9 Ways To Cultivate Self Discipline

How To Cross The Bridge Between Goals and Accomplishments

Achieving discipline in areas of our lives is an arduous journey to embark on, much less master. We all have it in us to be disciplined, so why then, is it so many of us lack the staying power to stick at something worthwhile? I have been on a thousand journeys to lose weight, start that business idea, spend more time being productive and post an article a week on Medium, but I too fall short at the first hurdle and subsequently give up.

Understanding the key areas to aid you in cultivating discipline is vital to your journey of achieving goals. Luckily for you, I’m here to share the key areas below that will enable you to get up and keep going when you fall. You will learn how to master self-discipline and use purposeful action to cross that difficult bridge and achieve your heart's desires.

One step at a time is all it takes to get you there — Emily Dickinson

1. Identify Your Purpose in Life

We each have a purpose, something we were created for, some would say destined for. It’s our duty to carry out this purpose, as this will keep you pumped each day and get you out of bed each morning. I am not saying it will be easy to find it, but once you do, you will have a defining reason for what it is you want out of life. If you don’t know your purpose right now, don’t worry, start small and look within. This is where all the answers are held. You could start by asking yourself the following questions:

• What skills come to you naturally?
• What types of things do friends, colleagues, or family usually seek your input for?
• What’s something productive that, when immersed in it, you lose track of time?
• What gets your blood boiling? What’s a problem in the world that you’d love to fix?
• What would you do for free if you never had to worry about money?
• What skills and hobbies have been dormant within you that need a gentle kick start?

(Above questions borrowed from Inc.com on finding your passion)

Once you start building ideas and putting pen to paper, your purpose will come to you, believe me.

Never in a million years did I think I could become a writer and post actual articles, but here I am. It came to me when I least expected it. I started off reading books in my downtime and wrote small weekly book reviews which I would post on my Instagram Stories.

The feedback I got from people who found my brief reviews helpful, made me think, why not write a longer review, scratch that, why not write a full piece? So I did, using my experience and lessons from a recent breakup, I realised I had writing skills and took it further by publishing my first ever article;

To my surprise, my first article was well received and gave me the push to keep writing. The trick is, to start with whatever you have and keep going, it will come to you, eventually. Give your thoughts and ideas energy each day and your purpose will find you. Once unlocked, it will allow you to embark on an epic journey that is living a purpose-driven life.

2. Hold Yourself Accountable

You are in control of your life, that's it. Once you fully accept this, you realise you are accountable for whatever life throws your way. So own it, good or bad, as this will give you the realisation of, it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it, that matters most. Be completely dedicated to whatever it is you want to achieve regardless of your physical, emotional, and mental state. Start an effective plan of action that is broken down into mini-tasks and milestones.

Monitor this frequently and update your progress daily. I track my ideas and activities during the week by utilising Scrum. I have a scrum board in my living room where I write on sticky notes the ideas or tasks I want to achieve that week and then stick them on the relevant scrum board column:

To Do

In Progress

Done

At the end of the week, I review what I set out to achieve and what I completed. This helps me to keep on track of my activities and schedule towards my goals.

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail — Benjamin Franklin

3. Build a Routine and be Consistent

Start identifying areas where you would like to see changes. Write them down and start organising them into a daily routine. Show up every day and put in the work, build focus into your life, and be consistent as these will keep you going through the tough terrain that is life.

Your ability to keep going despite setbacks and failure moulds you into a disciplined individual. A bad day doesn’t have to become a bad week. A bad week doesn’t have to become a bad month, and a bad month doesn’t have to become a bad year.

Each day is a fresh start to keep going and making progress, so just keep going. Big results take time to achieve, but with small consistent actions, you can achieve the big results. You can find my morning routine here, to inspire you to bring forth and cultivate your routine.

Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily — Epictetus

4. Become Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Life will make you uncomfortable, do not fret, this is a perfect opportunity to charter fresh territory and come out victorious. The first step is simply showing up, that's all you have to do and the more you do it, the more you break past your comfort zone.

Yes, I know showing up to do something uncomfortable is hard, but nothing worth having ever came easy, right? To improve your life and achieve your goals, get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Making your life routinely difficult to stretch yourself beyond your perceived limitations is key for growth. For me, it’s waking up at 5 am to run five miles. For you, it could be; working that extra hour after a long day at work to start on that side project you’ve been putting off or giving a fraction of your monthly salary to charity or not going on social media for a week, fasting a couple of days in the week or incorporating a stoic mindset when life throws a curve-ball your way.

Whatever you choose to endure, understand that becoming comfortable being uncomfortable will help to build resilience and fortitude in your everyday life.

To be like the rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it — Marcus Aurelius

5. Practice Self-Control

Self-control is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts and behaviour in the face of temptations and impulses. This is one of the hardest things to command, but not impossible to master. Self-control is like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.

The art of mastering self-control is applying the Dichotomy of Control; not allowing small things or external events to disturb your peace of mind and understanding what is within your control and what is outside your control. The diagram below explains this brilliantly and has helped me reinforce my understanding of this concept.

Once you fully understand and accept the Dichotomy of Control, you will have unlocked the formula to peace of mind.

You have power over your mind, not outside events, realise this and you will find strength — Marcus Aurelius

6. Let go of Blame and Excuses

Pointing the finger and placing blame elsewhere is easy to do, it's the easy way out of a difficult situation that requires accepting fault. The real power comes from taking responsibility for your life and actions.

You must train yourself to take ownership and not blame others when things don’t go your way or when things don’t go as planned. Remove the ‘Woe is me mentally’ and ‘Why me’ as these will get you nowhere swiftly. These defeating mindsets are enemies of progress, and only mental fortitude will allow you to step up and take control of the situation and ultimately your life.

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse — Ryan Blair

7. Ignore the Naysayers aka the Haters

When someone constantly voices their negative criticisms towards you, you may feel like accepting the false narrative and even believing them, which derails you from your objectives and goals. If you look deep enough, you find that often there are hidden emotions behind negative criticisms of the naysayers.

These are normally; fear, insecurity, jealousy, envy, lack of motivation, and lack of discipline to achieve anything worthwhile in their own lives. These are the emotions the naysayers are trying to project onto you, so why would you take on their emotionally obstructive rhetoric and beliefs?

A naysayer will find any opportunity to put you down for having the tenacity to break out of the mold and be different. When you shoot for your goals and change your way of thinking, this attracts naysayers aka haters. Ignore them and silence them with success.

Do not be upset by people who put you down, these people do not deserve your respect or attention. Do not handover your peace of mind to outsiders to disrupt as they please.

Never let people who choose the path of least resistance steer you away from your chosen path of most resistance— David Goggins

8. Find Mentors and Role Models

Mentorship has been fundamental in my personal growth over the past year. The valuable gems and encouragement a mentor can give you are priceless. I have a few mentors who I regularly check in with to bounce ideas off, pick their brains, review my progress, off-load my pain points and frustrations and listen, listen to the words of wisdom and experience.

Seek people who have achieved the goal you are working towards. Actively find people who are where you want to be in life and extract from them how they successfully made this change.

How did they follow through with specific actions that got the desired outcomes? Emulate their good qualities and habits, ask the right questions to gather the information that will help you push forward.

Use their experiences and expertise to help you discipline yourself along your journey.

Every great achiever is inspired by a great mentor — Lailah Gifty Akita

9. Review your Day and Week

Put up your day and week for review, scrutinise yourself and your actions. Find your weak points, your strengths, and areas of improvement. Be brutally honest, as this will allow you to become more self-aware and centred on your truth. These are the questions I ask myself in my evening journal entry:

• What went well?
• What didn’t go so well?
• What can I improve?
• How were my self-control and self-discipline tested today?
• How am I feeling?
• What were my predominant thoughts today?
• What three things am I most grateful for today?

These questions allow me to inspect my life and create a plan for continual improvements. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make, have empathy and compassion for yourself and have gratitude for the small wins.

Always give it your best shot each day and remember, disciplined thoughts and actions will see you through to achieving whatever it is you set forth to accomplish in your life.

I will keep constant watch over myself and — most usefully — will put each day up for review. — Seneca

Summary

The above small steps executed consistently will inevitably lead to overall change, growth, and positive results. Discipline begins with a choice, a choice in making well-thought-out logical decisions.

To move you from setting goals to achieving those goals. We have a choice in the things we do and don’t do, our choices ultimately become our best friend or our worst enemy. The choice is yours, so choose wisely.

I am always happy to hear from like-minded people, so say hello on Twitter.