7 Thought Shifts That Will Make You Happier

Worrying is a huge waste of your precious time.

Sweating the small things in life is like waking up full of hope, then choosing to slap on a pair of cement shoes.

Who needs that?

Why make things more difficult than they are?

You just might be addicted to worry or living in a pattern of woe that has become your normal mode of operating.

It’s common for many people to structure their day around the things they can complain about or feel victimized by. Often, it’s a habit.

That comes from living in an anticipatory state, often expecting something bad to happen, even when things are actually going well.

That can’t be good.

“We live our lives as if they were one big emergency. We often rush around looking busy, trying to solve problems, but in reality, we are often compounding them.”

Richard Carlson—Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff)

If this is you, don’t fear. There’s a way out, a light at the end of the tunnel of doom you’ve chosen to venture through.

Decide. Good or bad, just decide.

It’s easy to get pulled into a spiral of stuckness or disinterest in life when you’re not able to finalize a decision.

Often called analysis paralysis, this is a state where you might spend a lot of time contemplating a choice, to the point of paralysis.

It can happen in small decisions, like choosing a paint color, but in bigger life decisions, going over the pros and cons may lead to an endless loop of thoughts that will eventually overwhelm you and keep you from any decision at all.

Being in a state of indecision

“prevents us from committing to our lives or taking actions that are important to us. We sit on the sidelines, fearful we’ll make the wrong decision, screw up, or end up deeply regretful. Our work suffers, our relationships wither, and our happiness diminishes” — Joe Oliver, PhD

Moving ahead with a decision frees your mind and moves you directly into adapting mode, where you start to think about what to do and make your action plan.

This takes the ho-hum and turns it into go-time.

Let bygones be bygones

Things are going to happen, but if you’re forever stuck in your negative trappings, old or recent, you’ll never feel at peace.

You need to acknowledge what's happening and call yourself out when you find yourself living in the wounds or bad circumstances of the past.

Any failures, shortcomings, or disappointments will not only paralyze you but stop you just short of living a life full of love and fulfillment.

If something unpleasant happens at work, once it’s over, it’s no longer a part of your day. Unless you carry it around with you. If you do that, it poisons everything else from that point on, and for what?

Unpleasant things are always going to make their way into your life, many times when you least expect them. Get comfy with that.

Don’t waste one more minute worrying about the inevitable.

Lose the need to be right

Not only is this unattractive, but the need to always be right is a burden and creates anxiety. Don’t spend your time obsessing about making your point. Even though it’s a natural part of our ego as humans, it’s selfish and leads to discontent.

Think of how relaxing it would be if you just had conversations that allowed others to speak their minds and elaborate on their opinion without the pressure of giving a counterargument.

Give people the joy of being right. Let a new opinion or comment stand. They will appreciate you more, and you will in turn become happier and more at peace instead of being indignant about validating your position.

Become a better listener

Here again, a chance to let go of ego and be patient. The interactions you have with others will dramatically improve when you listen and are mindful of how someone else feels.

When someone else is talking, be aware of whether you’re listening or just crafting your response and waiting for your turn to chime in.

“Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It’s being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.”

Richard Carlson — Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff)

When you let your walls down during a conversation and actively listen, you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll learn, but also how allowing yourself to be inspired by others and their thoughts will relax you and make you a more pleasant person.

It will open your mind.

Balance, balance, balance

If you’re a workaholic or a perfectionist, the idea of balance is likely a foreign concept.

If this resonates with you, you’re likely the person who has the pedal to the metal when there is work to be done, not even considering that pumping the brakes may be the best thing you can do for yourself.

When you don’t set boundaries for when your “work” ends, you’ll perpetually be in a constant state of doing instead of being.

That’s not good for anyone and it’s no way to live.

Commit to giving yourself time for family, nature, creativity, and good old-fashioned fun. Diminishing the constant pressure of doing will allow you a healthy reset and make you more well-rounded and happy.

Learn how to quiet your mind

Meditation, prayer, and visualization are all relaxation techniques that can help you recenter and get rid of negative thought patterns and let go of the old limiting, familiar stories.

It doesn’t take much, and doing it consistently will keep old negative thoughts or ideas from taking root and becoming a full-blown oak tree.

If you carve out time at the beginning of your day to be at the mercy of the creativity of your mind and cleansing thoughts, you can give yourself the best possible option for not dragging prior garbage into your day.

Old negative thoughts leave emotional residue on your mind and keep you from ever being able to start with a clean slate.

Start fresh.

Don’t take things personally. Ever.

When everything is about you, it’s impossible to maintain clear objective thought. It takes a lot out of you when you view your life as a result of things that have happened, rather than a result of your choices.

Any problems you have are an opportunity to learn a lesson. They are a source of new opportunities.

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” — Dalai Lama

The bottom line is the fewer hardships you have to contend with, the fewer opportunities you have to grow.

Growing is a good thing.

Final note: Your mood is in your control

You can do more than you think to control your daily mood.

Accept that life will have its ups and downs and that whatever you’re faced with on a given day, it’s in your control how it impacts you.

Your mood hugely affects your day and in turn, the quality of your life. If you’re in a low mood, things seem bad, and anything that happens is filtered through that sadness, making it a problem or an issue when it may not be.

Stop taking yourself so seriously and realize that your problems or issues become worse when your mood is down.

If you’re mindful of that, you can wait to discuss or address things that are troubling you until your mood is in a better place.

Then you’ll be able to make better sense of things.

You can definitely learn from your past, but always remember that it can’t get any better than it was. You’re kind of stuck with it, so there’s no point in wasting any time agonizing over it.

Make your today better by being aware of your mood, listening to others, and giving yourself a clean slate, unaffected by yesterday’s troubles.

Take off those cement shoes and opt for some comfy slippers.

Things will look better.

🎉 P.S. More midlife wisdom on 🔥 🎧 The Badass Midlife Podcast 🎧 🔥

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