A Child’s Perspective Offers A Profound Lesson With One Simple Word

A real-life awakening story of perception versus reality

“In fifteen years, you could have a child,” the conversation with my twelve-year-old son continued as we drove home.

“No, I don’t think so mom. I don’t think I’ll be married then. I don’t know if I’ll have a girlfriend then. I’m not sure I’ll be dating then.” My son shared a list of considerations.

“When do you think you might want to start dating?” I asked.

“Probably when I am twenty,” my son paused. “I don’t even know what dating is.”

“Well, it’s when you have certain feelings for someone and you want to get to know them better. You’ll want to spend more time with them and maybe do something special for them, like when mom and dad were dating.”

Surprised by the opportunity for this conversation, I considered how to best engage my son who rarely wants to discuss this subject.

“Did you know that dad used to sneak into mom’s office at work at 6 o’clock in the morning to leave me notes and gifts?” I began to share. Thought this fact would surprise him.

“Can you believe that?” I asked — a rhetorical question because my husband is rarely up before 9 o’clock.

“Yes,” he replied to my surprise.

“Yes?” I questioned. ‘This doesn’t surprise you?”

I needed clarification.

“No. It doesn’t surprise me.” My son stated — affirming his earlier response.

Recognizing my surprise, my son offered a simple, but powerful explanation:

“No, I’m not surprised because dad loves you.”

When sharing this story with my husband later in the day. He had the same reaction as I did — bewildered.

Astonished.

Confused.

Our marriage has not been easy, but we are reaping the benefits of what we have sowed as evidenced by moments like this.

We had no idea the version of ourselves that our children see and what a gift that had become.

With my son’s simple, affirming, words I am reminded:

• Children are always watching and learning from our behaviors — this can be a benefit or a detriment.
• We are our own worst critics — and others don’t necessarily put as much weight on our flaws as we do ourselves.
• Car rides are a great opportunity for good conversations, especially for a parent and child.
• Lean into conversations and listen with an open heart.

What will you do with this knowledge?

How are you an example to those around you?

Have you had a moment where someone’s perception surprises you?

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