8 Psychological Reasons Why Some People Are More Attractive
Blame it on the cat
Once upon a time, evolutionary psychologists wrapped sexual attraction up with a neat Darwinian bow when they developed the “good genes ovulatory shift hypothesis,” or GGOSH.
The hypothesis claimed that women are attracted to men who exhibit higher dominance (chiseled jawline, physical fitness, confident body language, etc.) when ovulating. And when the egg store is closed for business, women choose the dorky, sweet guy with biceps the size of unripe lemons.
Translation — women choose the bad boy when they are fertile and the good guy when they are not.
This theory had its charms. To start, it made women inculpable for their poor relationship decisions. Sleep with a fuckboy? You couldn’t help it. You were just answering nature’s call to spread your DNA with the alpha male. How could women possibly be held accountable when our hormones blinded us like a hero in a Greek tragedy.
Ahhhhh… such simpler times.
Unfortunately, later researchers determined that GGOSH was complete hogwash. When researchers used a larger sample size that included more than college kids, they found that women were more interested in short-term and long-term relationships during their ovulatory cycle, but it didn’t change whom they chose.
In other words, when a woman is ovulating, she may be more receptive to sex but not necessarily more receptive to men who exhibited dominant behaviors.
So if hormones are not solely to blame for our sexual choices, why do we choose particular mates over others?
Fortunately, science has some answers, albeit weird ones.
Your soul mate is in the mirror
The romantics love to defend the “opposites attract” trope, but the research on assortative mating is clear. Whether economic status, educational level, religious affiliations, or age, humans have an uncanny ability to find beauty in the familiar.
The desire to date ourselves is so strong that one study found that people are more attracted to mates who look like them.
In this study, researchers morphed a picture of a stranger with either the participant’s or stranger’s picture. The researchers then asked the participants to choose the more attractive person.
The results were creepy. The participants overwhelmingly chose the amalgamation of themselves and a stranger.
This might explain why couples in love start to resemble each other. Or maybe we are all just egocentric narcissists looking for our mirror reflection.
The sweet sound of your name
The drive to find similarities is so great that some psychologists claim we are more attracted to people who share our initials or have similar-sounding names. This phenomenon is called the name-letter-effect. For example, if your name is Paula, you are more likely to marry Peter, Patrick, or even Paul.
But don’t despair if your name is Zelda. The name-letter-effect does have its retractors. The original 2004 research found similar names in married couples by compiling joint listings in a nationwide online phone directory. There is one obvious flaw with this method. Names are subjected to trends. For example, in periods where the name Eric is popular, Erica is also popular.
Still, if you find yourself only dating people that share your initials, don’t fret. You are just as narcissistic as the rest of the world.
The one area opposites attract
What do puppy love and human love have in common? Both dogs and people sniff each other out. Sure, we don’t stick our noses in each other’s crotch, but every stranger has to pass a whiff test.
The research on how smell affects attraction differs depending on the intent. Research has found that we gravitate toward friends who smell like us, while we are more sexually attracted to people who smell different.
People with that sweet opposite smell are more attractive because it indicates an opposite immune system. Humans subconsciously smell a partner’s major histocompatibility complex (MHC) — the genes that help the immune system recognize foreign substances in disease-causing organisms.
This makes sense when considering how our offspring inherits a robust immune system. If we pass on a diverse set of MHC genes, our offspring can better fight off infections and disease.
Proving once again that nothing forges the bonds of true love like genetics.
Cat owners are hotter
“Must love cats” is rarely seen on men’s dating profiles, and for a good reason. Researchers found that when men posed with cats in their dating profiles, women viewed them as “less masculine, more neurotic, and less dateable.” Ouch.
But not so fast, kitten haters. Cat people have something the dog lovers do not — a parasitic infection that makes them hot.
Yep, you read that right. A recent study found that the parasite Toxoplasmosis gondii causes infected females to have less body fat, infected men to have more testosterone, and both genders to have more symmetrical features.
T. gondii is a mind-altering parasite that affects approximately 30-50% of the population. Most infections are transmitted through cat litter, contaminated soil, and raw meat, but they also can be transmitted sexually.
The sex part is what causes the hijinx. T. gondii changes the appearance of its host because a more attractive host will have more sex and spread to more people. The researchers even found infected individuals had more sex than uninfected individuals.
Either way, since Kim Kardashian recently claimed she would ‘eat poop’ to stay young and pretty, she is now free to indulge in cat shit. Bon appetite!
Two peas in one sweaty pod
We have all heard that matching someone’s body language can build rapport, but recent research found that mirroring body language didn’t lead to stronger sexual attraction.
In this study, participants on speed dates wore eye-tracking devices, skin conductors, heart rate monitors, and motion detectors. The researchers found that couples who matched each other’s smiles, gaze, or gestures didn’t report a stronger sexual attraction.
But researchers did find one bodily function that predicted mad hot sex — ‘physiological synchrony’ — in-sync sweating and heart rates. Still, since sweating and heart rate are hard to control, most of us will have to wait for two hearts to beat as one.
You again? The power of proximity
We all know the maxim when applied to real estate — location, location, location. The same holds for sexual attraction. Called the “Proximity Effect,” psychologists have long understood that we are more attracted to people who are physically close to us.
The Proximity Effect explains why people are attracted to coworkers, neighbors, and people in their friend circle. This also explains why it is so hard to build intimacy on dating apps. Writing endless text messages may have a certain Austinesque allure, but the people who spend time together find true love.
They didn’t like you…at first
People always tell me that they thought I didn’t like them at first. (My resting bitch face is legendary.) Those confessions bothered me until I remembered the “gain-loss theory of attraction.”
Simply put, the gain-loss theory of attraction states that when we make a bad first impression but then later win someone over, we like that person more because we had to work harder for their approval.
So if you are the love-bombing type, cool it. Most people are suspicious of affection given too easily.
Pretty girls are happy girls but men…hold the smiles
Look at the cover of any bodice ripper, and it usually features some shirtless dude with smoldering eyes and a stoic, tight-lipped expression. You won’t find many romance novel covers featuring the main character with a big goofy grin. In our culture, sex is a serious business.
Researchers claim they know why smiling men have less sex appeal. One study found that women who expressed happiness were viewed as more attractive, while the opposite was true in men. The more men smiled, the less attractive they appeared.
Researchers found the same dour conclusion on dating app profiles. While smiling increased a woman’s attractiveness, men were rated hotter if they didn’t flash their pearly whites.
Two schools of thought explain why Mr. Smiley doesn’t get the girl. First, a smile conveys submissiveness — a trait women want in puppies but not in a partner. In simplistic terms, submissiveness correlates with a lack of status.
Second, men are still viewed as providers, and that role is no laughing matter. Women might choose the unsmiling guy because it indicates that he is serious about his provider responsibilities.
Either way, these findings explain the allure of the brooding bad boy. Or at least, they shine an ugly black light on our hierarchal society that doesn’t allow men to emote.
One word of caution: While these studies might reflect how women react to men in a 2D world, not smiling is horrible advice in real life. Picture a woman sitting alone in a bar. Which stranger do you think she will be more receptive to? The scowling guy trying to undress her with his eyes or the approachable guy with the infectious grin?
A smile indicates that you are not a threat. A smile disarms. Do you want to disarm a woman or make her reach for her pocket mace?
In 1868, Charles Darwin wrote a hilarious pros/cons list on whether he should marry or not. For the reasons to marry, he listed “female chit-chat” and “better than a dog anyhow.” For the reasons not to marry, he listed “not forced to visit relatives” and “read in the Evenings.”
Not much has changed in over a century. Darwin understood that lust fades, so whom we choose to love can sometimes be a choice of the lesser evil.
So if you find someone better than a dog who lets you read…hold on with both hands.
