8 Experiences That Will Help You Determine Your Values

How to identify your core principles in life

Our lives are full of decisions.

Upon finishing school, we choose our academic path. After that, we select a professional track. And before we know it, we decide if we want a family or not.

There are two options.

You can either make these decisions according to external factors — like social expectations and family traditions — or personal values.

If you go with option one, you’ll always please someone else, but maybe not yourself.

That’s where personal values come into play.

To make smart and responsible long-term decisions, we need a well-tailored set of values.

As such, we need core principles that shape our priorities, define our life’s trajectory, and guide our choices.

If you face a tough professional risk-vs-safety decision, your work principles will point you in the right direction.

If you have to make a financial choice, your money-related values will guide your decision.

And in the case of relationship drama, your social values will help you determine the best course of action.

Values are the foundation of any smart decision and an essential part of finding satisfaction in life.

So, how do we identify those values?

Experiences that will help you determine your core values

One way to define your cardinal principles is to go on value-finding missions.

In this context, various experiences can help you identify your values.

These experiences showcase opposite values in different fields, giving you a clearer vision of your priorities.

1. Going on a digital detox

Embarking on a digital detox is an excellent way to redefine your relationship with technology.

A few years ago, I spent five days in the Chilean Magallanes region with no internet, streaming services, or phone signal. All I had was the majestic Patagonian nature.

It was my first digital detox, but it wouldn’t be the last.

Cut off from the outside world, I spent my days hiking, observing animals, reading books, journaling, and talking to people in the trekking group.

Upon returning to civilization, my journal revealed a few key takeaways:

I am more addicted to technology than I’d like to admit, but I can still enjoy the raw wilderness of remote locations;
social media should serve my personal and professional life, not the other way around:
books offer both escapism and lessons. Movies only provide escapism;
real conversations with diverse people trump futile social media discussions every time; and
reducing our news consumption is a great way to counter anxiety.

Those five days in Patagonia became a value-defining experience. The digital detox created a new series of principles for my usage of technology.

In short, the values for my digital life were born.

2. Traveling in a new style

Another value-finding mission is to travel in ways you haven’t considered before.

If you’re a typical solo backpacker, go on a group tour. If you’re an all-inclusive tourist, take a more low-key vacation. And if most of your holidays include chilling on the beach, try a culture-focused city trip.

Changing your travel style has several benefits.

First, it will enable you to try a novel experience — fueling your curiosity. And that curiosity will help you reconsider your priorities, both on trips and in life.

Secondly, a new travel style will help you determine your essentials in terms of traveling.

By taking away the familiar, this new experience will showcase the importance or futility of your usual travel habits. It will also highlight your decision-making process.

As an example, if you’re used to all-inclusive resorts and then try out a more adventurous travel style, you’ll see what it is you truly value.

You’ll find out whether your primary values include comfort and service, or you just fall for advertisement schemes.

Consequently, this change in your travel routine can help you realize whether you make your decisions according to personal values or external cues.

3. Job-hopping

I found my dream job.

That’s a lie many 20-somethings tell themselves.

Before knowing what a dream job is, you first need to establish professional values. And these professional values only ensue after several experiences.

That’s where job-hopping comes to fruition.

By taking on varied professional challenges, you’ll know what kind of benefits and disadvantages each one brings to the table.

Before working in the finance sector, I always thought that social status and regular paychecks were an integral part of my catalog of professional priorities.

After two years of working 12-hour days in different companies, however, I understood that these weren’t actual values. They were ideas that seemed great on paper but didn’t deliver in reality.

Without that period of job-hopping, I would never have discovered my real professional values: purpose and variation.

In the eyes of many people, I had landed a “dream job.” My job-hopping experience revealed a different perspective, and it helped shape my criteria for a value-driven dream job.

4. Dating a person from a different culture

Many people underestimate the impact of cultural values.

I am a proud European, but I never grasped the effect of European values on my personality before dating a South American girl.

In my cultural environment, most people value discipline, diligence, and individual success.

In this context, many people see religion, tradition, and community as personal issues that shouldn’t stand in the way of your endeavors.

As an example, going to mass or attending a family lunch instead of a job interview wouldn’t go down well in my circle back home.

I never thought about these values, but my inter-cultural relationship underlined their importance.

When my girlfriend would go to church instead of finishing an essential professional assignment, I realized that our values differed.

Consequently, dating a person with diverging cultural values helps you determine yours.

By exposing yourself to cultural differences, you’ll comprehend how cultural values shape your lifestyle and identity.

5. Taking on several 30-day challenges a year

Another great way to determine your core values is to take on various one-month experiments.

I remember coming across a Matt d’Avella video in which he tried out some challenges, notably 30 days of cold showers, meditating one hour a day, and quitting caffeine for a month.

For Matt, it was all about building habits. The idea was that he would experiment with a particular habit for one month and then see if it could work as a permanent ritual.

I did the same but with a different approach. I took on a few of his challenges and some others to question my values.

Here are some of the results:

reading ten books a month showed me that I don’t value random entertainment at night. I prefer quality information and literary escapism;
meditating every morning helped me realize the importance of morning mindfulness; and
tracking every minute of my life for one month showed me that I value productivity over busyness.

Consequently, these challenges will help you analyze your current values and possibly identify new ones.

6. Living as if you were broke

Living well below your budget is an excellent method to define your values in terms of consumption.

By adopting a minimalist consumer mindset, you force yourself to determine essential purchases and separate them for luxury buys.

In short, you characterize your “needs” and “wants.” You’ll consume intentionally and establish clear-cut buying rules.

Better still, a low budget will help you assess your spending habits and discover hidden expenses.

You might not adopt minimalism as a permanent lifestyle, but the lessons from a minimalist experiment will undoubtedly form new values and streamline your consumer decisions.

7. Living as if you were P. Diddy

After trying out minimalism, living a lavish lifestyle for a limited period is another way to find out what your genuine values are.

Set yourself an insane budget for one month.

It should naturally stay in the realm of your financial possibilities, but the idea is that you make no sacrifices and live like a king for a limited stretch.

During that month, you’ll learn about your relationship with money, luxury, and status.

Ask yourself: are you more satisfied when you spend a lot? Is a lavish lifestyle more fulfilling than a minimalist one? And would you permanently live like this if you could?

While reading this, you might say to yourself: “Of course!”

The answer, however, isn’t as straightforward.

The Washington Post recently cited a Princeton study finding that above a yearly income of 75,000 dollars, more money does not equal more happiness.

Consequently, trying out whether more money boosts your happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment is a great way to define your values in terms of money.

8. Moving to a different country

Finally, leaving your hometown and settling in a different country is an ideal way to define your environment-related priorities.

You’ll learn whether you value familiar routines over constant discoveries and whether you cherish cultural adaptation.

People generally use the phrase “you don’t know what you have until someone takes it away” in the context of relationships, but it also applies to familiar environments.

Before becoming a digital nomad, I never realized how much I valued Western European punctuality and infrastructure.

Before spending six months in Asia, I never knew how much I enjoyed speaking the local language.

And without having lived in South American capitals for a while, I would never have appreciated the significance of European safety levels.

We take things for granted that exist in our hometown. Moving away, we’ll realize the importance or superfluity of these elements.