The Downside of Consistency

A double-edged sword that must be mastered to make the most of it.

Back Story 📖

It’s Friday, the end of a night with friends and beers. We promised ourselves to lunch together the next day as the bus was about to separate us. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Bernard. On the way back to bed, I was already looking forward to enjoying its short passage in my city. But there’s something I didn’t expect.

When my eyes open the next morning, I could feel it. You know, the painful sensation, almost like you ate a piece of incandescent coal. I had a horrible stomach ache!

Little by little, physical pain left the room in a dilemma. How I’m supposed to announce my missed friend I won’t come… I knew he will be disappointed, so I let my phone ring to the sound of messenger’s notifications. Once I felt ready to ruin the mood, I’ve said that I won’t be able to come.

I was sad not to see my friend who left town once the evening came.

When Mind Hurts More than Body 🤯

I made a promise. I committed myself to lunch with friends. I deliberately tell everyone that I’ll be there. I saw their happy and excited faces to gather the gang on a nostalgic trip as a reminder to commemorate the foundations of our friendship. But I failed.

I know what you’re thinking; It’s not your fault, you shouldn’t feel bad, there will be other moments like this don’t worry. You’re right, I shouldn’t feel like this, but I do.

As if my physical condition wasn’t sufficient to bring me down, my mind intertwined.

Consistency, a Powerful Motive 🔋

Seeking acceptance of our human congeners can be considered a huge life goal. Positive personality traits such as rationality, stability, and honesty come with consistency and with acceptance. I’ve learned with this story that we all seek it at some point.

Matching words, beliefs, and deeds are the testimony of it. My words weren’t in agreement with my deeds, and whether it is legitimate or not, I had this feeling of inconsistency. The search for balance towards ourselves often pushes us to do things we initially don’t want to. In my case, I wasn’t physically able to find it, so I felt ill (mentally).

“The drive to be (and look) consistent constitutes a potent driving force, often causing us to act in ways contrary to our own best interest.” — Robert B. Cialdini in Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Having the feeling of being inconsistent switched my brain on this loop: I betrayed my words. I have to feel bad. I have to recover a coherent approach.

Instead of acknowledging that health is out of my control and a sufficient reason not to feel ashamed, I let this condition invades me.

Where does the senseless pursuit of consistency lead?

Cognitive Dissonance ☠️

Cognitive dissonance describes a feeling of discomfort arising from having two or more differing attitudes, beliefs, values, or actions. This effect directly comes from inconsistency.

Such feeling creates a bug in our matrice. We feel bad, and we want to feel better. We want to change. Change a thought, or add a new one to rationalize. Change a behavior, or trivialize the inconsistency.

Changing is hard. That’s why, by far, the most used strategy to solve cognitive dissonance is adding a new thought in our way of thinking.

Various sects and cults eventually would arrive in a period of redemption and great happiness marked by a huge and undeniable event, usually cataclysmic. People sacrificed so much to show their beliefs in the group’s teaching. So we’re right to ask what happens when reality takes over? What happens when the end of the world does not occur despite a meticulously prepared departure for the better? When cognitive dissonance struck.

In the book “When Prophecy Fails” a group of social psychologists broke into a sect. They wanted to understand the internal mechanisms of a small UFO religion in Chicago called The Seekers that believed in an imminent apocalypse.

The night during which a flood would destroy humanity, spacemen were supposed to arrive and carry off the believers in flying saucers to a place of safety, presumably on another planet. Of course, none of this happened, and Festinger, Riecken, and Schachter — the three psychologists — were here to witness this disillusionment.

The group members had gone too far, given up too much for their beliefs to see them destroyed. Instead of changing them, saying: “I was wrong about everything on this one, I screwed up!”, They’ve created another way out. Convincing others, persuading skeptics, was the way to save their beliefs from destruction. As the number of members increases, what they fought for will become more real, more true. Their liver is thus strengthened by becoming more active militants than ever. Thank god consistency is back!

What’s the Trigger 🔫

The mechanism of consistency is triggered by commitment, all kinds of commitments. Whether it’s through speech, or writing, as soon as you set foot there, your insatiable desire to become consistent takes over.

Every piece of paper you’re asked to fill in before trying a new car. Every word charities wanting you to tell promise words over the phone because, you know, “you’re lucky to be healthy, not everyone is.” Toy manufacturers that rely on promises made to your children to keep selling after Christmas. Political activists making you sign flyers, etc.

The best example will remain Chinese during Korean War. Instead of harsh punishment to gain compliance, they used this psychological leverage to obtain valuable information from American prisoners.

Prisoners were frequently asked to make mildly pro-Communist or anti-American statements such as “The United States is not perfect” or “In a Communist country, unemployment is not a problem.” If Americans complied at this first stage, they were asked to write about what is not so good about their home country. Elaborate on the points raised. Finally, sign their paper.

This whole strategy had the effect of changing the prisoners’ self-image to match what they had done. Showing the problems from their home country and thinking about the advantages of communism was a war tool. The Chinese used commitment to provoke cognitive dissonance, and then, induce a rational thought to their advantage.

By asking them to sign each statement, they could remind them what they’ve done. It was a way to prevent them from escaping the inconsistency.

Through small, redundant commitments, American soldiers ended up more understanding toward communism. All these small and insignificant concessions have led a majority of prisoners to be more able to give information.

How to Get the Best Out of Consistency 💪

I think we are all aware of the importance of habits. Habits are to man what atoms are to matter. They are the basic bricks that make up our behaviors, eventually of lives.

In his book “Atomic Habits,” James Clear detailed the three layers of behavior change.

Rather than changing habits by focusing on outcomes — the top-down approach — , we can focus on our identity — the bottom-up approach, which is much more efficient.

People want to start reading because all young billionaires read 100 books a year. Their goal isn’t to read for the sake of reading, but to what it will eventually, maybe, surely bring them in the future.

Marketers, Chinese, they’ve all succeeded brilliantly in using consistency to change us for their purposes. Why can’t we do the same for ourselves? It is possible to use this power in our service. Consistency is the fuel that makes habits work. Habits are the fuel that makes humans work. Let’s work better now!

“True behavior change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity.” — James Clear, Atomic Habits