A Drug Addict Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Life

Lessons for everyone

What is the meaning of life?

Ah, the age-old question.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy will tell you that the answer is “42”, but I have never bothered to read into the interpretation of that.

I am not going to pretend that I have a brilliant, philosophical answer myself. However, I like to think that if we try to put as much good into the world as we can, that can give us meaning. Purpose.

And much of what I know about putting good into the world came from my friend…before, during, and after she was fighting a heroin addiction.

For someone who had the roughest start of life I can imagine — filled with poverty and abuse — she certainly had a passion for uplifting others.

She was a mighty bloom, yet grown from nothing but a pot of dirt. Her successes were all her own — she fought hard for them.

Here is some of what she taught me:

Compassion

Hers was bottomless. She showered it not only on us — her chosen family — but also on strangers, and acquaintances she had just met. Each human being was given equal grace.

No one was off limits.

Except, perhaps, herself.

Generosity

While she didn’t have much to give, she did when she could.

One time, noticing that many of her fellow apartment residents were struggling to make ends meet, she set up a free pantry in their lobby.

Food items, toiletries, and feminine supplies were up for grabs — even though she could barely afford those things herself. Several of us offered to donate, which she gladly accepted — but all of it went to the pantry.

But that is what she was like — always worried that someone else had it worse, while she herself laid in despair.

Advocacy

When she couldn’t be generous with money, she was generous with her time.

My friend had spent much of her early life being silenced. Once she found her voice, she used it to help others — loudly. Frequently.

In fact, once an adult, I don’t think she ever stopped advocating for others, even at the expense of her own well-being.

Sometimes, I wish she had.

That’s another lesson I learned from her — that sometimes, no matter how valuable the cause, we all need to give ourselves permission to rest.

The Importance of Laughter

My friend was funny.

To keep herself well — or rather, as well as she could be — she posted online daily. I always looked forward to her quirky quotes, musings, and memes she would share, just to bring a smile to others’ faces.

One time, she was even inspired to send me a book in the mail:

“Things to Do While You Poo On the Loo.”

Along with an eyeball necklace.

I obviously still have them.

Tenacity

Unjustly, life seemed on an unrelenting quest to knock her down.

I stopped being surprised when she was able to continually get back up.

Despite being a human punching bag, she didn’t often seem to feel sorry for herself. She just kept going, the best she could.

It was a lesson for myself, particularly when in the throws of mental health struggles: if she was capable of pushing through the worst that a human being could endure, then surely I could fight through this.

I thought she was indestructible.

That, Sadly, Poverty Kills

We lost her last year.

Her low socioeconomic status absolutely played a role. It’s a topic she didn’t shy away from, and yet I feel compelled to protect her by not sharing too many details.

Perhaps that’s more about me — reflecting on that is simply too hard.

I could have helped more.

But let me be clear — we did not lose her to drug addiction.

That battle, she successfully won.

*****

Regardless of how much society thumbs their noses at people with addictions, we need to understand something: they are human beings. They are faltering, but they still hold value. We can learn as much from them as they can from us. We can still love them.

And if we can’t do that, we damn sure can at least stop judging them.