Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

just because we’re almost twins (we share the same birth date, Flag Day, June 14th), but because we’re hair clones. He’s nervous, really nervous. He’s also self-conscious, insecure, and easily flustered.Here’s why I’m sure of this. On a good hair day, I feel pretty terrific about myself. I’m basically invincible. But let a big gust of wind blow through my substantial strands and my confidence fades like a middle-aged man’s defeated hairline. It’s no accident that virtually every one of Trump’s campaign events is held indoors in a climate-controlled environment.<h2 id="1b3c">Hint to the rest of the Republican field — hide mirrors on the campaign trail, watch Trump panic, then drop out</h2>Trump might be fooling a lot of people with his bluster, bravado and shameless banana brag, but he can’t fool me. I know that his political paranoia stems from a belief that every follicle on his head is a potential saboteur.The sour look on Trump’s face during his infamous Georgia mug shot wasn’t defiance. The Fulton County Sheriff had unintentionally mussed his mane before the snap and Don was furious.<figure id="c821"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*5oL-qBlvLa5McniHIytWWw.jpeg"><figcaption>He’s just pissed because the left side of his mane was manhandled. (Photo Credit: Fulton County Sheriff’s Office via AP)</figcaption></figure>When he’s spitting insults at immigrants with that nasty look of contempt, he’s just on edge about the staying power of his hair spray.His endless attacks on women for being overweight or ugly is simply a way to deflect attention from a frontal

Options

hair shelf that’s four degrees askew.Even refusing to disavow a Proud Boy leader, and promising to pardon him, is a tactic to gauge the political pragmatism of keeping well-armed men nearby in case he needs their muscled presence to protect his billion dollar hairdo.Don’t get The Donald and me started about cowlicks either. If he returns to office, his first order of business should be stamping out those stubborn, little hair sprigs, not imprisoning Hunter Biden or Jack Smith.Off the top of my head, I’d say that there’s only one way Donald Trump will ever be elected again. It won’t require a change of demeanor or a less xenophobic worldview, just a new haircut — a low-maintenance, tapered fade that would keep his focus off his pate and on the presidency. Or perhaps a carefree crew cut that will leave him feeling more relaxed and less twitchy with his middle finger on the nuclear button.Candidate Trump doesn’t need to be more manly, he needs to be less mane-ly. If he has any hope of Making America Great Again again, it’s going to have to start at the business end of a razor.****Thanks for reading and clapping.Click <a href="https://readmedium.com/iowa-man-achieves-in-5-seconds-with-2-fingers-what-entire-nation-failed-to-deliver-in-4-years-8041e39533e4">here</a> or <a href="/@allanishac/trump-official-who-told-jan-6-cops-to-go-hang-themselves-uh-might-have-just-hung-himself-881916777130">here</a> for two of my most popular recent posts.Or find more of my writing at allanishac.com.–AI</article></body>

Truth In Satire

Why Trump’s Hair Is The Best Measure Of His Electability

If his follicles fully cooperate, he may be able to brush Biden back in 2024

He’ll need better coif control than this if he expects to handle the pressures of a presidential campaign. (Photo Credit: Reuters)

Donald Trump’s hair could be his Samson-like strength or his downfall during the 2024 presidential race.

A preoccupation with tresses is something I share with the Republican hair-apparent. I like to think that my substantial mane looks less like a lacquered squirrel pelt than his, but our concern with preventing our carefully sculpted coifs from leaping off our heads and running away is similar.

When he steps onstage to give a speech, it’s always his hair that catches my eye first. Every strand is so impeccably in place — and always in exactly the same place — that I’d swear it was a meticulously-crafted, corn silk weave. And have you noticed that the length of his locks never changes? He must get his hair trimmed several times a day to prevent any inter-day growth from violating his preferred tress tolerances.

It can take hours of fastidious maintenance to get that perfect side strand sweep. (Photo Credit: NY Post via Getty Images)

Here’s something else that I know about The Donald, not just because we’re almost twins (we share the same birth date, Flag Day, June 14th), but because we’re hair clones. He’s nervous, really nervous. He’s also self-conscious, insecure, and easily flustered.

Here’s why I’m sure of this. On a good hair day, I feel pretty terrific about myself. I’m basically invincible. But let a big gust of wind blow through my substantial strands and my confidence fades like a middle-aged man’s defeated hairline. It’s no accident that virtually every one of Trump’s campaign events is held indoors in a climate-controlled environment.

Hint to the rest of the Republican field — hide mirrors on the campaign trail, watch Trump panic, then drop out

Trump might be fooling a lot of people with his bluster, bravado and shameless banana brag, but he can’t fool me. I know that his political paranoia stems from a belief that every follicle on his head is a potential saboteur.

The sour look on Trump’s face during his infamous Georgia mug shot wasn’t defiance. The Fulton County Sheriff had unintentionally mussed his mane before the snap and Don was furious.

*He’s just pissed because the left side of his mane was manhandled. (Photo Credit: Fulton County Sheriff’s Office via AP)*

When he’s spitting insults at immigrants with that nasty look of contempt, he’s just on edge about the staying power of his hair spray.

His endless attacks on women for being overweight or ugly is simply a way to deflect attention from a frontal hair shelf that’s four degrees askew.

Even refusing to disavow a Proud Boy leader, and promising to pardon him, is a tactic to gauge the political pragmatism of keeping well-armed men nearby in case he needs their muscled presence to protect his billion dollar hairdo.

Don’t get The Donald and me started about cowlicks either. If he returns to office, his first order of business should be stamping out those stubborn, little hair sprigs, not imprisoning Hunter Biden or Jack Smith.

Off the top of my head, I’d say that there’s only one way Donald Trump will ever be elected again. It won’t require a change of demeanor or a less xenophobic worldview, just a new haircut — a low-maintenance, tapered fade that would keep his focus off his pate and on the presidency. Or perhaps a carefree crew cut that will leave him feeling more relaxed and less twitchy with his middle finger on the nuclear button.

Candidate Trump doesn’t need to be more manly, he needs to be less mane-ly. If he has any hope of Making America Great Again again, it’s going to have to start at the business end of a razor.

****

Thanks for reading and clapping.

Click here or here for two of my most popular recent posts.

Or find more of my writing at allanishac.com.

–AI