A Ballade to My Dearly Departed Friends and Lover
Poetically mourning and appreciating those whose ashes I hold sacred and stoke their eternal flames
Please be advised this post includes topics such as suicide and drug overdoses that might upset some readers.
Infinitely deep are the pain pockets of grief — these voids cause and fill with tears at a moment's notice no matter how much time has elapsed, yet as that salty water continuously almost drowns drains, the infinite darkness of despair makes space for infinitely greater amounts of Light to enter our domains.
Fellow travellers Intertwined our soul contracts Love burns — searing pain Greg, Andrew, Jason, Lindsey Marcus shall now sing Ballade
Andrew, I close my eyes and breathe Your handsome visage enters my mind’s eye Such a tangled web you spun to deceive Soul’s energy signature oft I spy Advice and friendship did and do rely Truth revealed n’ere judged nor loved less the same ‘cross many lives my forever ally Vessel for ashes and eternal flame
Jason, difficult tapestry you weaved So many identities were your my Yet your friends with love did all them perceive Soul’s energy signature oft I spy Your death remains hardest for us to buy Closure eludes so many in your frame I remain forever dependably Vessel for ashes and eternal flame
Those who know me know where this leaves Tears flowed but not like for Lindsey's heart’s why Sitara my Sanskrit star ‘cross all lives Soul’s energy signature oft I spy Soulmates earthly and heavenly Love transcends mere human-constructed names As Otis describes so tendernessly Vessel for ashes and eternal flame
Ash carrier readers may empathize Hearts maintain loved ones not only in name Remain connected when meat suits vaporize Vessels for ashes and eternal flames
Poet’s Notes
Prompted by Debra G. Harman, MEd.’s Keepers of the Ash, A prompt for the dead of winter in the poetry pub Imogene’s Notebook.
Form: I started with a tanka haibun. Then I employed a Ballade, three eight-line stanzas with rhyme scheme ababbcbC, and a quartet, bcbC. Thank you Bob Metivier for introducing me to this melodic form in your Before the End Does Come, Memories and What Remains. C is a refrain. I used a Double Ballade, where the fourth line of each octet is also a refrain.
Soul’s energy signature oft I spy
For the import of that, you may see my Let’s Talk About Souls and Energy Signatures and Contact and Perception.
Some pure poets object to my inclusion of explanatory notes. More do not. Moreover, readers not adept or used to reading poetry appreciate the accessibility I provide with some notes.
Andrew Suicide took Leaving loved ones grieving All would have forgiven except Yourself
Andrew died by purposeful suicide in 2006 and the legitimate psychic medium (Anne Bradshaw, with whom I continue to consult) channeled-conversation I had with his soul in 2012 saved me from self-destruction in 2013. Essay here if it pleases you to explore my personal experience with suicide attempt prevention.
Jason died in 2013 because, from what I have come to understand from finally speaking to his soul last year through Anne, was an accidental OD from not wanting enough to live. Not quite suicide but the effect on his mom and sister, without closure as they still have unanswered questions, or even the answers to which they would not comprehend, is quite the same. As for both a keeper of his ashes and his flame, you may read this I posted last March on the day we would have celebrated his 56th birthday, which includes:
Sad and happy tale You send warmth into my chest From behind the veil
All thought you the best Empathy and compassion Heads above the rest
and my 2014 speech posthumously honoring him at a charity gala.
My regular readers know all about Lindsey and me, the tragic circumstances of her passing, that Sitara is her soul’s name, that my soul’s name is Marcus, and that we have incarnated into every imaginable role in each of our lifecycles and are engaged in a daily, loving, human and soul relationship. New readers desiring background can click here for a concise presentation of our story.
As Otis describes so tendernessly
The scene below is the first time I ever heard this tremendous song, and OMG Molly Ringwald and Annie Potts — so sexy!! Yes, that is the young Alan of Two and a Half Men fame:
In Rama I create, with soul energy surging through my body, inspiring me and breathing wind into my sails,