7 Unfortunate Signs You Are A Victim Of Your Partner’s Gaslighting
And the powerfully effective things you can do to take back your power immediately.
“Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.” — Drew Barrymore
I was a victim of gaslighting long before I knew there was a term for it. My narcissistic ex-partner who I have written about in detail before, had me believing I was crazy.
He made me believe my memories were made-up scenarios that never happened. He made me doubt I knew what was real, and what was an extension of my imagination. He would start fights and then pin all the fault on me claiming I needed to create drama to feel the passion of our love.
Ugh! I am so glad that is over now and that I was able to get out of that relationship. It was hard but not impossible. If I could do it, anybody can do it.
What is Gaslighting?
“Gaslighting are lies with a purpose to confuse and control.” — Tracy Malone
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that involves manipulating someone into questioning their own perceptions and experiences. The abuser deliberately tries to confuse, undermine, and manipulate the victim.
Some common gaslighting tactics include denying the victim’s experience or reality, questioning their memory or sanity, making them feel like they are “crazy” or “overreacting,” and manipulating them into doubting themselves.
If you are experiencing gaslighting, you may notice some common signs that indicate you are a victim of this type of abuse. These include being constantly doubted or second-guessed, feeling confused about your own thoughts and feelings, and having difficulty trusting others.
Additionally, gaslighting can cause feelings of shame, isolation, helplessness, and even self-doubt.
Where Did The Term Gaslighting Come From?
The term gaslighting is believed to have originated in the play Gas Light, which was written by Patrick Hamilton in 1938.
In the play, the husband works to drive his wife insane. He slowly manipulates her into believing that she is losing her mind by dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying that anything has changed when his wife points it out. She starts to really lose her mind and go insane over time.
This abusive technique continues for years until the wife finally regains her sanity and leaves her husband.
Since then, gaslighting has become a popular term used to describe emotional abuse in a variety of contexts.
Gaslighting is a serious problem because it can leave victims feeling helpless, confused, and isolated.
While gaslighting can be devastating for victims and their loved ones, it is also important to remember that there are steps you can take to regain your sense of sanity.
“Toxic people be like, ‘How dare you set boundaries and not allow me to control and manipulate you?’” — Wingheart
Here are 7 Unfortunate Signs You Are A Victim Of Gaslighting
1. Feeling constantly on edge and unsure of your own perceptions
“Some people do Oscar-winning performances to gaslight your good heart. Do not forget what they are.” — Dinakar
Feeling constantly on edge and unsure of your own perceptions can be a truly oppressive and demoralizing experience.
It can leave you reeling, feeling like your very sense of self has been undermined, and that it is impossible to trust any of your own thoughts or feelings.
This can be especially difficult if you are the victim of gaslighting, where someone intentionally seeks to manipulate and deceive you for their own gain.
An example of this was in the movie diary of a mad black woman where gaslighting occurred when the husband intentionally made his wife feel like she was losing her mind.
What you can do to take back your power:
Despite how bleak things may seem in the moment, it is important to remember that this state of constant anxiety is not permanent.
Remind yourself that you have the resilience and strength within you to overcome this situation and reclaim yourself from the person who seeks to control and manipulate you.
2. Having difficulty trusting your own judgment or making decisions
“It starts with a lie. Each day the lies amplify. Time goes by, the lies turn to gaslighting. Eventually, the lies become smears about you.” — Tracy Malone
If you are experiencing difficulty trusting your own judgment or making decisions, it is likely that gaslighting has taken hold in your life.
When someone intentionally seeks to undermine and manipulate you, it can be incredibly challenging to trust your own perceptions and instincts.
This can leave you feeling constantly confused and uncertain, unsure of what to do next or who to trust.
What you can do to take back your power:
While gaslighting can be a deeply traumatizing and disorienting experience, there are steps you can take to reclaim your power.
It is crucial that you stay grounded in the present moment and focus on your own needs and wellbeing.
Remember that you are the only expert on yourself, and that you alone have the power to make decisions about your life.
Trust your gut instincts, stay true to yourself, and never let anyone else control your reality.
3. Having persistent doubts about your memory or perception of events
“Gaslighting qualifies as a form of emotional abuse that involves denying a person’s experience and making statements, such as ‘that never happened,’ ‘you’re too sensitive,’ or ‘this isn’t that big a deal.’” — Ramani Durvasula
The gaslighter can intentionally plant doubts in your mind, or make it seem like your perception, and memory of things, are incorrect. You would then experience difficulty remembering things that happened in the past, due to gaslighting tactics such as doubting or manipulating your memory
As a result of the gaslighting, you may find yourself persistently doubting your memory or perception of events.
This can be extremely confusing and frustrating, as you may question whether you are actually remembering things correctly or just imagining things.
Gaslighting can cause you to doubt even the most basic aspects of your reality, leaving you feeling lost and confused.
What you can do to take back your power:
If you are struggling with doubts about your memory or perception, it is important to reach out for support from loved ones or professionals who can help you regain your sense of self.
In addition, focus on staying grounded in the present moment and taking care of yourself.
Remember, you alone have the power to decide what is real in your life. Trust your gut instincts, stay true to yourself, and never let anyone else gaslight you.
4. Feeling like you’re “losing your mind” or going crazy due to gaslighting attempts to make you doubt the reality
“Invalidation is crazy-making, and it is also at the root of gaslighting, where victims’ feelings are purposely denied or manipulated in order to make them question their sanity.” — Samantha Rodman
Gaslighting can make you feel like you’re “losing your mind” or going crazy due to the gaslighter’s attempts to make you doubt reality.
This can be an extremely confusing and frightening experience, as gaslighting can cause you to question your perception of reality.
If you are feeling like you are “losing your mind,” it is important to reach out for support from loved ones who already know you.
What you can do to take back your power:
Allow me to affirm you. You are not crazy. You are not losing your mind.
Focus on staying grounded in the present moment and taking care of yourself.
Trust your gut instincts and seek out people who love and support you.
5. Feeling isolated and like you can’t confide in anyone about what’s happening and experiencing extreme emotional distress
“Let us not get scooped up by gaslighting manipulators stealing our emotions and taking possession of our inner child to carry out their dark agenda. Let the light of our intuition guide us subtly and wisely along the path of trust and suspicion.” — Erik Pevernagie
Gaslighters often try to isolate their victims from others and convince them that they shouldn’t trust anyone else.
This can make it difficult or even impossible to confide in someone about what is happening, which can leave you feeling alone and helpless.
As a result, extreme emotional distress could present as mood swings, anxiety, depression, or other emotional distress. While in a relationship, persistent emotional distress can be an indicator that someone is gaslighting you.
Gaslighting can be an incredibly traumatizing experience, leaving you feeling confused and lost. This can cause mood swings, anxiety, depression, and other symptoms of emotional distress.
What you can do to take back your power:
While gaslighting can cause significant emotional distress, it is important to remember that you are not alone and there is help available. If you or someone you know is being gaslighted, please reach out for support.
Please remember the importance of self-care when dealing with gaslighters and seek help if you need it. Practice self-care and surround yourself with people who love and support you.
Additionally, if you are experiencing persistent emotional distress that does not go away on its own, it may be helpful for you to see a doctor or mental health professional for treatment.
6. Experiencing self-doubt or feeling like everything is hopeless due to gaslighting
“Don’t let others tell you what you can’t do. Don’t let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible.” — Roy T. Bennett
Being gaslit can be a very difficult and painful experience. As a victim, it is easy to start doubting yourself and feel like everything is hopeless.
Self-doubt is characterized by feelings of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of the self. It is something that we all may experience at certain times in our lives.
However, when it becomes debilitating, especially in a relationship, it might be time to check for what causes it.
What you can do to take back your power:
Focus on taking care of yourself by practicing self-care, connecting with loved ones, and reaching out for support when you need it.
With the right tools and resources, you can overcome self-doubt or feelings of hopelessness due to gaslighting and move forward towards healing.
If you feel that your self-doubt or hopelessness is getting worse and won’t go away on its own, consider speaking to a doctor or mental health professional for help.
7. Second-guessing yourself all the time
“Life is very short, and if you worry about what people think of you, if you second-guess yourself, you’re in trouble.” — Natesky
Second-guessing oneself is one of the most excruciating experiences.
The self-doubt, the self-recrimination, the self-hatred can be all-consuming. And when it’s constant, it can feel like there’s no escape.
If you find yourself second-guessing your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences all the time, it could be a sign that you are being gaslighted. When someone is gaslighting you, they will often try to make you question your own reality in order to control and manipulate you.
This can leave you feeling confused, uncertain, and even crazy.
What you can do to take back your power:
If you suspect that you are being gaslighted, it is important to reach out for help from a trusted friend or family member, your healthcare provider, or mental health professional.
Remember, you are not alone. There is always help available.
Final Thoughts
If you can relate to any of the above signs in your relationship, then it is possible that you are a victim of your partner’s gaslighting.
Remember, gaslighting is a form of abuse designed to control and disempower you.
If you suspect that you may be a victim of gaslighting, it is important to seek support from friends and family who can help validate your experiences and provide emotional support during this difficult time.
While gaslighting is often associated with intimate partner violence and domestic abuse, it can occur in any type of relationship — between family members, friends, coworkers, or even strangers.
It is important to seek out support from professional counselors who can help you through this time.
Additionally, there are many resources available online for those struggling with gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse which include support groups, online counseling, and self-help resources.
With time, patience, and determination, you will emerge from this experience stronger than ever before.
So keep fighting, stay strong, and never give up hope!
I wish you loads of love and feelings of being truly in love in your relationships.
“Tough times never last but tough people do.” — Dr. Robert Schuller
And Now Your Thoughts…
I want to hear your stories and perspective on this article. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section.
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