Summary

The article provides personal finance insights based on the author's experience as a financial coach, emphasizing that financial issues often stem from deeper personal matters and that understanding one's own money narratives is crucial for financial health.

Abstract

The author, with a background in wealth management and life coaching, shares eight insights gained from financial coaching experiences. These insights reveal that financial problems may not be solved by simply having more money, as underlying personal issues can be the root cause. Many individuals are unaware of the subconscious narratives that drive their financial behavior, which are often shaped by childhood experiences and societal influences. The author notes a gender gap in financial management comfort levels, with more women seeking help, while men often avoid discussions about budgeting, preferring to focus on investment growth. The article also touches on the misconception that money can't buy happiness, arguing instead that money can provide security, experiences, and choices. It stresses the importance of accepting one's financial situation before making improvements and cautions against the dangers of comparing oneself to others, especially in the age of social media. The author highlights that many seemingly successful people have financial challenges and that financial advice is inherently subjective. The overall message is to raise one's "spiritworth," or the combination of net worth and self-worth, through a better understanding and management of personal finances.

Opinions

Money problems are frequently symptomatic of deeper personal issues, not merely a lack of funds.
People often operate under unidentified narratives about money that influence their financial decisions.
There is a noticeable gender gap in comfort levels regarding financial management, with women more likely to seek help.
Money can indeed contribute to happiness by providing security, experiences, and choices, despite the common saying to the contrary.
Acceptance of one's financial situation is a prerequisite for positive change.
Comparing oneself to others, known as "keeping up with the Joneses," can lead to dissatisfaction and poor financial decisions.
Many outwardly successful individuals have significant financial problems that are not publicly visible.
Financial advice is subjective and should be considered with the understanding that it is based on the advisor's perspectives and experiences.

8 Valuable Personal Finance Insights To Inspire Change

Mo Money Mo Problems

Over the years, I’ve worn a few different hats.

That was why my first two articles Recession-Proof Your Life-Part 1 and Recession-Proof Your Life-Part 2 align with two separate career paths I have been on.

One area I dabbled with was “financial coaching”. It’s an unregulated field, so it’s an area that manifests in various forms.

Some coaches pitch services aimed at debt elimination. Others focus on budgeting. One or two even veer into the Wild West of crypto strategies.

My approach was to combine my background in the Wealth Management industry with my life coaching training.

I had heady aspirations to improve the financial picture of the masses. I hoped to improve relationships with money, doing so by steering clear of licensed financial and investment advice as much as I could.

Great ideals. But it was a hard grind. Regardless, I learned a hell of a lot about people and their money.

Here are eight observations that may help you think about your money differently:

Money problems aren’t always solved by more money. One client came to me wanting to talk about getting her financial picture in order. Apparently, she couldn’t stop spending money, her credit cards were becoming problematic, and she simply couldn’t put money away for the future. Twenty minutes deep into the conversation, we switched to her real issue. She was sad because she didn’t know whether to make the leap to Australia to be with a new man in her life, who was going through a messy divorce. Her current lifestyle simply reflected her unhappiness. Her money situation was just a by-product. (SPOILER ALERT: it ended happily ever after).
Most people don’t know the narratives driving their money choices. Plenty of clients spent money in a way they fundamentally didn’t want to. But they couldn’t tell me why they were doing so. They had no clue about what stories were shaping their behavior. Try it on yourself. Ask yourself: does “money grow on trees” for you? Is “the love of money the root of all evil”? Or is it “easy come, easy go”? We all grew up with money stories. The result of innocent parental comments at the dinner table sometimes. Many of them still inform our choices. Do you know which ones shape your approach to money?

There was a gender gap — socialization is real. The majority of my clients were female. Many were smart and successful, earning very well. But they often felt overwhelmed by the thought of money management. The stock market frightened some — it all felt too macho and aggressive. So in our sessions, we started with the budgeting side of things before we branched out. Meanwhile, I found far fewer men willing to talk personal finance. They didn’t want to talk about budgets or “other signs of weakness”. Too boring. They wanted to know about crypto and all things Tesla. And with that came another problem — too much focus on growing money, not enough on protecting it.
Money can’t buy happiness…but it can buy security, experiences, and choices. I’ve coached some very successful people. Regional business heads. Big pay packets…and thoroughly miserable. Money isn’t everything. We know that. The research tells us as much. But it’s a tool that can still add value. In the right context, it can buy peace of mind and provide you with options.
You can’t fix something you aren’t willing to accept. Awareness is always the starting point. Unfortunately, denial often jumps to the front of the line. A friend once asked me to coach her. I think she was hoping for a magic wand. She didn’t want to accept that she was the one that had to do the hard yards. She had to take responsibility. Still hasn’t.
The Joneses have a lot to answer for. We all know that comparison is the thief of joy. That’s what trying to keep up with the Joneses leads to. A lack of joy. And as the Knowledge Project podcast episode with Andrew Wilkinson laid out, even billionaires struggle with a version of this. Such is the human condition, we often find ourselves comparing our real life to the social media highlight reel of others. The thing is, we have no true window into their worlds. We don’t know whether they are truly happy behind the coiffured hair and top-of-the-range Mercedes. For all we know, the lifestyle they project could be down to crippling debt, a life of crime, or a hand-to-mouth existence. Picture that if it helps save you from yourself.

“Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.”

More people out there have money problems than you realize. The quote above is from legendary investor Warren Buffett. I’ve been amazed by how many outwardly successful” people I’ve met have been financially challenged. I used to love reading the weekly column in the Financial Times by Sir David Tang, the Hong Kong socialite and entrepreneur. He lived a rich and flamboyant lifestyle. He was friends with politicians, actors and royalty. It wa s only after he died in 2017 that we saw the end to the façade. He had spent all the money he made. He left his widow penniless. I’m sure the upcoming recession will wash up a fair few skinny dippers.
Advice is subjective…We’re all making it up. At the end of the day, I didn’t have a crystal ball or mind-reading skills. Sure, I felt I could add value. And often I did (I think). But it was based on my perspectives, flawed and human as they were. There’s nothing wrong with taking advice. Just understand we’re all making life up.

I’m a finance guy by trade with an additional background in career and life coaching.

Essentially, I created Spiritworth with the ambitious goal to help others “raise their spirit and raise their (net and self) worth.” A bit grandiose, perhaps, but you’ve got to shoot for something.

Learn more by joining as a member and help support Medium writers https://medium.com/@spiritworth/membership

And you can connect with me on Twitter for insights on life, career, and finance.

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