8 Simple Ways to Control Your Emotions Professionally

To avoid decisions that you may regret later

Often, we later regret how our knee-jerk reaction escalates an incident and sparks a negative response from bosses, friends, or family. A single word could sadly result in a breakup or loss of a job.

Those who can control their emotions are usually successful and have attractive personalities. They can cope with hardships rationally. They’re diplomats. They’re leaders by nature.

The primary purpose of emotional intelligence is to know how to control your emotions in tough situations. Anger should always be controlled — healthy emotions, like sadness, should be felt at any time but only displayed at the right times.

“The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.” — Josh Billings

In this article, I’m going to share with you tips to help you control your emotions in tough times. They require practice, but that’s how we improve at everything.

Optimism; Positive Thinking

Focus on the positive — for some reason, our minds want to project the worst when most likely the reason something is or is not happening, like your best friend didn’t pick up the phone or respond to your message, is innocent and benign. Avoid doubting things, e.g., whether what someone said was honest. Even if what you think is correct, don’t give it attention until you make sure about it — what good does it do you to dwell on what may be.

“Suspicion is the most false speech” — Old saying

Don’t overthink what will be the response to an application you submitted, or how you did in a job interview. There’s nothing to do until you actually have the result.

This rule helped me significantly in avoiding the unnecessary tension that I could have felt while studying for my BSc degree. Instead of worrying too much about whether I did well in my exams and with the reports I submitted, I projected positive outcomes.

This acts as the Law of Attraction. When I commit to doing something while being optimistic that it might work, often it does. Sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, it leaves me free from all the external factors about which I might have wasted time concerning myself.

Hope for the best and you shall find it.

Be hopeful and believe things will work out. If not, then you can’t do anything about it until the opportunity to leverage past-mistake manifests.

Live in the moment

This helped me when I was in college, e.g. not worried about where I would work after graduation. Will starting a training course help me in my career? Are three months enough to lose weight? No sense in worrying if it would be enough time. If I don’t start, I will certainly fail.

Sometimes coping with something that happened in the past is challenging. It might be about something you regret or a sad incident related to your close ones. However, the past can’t be fixed or lived again. You can only learn from it.

Similarly, don’t overthink about your future even though it’s necessary to set a long vision plan. It will bring you nothing but stress and tension. Always remember:

Yesterday has passed, tomorrow hasn’t arrived, so focus on today.

Be honest

Especially in relationships and with close friends. Honesty builds trust and brings clarity. It eliminates misunderstanding. Honesty increases appreciation and respect between people. It helps you to build boundaries with others whenever you want.

Honesty doesn’t mean you should be rude while speaking with others. You can share your thoughts without hurting them. I read a useful tip from one of the most popular books by Dale Carnegie, How to win friends and influence people.

Start by mentioning the good things about someone’s point of view or his work. Then tell your opinion about it without criticizing that person.

Honesty does not have to be brutal.

Forget & forgive

Sometimes, it is bliss to forget about the things that happened in the past. Don’t stress yourself whenever you go through a critical moment. Like having a tough day at work, or getting through a heated argument with someone.

Forget about it and move on. Remember to live the moment. This mindset gave me a lot of peace since I applied it.

Furthermore, forgiveness relieves hate. It helps you to ease the suppression and anger about a sad memory. Take a personal inventory of your day before you go to bed, and forgive yourself and others whenever it’s required.

I learned this advice from my friend and it showed its fruits later. For example, whenever I get into an argument with one of my colleagues or an upsetting incident happens, once home, I would just forget about it as nothing happened. Why would I bother with something from the past?

If I can learn from it, I should not forget, but I should forgive.

Meditation

This is one of the most common ways to control your negative thoughts and emotions. Meditation helps you to calm yourself. It decreases stress and increases self-awareness. It also improves your mood and helps you to focus on the present. Also, Meditation could be practiced in different forms depending on one’s beliefs.

Doing 5-minutes Mindful breathing meditation could help you have better control over yourself in the long term.

The more I practice meditation, the more focused and calmer I become. However, meditation needs time until it shows its fruits.

Give yourself time to respond

In this way, you don’t regret saying or doing something whenever you are fueled by negative emotions. If we all, myself included, would exercise a little patience before judging someone, we could avoid making a lot of wrong decisions.

Whenever an unpleasant incident occurs, before throwing that word which may end a happy relationship, or result in a loss of a job, take in some fresh air and give yourself some time to calm.

Try to understand the situation. Leave the message you wrote to scold someone until the next day. Then see if it’s right to send it or not.

In this way, you’ll avoid a lot of troubles.

Slow Breathing Exercise

I read this method recently from ‘The willpower instinct’ book, by Kelly McGonigal. It’s used particularly to deal with anxiety and stressful events.

Naturally, your heart rate increases whenever you get panic about a stressful situation. When it gets worse, you will start sweating and your body will be in a self-defense condition. This is called the fight-or-flight.

However, the slow breathing method, or as the author called it; pause and plan response, acts the opposite of the fight-or-flight mode. It’ll help you to slow down your heart rate and become calmer so you can decide freely whether to act upon threat or to retreat.

You can apply this method by simply slowing your breath by 4–6 breaths per minute. Don’t hold it, just slow it down.

Journaling

This is a process used to track your goals, release your thoughts, emotions, and behavior to analyze and act upon them.

In a journal, you’ll write your diary about how your day went and how reacted to it. Like noting whether you reacted to an annoying conversation. You will note everything you remember about that event whether or not it was ok. You’ll set a strategy about how to react if you are tracking a specific habit.

Also, you can set your temporary goals and daily routine plans in your journal. Then track them every day including what you have accomplished and why you haven’t.

Conclusion

Learning to control your emotions can save you from making the wrong decisions and taking misguided actions that could affect your life later. Different tips can help you deal with your emotions positively. In summary:

• Unless you’re sure about what your future is holding. Be optimistic and stay positive.
• The past has passed. Tomorrow is in the future. Focus on today.
• Honesty gives you peace of mind without hurting others.
• Forget and forgive to live in the present.
• Give yourself time to respond to avoid regrets.
• Slow breathing helps you to pass the fight-or-flight moments.
• Journal to understand your emotions and thoughts.

Share with us in the comments about how do you control your emotions in difficult situations?

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