avatarCarlo Zeno

Summary

The article humorously outlines common misconceptions and wishful thinking scenarios experienced by writers on Medium, highlighting the discrepancy between perceived success and reality.

Abstract

The piece titled "8 Signs You’re Hallucinating On Medium" on the undefined website uses a satirical tone to address the often unrealistic expectations of writers on the platform. It lists eight humorous scenarios where writers might mistake their experiences for success, such as believing their earnings are significant or that their stories are receiving more engagement than they actually are. The article, authored by Carlo Zeno in 2023, encourages writers to face reality with a sense of humor, acknowledging the challenges of making a substantial income on Medium. It also gives credit to the team at Doctor Funny and promotes two other satirical articles by Ann James and Kristine Laco.

Opinions

  • The article suggests that writers on Medium may delude themselves into believing their work is more successful than it is, such as imagining their earnings are substantial when they are not.
  • It implies that the reality of writing on Medium often falls short of the dreams and aspirations of its writers, with the platform's payment system being a particular source of disillusionment.
  • The piece playfully criticizes the tendency of writers to inflate the importance of their achievements, such as mistaking a small number of fans for significant earnings or imagining Medium might pay them more generously in the future.
  • It takes a light-hearted jab at the self-congratulatory nature of writers who might consider applauding their own work, suggesting a need for a reality check.
  • The author seems to empathize with the struggle of writers on Medium, using humor to soften the blow of the truth about the challenges of the platform.
  • The article's acknowledgment of other writers and the inclusion of links to their work indicates a sense of community and mutual support among Medium contributors.

Pinch Yourself

8 Signs You’re Hallucinating On Medium

Get your eyes checked

If it looks too good to be true, it probably is / Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash
  1. You thought you noticed your green statistic graphs were steadily climbing upward. They’re not. Get your eyes checked out.
  2. You suddenly thought maybe your monthly Medium earnings weren’t so bad in the greater scheme of things. Getting crushed and killed by a stampede of elephants also isn’t so bad in the greater scheme of things. What’s your point?
  3. You thought you saw an announcement by Medium that they were going to start paying writers for external views. Upon closer inspection, they said they are considering only paying a small select few for external views, and that definitely does not include you.
  4. You thought you saw someone click on the Tip Function on the bottom of your latest story. How is this even possible? It was you who clicked on your own Tip Function. It’s time to check yourself in to see a doctor.
  5. You thought you saw a notification saying your most popular story this month has now made $50 dollars. You read it wrong. The notification said your story now has 50 fans and has earned $3.58.
  6. You swore you just received an email notifying you of your monthly stripe payment for last month from Medium, which was $1200 dollars. You were daydreaming. Your payment for last month was $27.14. Do you need a coffee?
  7. While you were reviewing one of your published stories, you thought you saw a caption pop up saying, “You cannot applaud your own story.” For once, you saw correctly. Why are you trying to clap on your own story?
  8. You just noticed a story you wrote last week now has 70,000 claps. Get a grip: it’s only 700 claps. Is that vodka or water on your desk? I think you are seeing double.
Put down the vodka and repeat after me: SEVEN HUNDRED CLAPS. / Photo by Irene Giunta on Unsplash

© Carlo Zeno 2023

_______________________

Thanks for reading and having the courage to face the facts. Also thanks to the team at Doctor Funny. Check out these two outbursts of wit by Ann James and Kristine Laco 👇

Satire
Humor
Disillusionment
Medium
Doctor Funny
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