9 Concepts That Changed My “Why”
And I hope it will change yours too

I think It’s truly unique that the matter turns over the question of its own existence as we do. I admire psychologists and neuroscientists because they try hard to find “why” to our operating system.
With this article, I wish to share concepts, biases that I have discovered over the years and that resonate deeply with who I am. You know the ones I can’t help but scream in my mind something like: “Wow, that’s so true,” or “I could never express it, but this is what I think,” when I stumble upon for the first time.
There are 9. I tried to order them in order of preference, but that’s like choosing which children I prefer, so it’s not.
For each of them, I will describe as simply as possible what it is about. Then, I will conclude the topic by telling you why it is important to me.
1 — Flow State
In positive psychology, a flow state is a mental state in which a person is fully immersed and cheerful in the process of an activity.
Flow theory began between the 1970s-1980s, initially on artists. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described it as an “optimal experience”. The flow state is a clever mix of skill and difficulty often represented by the following 8-channels diagram:

Theories have explained 5 vital factors to achieve this state:
1. Intrinsically rewarding activity (Doing what you love),
2. Clear goals and a sense of progress (A scaffolding of goals to achieve what you want in the end),
3. Clear and immediate feedback (What you’re doing & where you’re going),
4. Match of challenge and skill (The above diagram),
5. Intense focus on the present.
My Why
Sometimes I’m doing my thing — like writing an article — and I experiment flow. My fingers loudly hit keys on my keyboard, music takes me away. Without realizing it, 30 minutes, 1hours passed. I’m out of time.
Flow state is something I look forward to when I’m testing activity. If I can reach it, I’m on track to continue.
2 — Learned Helplessness
Learned helplessness happens when you repeatedly fail, and you conclude that you are unable to improve.
Ultimately, this attribution keeps you from trying to succeed. It results in increased helplessness, continued failure, loss of self-esteem, and other social consequences.
Our brains weigh our past failures against our future attempts, and while a series of small, easy victories gives impetus to our success, a series of failures breaks our morale.

People often say: “I’m not good at that. It’s not for me.”
If you think, I’m not good at math, you won’t do the math; therefore, you won’t be good at math. You will even reject everything in that field.
My Why
I have in mind a story. By far, the best technique to tie an elephant wasn’t physically, but in his head.
First of all, attach a baby elephant by placing a rope on one of his legs attached to a sturdy wooden post. This is the first and most important step to keep the elephant within certain proximity for the rest of its life.
After maybe several attempts, the baby elephant will understand that he is incapable of breaking it. He will grow with the idea that trying to escape will be vain. The elephant learned helplessness.
Learned helplessness tied up your mind as I wrote here: “Learned Helplessness | A Tied-up Mind That Keeps You From Succeeding.”
3 — GRIT
In psychology, grit is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual’s perseverance of effort combined with the passion for a particular long-term goal or end state.
Angela Duckworth studied it and observed that:
- Individuals high in GRIT can maintain their determination and motivation,
- They are more resilient. They overcome failure and adversity more easily over the long-term.

Angela studied many groups of people, from students to children to employees, and tried to predict who would succeed in the field they were studying. She notably found that intelligence only accounts for 30% of your achievement.
Duckworth emphasized that GRIT is a better predictor of achievement than intellectual talent (IQ). GRIT assists as the overriding factor that provides the stamina required to “stay the course” amid challenges, and setbacks.
GRIT and perseverance can be developed, regardless of the talent, you were born with.
“When things get tough for most people, they find something more peaceful to work on. When things get hard for gritty individuals, they find a way to stay on schedule.” — James Clear
My Why
I’m always suspicious when we’re talking about measurement to predict success and intelligence. In “Forrest Gump’s Fundamental Lesson About Intelligence”, I write this :
“The IQ is to intelligence what the shadow of a hand is to a hand.”
GRIT is certainly not a perfect way to predict success. But I think it’s more accurate than most preconceptions out there. Plus it gives hope. Unlike IQ, GRIT can be developed. Everybody can become more gritty, can start working hard on their passion.
4 — Growth Mindset
All in all, In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, brains and talent are just the starting point.
The mantra of growth mindset is the word “yet”. Any time you feel like you’ve reached your boundary, just adding “no yet” reframe your thought process.
The idea is not to be good but better, not focus on your goals but your progress.

My 3 bits of advice to embrace it:
- Ban this self-limiting belief that some people are gifted, or naturally talented. Society seems to value them more than hard work, that’s stupid.
- Distinguish your performance and your identity, accept negative feedback. Don’t take them personally!
- Don’t simply repeat stuff you already know. Avoid getting comfortable in what you do. Instead, always dance to the limit of your performance.
My Why
Growth mindset is a way to fight learned helplessness — write about it above — and all self-limiting beliefs. As for GRIT, you need to realize that you can’t do pretty much everything. Do not wait for external approval or any kind of legitimacy.
There is no “You’re made to …”. As I wrote in “My Little Da Vinci Curse”, no need to specialize in something to be the next Mozart of it. Do what you love, and if it changes, it’s ok. Eventually, you’ll find your Ikigai. But if not, that’s ok too.
“I think that multipotential people can also find their place in this world. They too can make the most of the situation without being a Leonardo Da Vinci.”







