A Client Just Rejected My Work And I Have Never Been Happier
“I’m sorry, but this doesn't match what we’re looking for.”
I had just plopped down on my couch after an amateur round of darts when this nightmarish message landed in my email.
I smiled. A nice teeth-showing smile.
I hadn’t slept properly in months. I stayed up all night, overworking and pushing my burnout limits.
I explore more of that here:
Throughout my unhealthy-low-self-worth-perpetuating cycle, a voice within kept telling me to stop — to stop overworking, working with brands I wasn’t thrilled to support, writing on topics I knew nothing about and wasn’t interested ‘researching’.
I wanted to write something that was meaningful to me. To swap ‘guaranteed clickability headline formulas’ with topics that piqued my curiosity. I wanted to explore my sense of wonder.
But I couldn't because the whole damn internet wanted SEO and I was terrified of showing up as my authentic self. I have seen people on Twitter tearing down writers for expressing their views and I had no inclination to end my career before it properly started.
A lot of publication guidelines literally ask for ‘controversial opinions’ and ‘opposite takes on well-known topics’, which naturally include debunking other people’s beliefs.
And while a healthy debate is essential, it becomes abusive when writers make personal attacks on someone’s professional work. Suddenly, it’s not just the opinion that’s wrong — they and their entire thought process is trashed in front of millions of readers — all for a spike in clicks.
After months of writing corporate and research-focused branded articles, I realized just how impersonal and robotic they felt. A lot of these cover the same 5 points in an almost identical manner.
Every digital marketing agency writes about Facebook vs Google ads ROI and every freelance-coaching blog tells you to research the publication and get the editor’s name right. At times, when I’m working in a specific niche — say wellness, almost every client will ask me to cover nearly the same topic, and it’s usually whatever the ‘others’ are publishing.
While this may have strategic advantages (seems unlikely to me, but I don’t have a business degree, so who knows), it’s exhausting to keep running in circles without moving forward.
I was trapped in this hamster wheel for so long — my mind and body broke down. Things started going awry at an uncontrolled pace, almost like my mind was forcing a full stop in my face.
“You need to stop this!” it yelled.
“You are a creative writer with unique ideas. What you say is valuable. You have something insightful to contribute, but you can’t do it while writing about some software you never have and never will use in your life.
You need to step away from holding a 100-ton pretence on your shoulder. If you want to live a happy, healthy life, you need to make space for your authentic self to emerge. And it starts with removing everything that doesn't 100% resonate with who you are at your core.”
I physically trembled when I realized how right it was. I had just realized what was right for me. I felt passionate about writing again and I wanted to do something about it. But I needed to start small first. This isn't the movies where you quit your job, pack your bags and leave. This is real, and real has bills. I wanted to start slow — but start now.
I want to be a successful writer, but not at the expense of my love and passion for writing.
When I opened my email and saw that sentence: “I’m sorry, but this doesn’t match what we’re looking for”, I almost squealed with joy. It was just the sign I needed. I’m sorry, but this isn’t what I was looking for either!