Election Day Humor | Inspiration
8 Tentacles Of Things To Do On Election Day — And, Beyond
Watching *My Octopus Teacher* on Netflix is №1
US Election Day 2020 is finally here and it will be a grueling day, lasting approximately 120 hours, more or less.
To keep your sanity the day of, I have 8 uplifting tips for you to stay off of the Socials and let your mind meander — not to the despair of humans — but, to the hope for humanity.
No 1. Bury your head in the…ocean
To start Election Day off with a bang — of human decency — go to your Netflix account and watch or re-watch My Octopus Teacher. It’s a documentary that covers the love story of Craig and a baby octopus from her youth to her eventual demise.
The beautiful underwater footage will have you mesmerized. Craig will give you hope that humans who have more trouble empathizing and seeing the deeper parts of life still have hope.
Warning: watch this in the morning when it’s not as dangerous to be near a phone, computer, or tv. Technology will become increasingly dangerous as the day — and week — wears on.
No 2. Remember even rats have a good side
Time for a short YouTube break. It’s still morning and you’re relatively safe. Stay away from CNN, Apple News, The New York Times, and any other Information gathering platforms.
Watch this amazing poet, Elizabeth Acevedo, performing “Rat Ode.” If Elizabeth Acevedo can elevate the rat, surely we can find some kind of silver lining in this shitstorm dweek.
A Dweek is a day + week that blends together so blurrily you wake up not knowing what day it is all week.
Then, buy one of her books from www.bookshop.org to support one of your local bookstores. This will feel good!
No 3. Continue the binge
It’s probably mid-morning by now. We’re going to go hard on television until mid-afternoon. Grab yourself a banana and some trail mix or a tub of ice cream. Whatever sounds good. Today is all about you.
Lucky for you, Somebody Feed Phil just released a new season on Netflix. It’s a really fun show that will make you hungry, make you laugh, and make you remember when you used to like people. I wrote about it here.
No 4. Eggcellent fried rice prep
This is skirting into semi-dangerous territory, but I have faith you can stay away from election-related doom and gloom and click on this Fried Rice Tutorial by Lucy The Eggcademic (she/her) instead.
Prep your rice so you can make the recipe the day after election. You won’t regret it! While you’re cooking your rice to refrigerate for the night, make yourself a healthy lunch. Or, go to McDonald’s after you prep your rice. It’s a free day. Eat whatever you want.
No 5. Sex in Paris from your bedroom
We are going to take one more Election Day visit to Netflix to travel to Paris with Emily. It’s fluffy. It’s light. The characters are flat. The scenery is gorgeous. There’s no pandemic or Election Day. It’s a perfect distraction. Emily in Paris. Or, go old school Darren Starr (he’s the director) and watch Sex in the City on Hulu instead. It also features no pandemic or election, as far as I can remember.
No 6. Commune with the non-humans
If you are in the least bit empathic or a sensitive soul, you’re probably feeling the low level buzz of apocalyptic energy running through the minds of the masses.
The thing is, that’s not healthy. Nature is a good anecdote. If you can, open a window or take a walk. Or read a nature book. Connect with the non-human species.
Pet your dog, ferret, rat, or cat. Curl up and take a nap. Listen to the Calm meditation app. You get my drift. It’s at calm.com — smart marketing, huh?!
No 7. Check your checkbooks
It’s into the wee hours of evening. You are tempted to check social media. Really tempted.
Go to your junk drawer or overstuffed closet and find your stash of checkbooks from a decade or two ago. Balance them. All of them. Use an old school calculator. Do not look at your bills online. It will be too tempting to check in to Twitter, The News, etc. Do not do it. Today, consider the computer and smartphone calculators evil and off-limits.
No 8. The Hug
Hopefully your eyes are getting sleepy from balancing your checkbooks from the 80s and 90s. Now, it’s time to listen to a podcast. It’s best to download this podcast before watching My Octopus Teacher. That way you won’t be tempted to open websites. Just go to Spotify, the Apple Store, or Anchor and listen to Jonathon Fields episode called “The Hug.”
Jonathon had the idea to air a pre-election Pod with a collaboration of storytellers remembering a specific time in their lives when they experienced a kindness. Post-election, there will be a second part of The Hug where the goodness of humanity will be shared.
Congratulations!
You made it to the end of Election Day 2020. You should be feeling pretty drowsy now. Turn off your phone. Unplug your computers. Power down your laptops. Imagine a world before computers and cellphones.
Snuggle up with Fido or Larry and have a good night’s sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
