How to Meditate on Compassion

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive”—the Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama characterizes compassion as “the foundation of all well-being.”

He says it’s in our own self-interest to care about the welfare of all because compassionate action can increase our own happiness, have a positive impact on our health, and make the world a better place too.

The Dalai Lama makes a strong plea for universal compassion as a critical way to decrease the horrific suffering we see around the world today. Instead of reserving our compassion for those closest to us, whether that means our family, our community, or our country, he urges us to extend compassion to all without distinction.

That is not an easy task because most of us have been conditioned to have preferences and divide into “us” and “them” from an early age. But thanks to neuroplasticity, we can change our brains and our behaviors.

In his book, Beyond Religion, the Dalai Lama cites research conducted by Professor Richard Davidson which has demonstrated that as little as two weeks of compassion training can bring about observable changes in brain patterns and a greater inclination to charitable giving.

Just imagine how this kind of training, if practiced widely, could change the world.

How do we train our mind and heart in compassion? Let’s take a look, starting with the definition of compassion.

What Is Compassion?

Almost all of us feel a sense of empathy when we see someone in the throes of suffering. This natural sense of empathy is the basis for genuine compassion.

But, genuine compassion is more than a transitory feeling of empathy:

“…Although compassion arises from empathy, the two are not the same. Empathy is characterized by a kind of emotional resonance—feeling with the other person. Compassion, in contrast, is not just sharing experience with others, but also wishing to see them relieved of their suffering. Being compassionate does not mean remaining entirely at the level of feeling, which could be quite draining. After all, compassionate doctors would not be very effective if they were always preoccupied with sharing their patients’ pain. Compassion means wanting to do something to relieve the hardships of others, and this desire to help, far from dragging us further into suffering ourselves, actually gives us energy and a sense of purpose and direction. When we act upon this motivation, both we and those around us benefit still more.” — the Dalai Lama

Compassion becomes one of the “Four Boundless Attitudes,” which also includes Immeasurable Love, Immeasurable Joy, and Immeasurable Impartiality, when we learn to extend it to all without bias.

Compassion is based on the realization that we are all the same: We all want happiness and none of us wish to suffer. Mingyur Rinpoche says:

“It’s basic meaning is ‘feeling with,’ a recognition that what you feel, I feel. Anything that hurts you hurts me. Anything that helps you, helps me. Compassion…is a complete identification with others and an active readiness to help them in any way.” — The Joy of Living, Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness.

Genuine compassion is the wish for all beings to be free not just from suffering, but also from the causes of suffering — negative emotions, resultant negative actions, and the negative tendencies they create.

Compassion isn’t just a strategy for increased well-being, although that’s a wonderful side-effect. It’s a deep-felt identification with others and the suffering they experience.

A Basic Meditation on Compassion

We need to consistently work with our own mind to overcome our automatic tendency to self-centeredness and instead light our heart on fire with a feeling of universal compassion.

One of the best ways to do this is through meditating on compassion. The following steps constitute a basic meditation on compassion prescribed by Patrul Rinpoche in The Words of My Perfect Teacher. Although this meditation has its roots in Buddhism, it can be practiced by anyone.

• Begin by imagining someone who is suffering. It could be a close friend with a debilitating illness, someone who is impoverished, or an animal being brought to slaughter. Now, imagine that you’re undergoing this very same suffering. Envision in vivid detail exactly how terrible this suffering would be, and how powerless and hopeless you might feel.
• Then, consider how all this suffering is the effect of harmful actions from the past. That doesn’t mean anyone deserves to suffer. Negative actions usually come about as a confused way of seeking happiness and trying to avoid suffering.
• Next, reflect on the fact that all beings who are engaging in harmful actions now are creating the causes of suffering for themselves in the future. Sadly, we’re entwined in an endless cycle of suffering, unless we intentionally make new choices.
• Think: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all beings were freed from their negative tendencies, and actualized their full potential of compassion and wisdom instead of being stuck in this circle of suffering? With all your heart, wish for all beings to be free from the causes and effects of suffering.

When you first begin meditating on compassion, focus on one suffering individual or being at a time. Then, slowly expand your circle of compassion so that it includes not only those you love, but also those you feel neutral toward, and eventually even those you consider enemies. In the end, extend your love and compassion to all beings, everywhere.

If you begin to feel downcast while meditating on compassion, intersperse it with meditating on love.

It takes time to reverse our tendency to cherish and protect the self, and to widen our circle of compassion. Go slowly. By gradually stretching your comfort zone just a bit, eventually you’ll be able to feel compassion for everyone without overwhelming or burning yourself out in the process.

In addition to meditating on compassion, there are countless ways you can express your compassionate heart during daily life like helping someone in need, visiting the infirm, or donating to charity.

“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”—Albert Einstein

Closing Thoughts

Compassion isn’t optional. It’s necessary for our survival as a species.

The Dalai Lama reminds us,

“Love is the absence of judgment. Any love or compassion which entails looking down on the other is not genuine compassion. Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

Growing your compassionate heart will transform your being. Your compassionate thoughts, words, and actions will be like drops of nectar soothing the suffering of this world.

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