat. It was just big enough for the two of us. In reality, it was big enough for her. We both could be on it if I were careful not to capsize it.
She and I learned to sail on this boat at Canyon Lake, TX. During the summer, we took it out on Fridays, my day off. Comal Park is where we launched the boat. I had not yet learned to back a trailer. I’d pull up at the top of the ramp, disconnect the trailer, and walk it down to the water. Trailer and boat, together, weighed less than 400 pounds.
As we were using the self-discovery method of learning to sail, we limited our lake exploration to the cove next to the park, about 500 yards by 200 yards. That was the size of our part of the lake.
Starwind 19 — A bigger boat, our skills improve, and the lake gets larger.
My daughter’s and my skills continued to improve. We bought a bigger boat, a 1983 Starwind 19, and kept it in the Canyon Lake Marina. This boat allowed us to do several things we couldn’t do on the 14-foot boat. We could sail in the winter, sail with friends, and sail out on the main body of the lake.
This boat was our “condo,” more like a tent, on the water. A little electric space heater kept us warm on cold nights, and an open companionway hatch (opening to the cabin) provided ventilation on warm evenings.
We learned a lot about sailing on the Starwind. We also learned a lot about ourselves and what our comfort levels were. We learned how to handle strong wind and no wind. I suspect it was on those “confidence-building” sails we discovered we could count on each other in terrifying situations.
Flying Scot 19 — She races and I teach, together we grow
We sailed our Flying Scot for eight years, the longest we’ve owned a boat. Stacy honed her racing skills in this and later boats. For many years, I taught beginning sailing on the Scot. The Flying Scot was exceptionally comfortable because of the super large cockpit. Three or four adults could comfortably sit in the boat.
She gets her Sunfish sailboat
I have to admit it scared me the first time she sailed her boat out to the end of the lake by herself. That achievement was a confidence-builder for her and a worrisome event for me. The little white sail of her Sunfish was hard to spot across the lake. I fixed the problem of losing sight of her by buying a new neon yellow and blue sail for her boat.
Her Sunfish is the sailboat on which my daughter grew into a young woman, the one on which she developed self-confidence.
Though my daughter is grown and lives two hours east of home, she and I still share a close bond. She and I text each other several times a week. Every couple of weeks, she comes home. We go sailing as often as the weather permits.
Hunter 23 wing keel — Our lakefront property
The Hunter 23 is our sail-together and sail-separately boat. We just bought it recently and have sailed it with friends once.
Hobie Holder / Vagabond 17
The picture at the top of the page is our most recent boat. I say it’s our boat, but it is her boat. It fits her. Can you tell she’s excited?
Through the years, we’ve had sailboats of various sizes — some as short as 8 feet, and as long as 26 feet. Sailing is an excellent activity for building family time. We have cherished the time we’ve spent sailing together and look forward to many more years.
Strengthening bonds and developing children’s self-image
If you think about it, sailing is a unique way for kids to build self-confidence and a strong sense of self.
Any kid can be a world-class mall shopper. My daughter found it impressed her non-sailing friends to take them out on her Sunfish for an afternoon of sailing and get them back to their starting point safely. She now looks forward to taking more friends out sailing.
P.S. Stacy is a great sailing instructor.
Citations
Firestone, Lisa, Ph.D., (2010), How Your Relationship Impacts Your Kids, Psychology Today
French, Dawn, “Dawn French Quotes,” Retrieved from https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/dawn_french_263666
Kromberg, Jennifer, PsyD, (Jul 01, 2013), How Dads Shape Daughters’ Relationships, Psychology Today
Odenthal, Kathleen, (September 19, 2019), 10 Reasons Fathers Are so Important to Their Daughters, Retrieved from https://holidappy.com/holidays/10-Reasons-Fathers-are-so-Important-to-their-Daughters
U.S. Sailing Association — Youth Sailing Development
All Rights Reserved © 2019 Randle B. Moore
Please click this [LINK] if you have enjoyed reading this story and would like to have my stories delivered to your email inbox when I publish.
Medium is a beautiful site for innovative and exciting stories. Paying $5 for a monthly subscription or $50 for an annual subscription entitles you to read all articles. Use this [LINK] to join. Your membership fee supports writers of Medium.