7 Life Truths From a 29-Year-Old
Time keeps going, and we keep growing
Time seems to fly so quickly; maybe it does when you finally realize you’re now completely responsible for yourself and most of the things you once were dependent on others for — food, shelter, clothing, money, etc.
I turn 29 this year, and this means in the past 29 years I’ve had the privilege to experience life considerably. There are still a lot of experiences to have, places to travel, new people to meet. But so far, with two decades and 9 years, I’ve come to learn some things as life truths. These truths are drawn from personal experiences, both good ones and bad ones.
1. Live is meant to be lived, so just live it
Being on earth is a one-time opportunity to live. It’s a one-way ticket to all the best experiences you could have. I have learnt so far that there is no point holding back myself from having the best experiences on this one-way ride. There is no reason why I can’t do the things I want to and love to do whiles still caring for others. I have learned to not put aside or behind the things I want and would love to do because of other people's expectation of me. 29 years and I have learned to prioritize my time and activities around the things I loved to do; and not primarily around what others expect of me.
2. Memories are worth having, so create timeless ones
Certain harrowing and unfortunate events in my life have thought me that, when it all said and done, one of the most important things that we have left is memories. When the people we care about make it to the end of their designated runways, all that we have of them are memories. The good times we shared with them. Their funny remarks and the jokes they cracked when we were with them. The serious, life-changing conversation we had with them. Their support and presence when we were in our darkest period. Beautiful memories such as family get-togethers, a night out with friends or colleagues, will prove to be timeless when we no longer have the opportunity to repeat such experiences. In these moments, all that we really have of those experiences are the memories. These memories are richer and rewarding if we invested in them, invest in creating them now that we have time and strength.
3. Love people unconditionally
29 years in this world and I definitely understand why I have to love; to love without an expectation of reciprocity. Choosing to love in a unidirectional manner, safeguards me from disappointment and resentment when my kindness and generosity go unrequited.
I understand now that we love not because others love us. I do not love others because I expected them to love me back. I love others because loving others, my family, friends, fiancé, and even strangers make me a better person. Far beyond how it makes me feel like a good person, I feel happy when I can help others. The knowledge of having contributed somewhat to the well-being of someone with just a simple gesture of goodness and kindness does some good to my overall psyche.
4. Love yourself, and your health
29 years of living and I understand very much the need for a healthy lifestyle. If you want to live a happier and more fulfilling life, then you must love yourself. And if you truly love yourself as much as you may claim, then you will need to show it; and to show it means to live it out.
Now taking care of your health will include adopting a healthy lifestyle, engaging in some form of exercise routine, good diet routine, and paying attention to what your body is telling you every now and then. You’re going to have to have a regiment for visiting the doctor. A long and healthy living, with the best of experiences, demands you know what is going with your system and react to anything that is irregular. This will save you time, money and sustain your pleasure of life.
5. Love sometimes means walking away
One of the hardest and transforming events in my life these 29 years happened just last year. It has been dealing with letting go of someone I love, someone I truly and deeply care about; someone I have resolved to spend the rest of my life with.
This life lesson seems to tie into lesson #3. There is no reward to fighting to keep something you believe in if the other party involved is not ready to move the relationship in a mutual direction toward a common destination.
I know it’s banal, but it’s true that love is blind. When you’re in love with something or someone you turn to make irrational decisions even when it obvious that things are not working out; obvious that the dynamics of the relationship are not mutually beneficial.
On the matter of love, you may need to know when to switch from reasoning around it with your heart to reasoning with your head instead. The ability to restrain yourself from making certain decisions or moves purely based on how you feel about someone or something will save you a lot of pain and hurt. It will afford you valuable time to concentrate on making yourself better and becoming more of the person you ought to become.
A relationship will work best when you consider yourself as self-sufficient, independent and able to thrive without the other party. And your desire to have the other party in your life is founded broadly on the mindset that they will be an extension of the goodness and richness that already exists in your life. An expectation of somebody else to make you happy or complete you is a toxic mindset for any relationship, and it often turns out to be the grounds on which a relationship will drift apart.
You may need to walk away from a relationship or let your partner go when you notice they have such a mindset in the relationship.
6. Move out early when you can
The first time I moved out of my parent’s house was when I entered university. It was the first time I travelled 209 km away from my parent. It was my most unnerving experience, which also turned out to be one of my best experiences. My time away from my parent on-campus was my first genuine experience at independence and responsibility. I learned so much with this experience — managing my own calendar, learning to cook, sharing resources with roommates, learning to cohabitate with people coming from different cultural and economic backgrounds and so much more. I felt more aware and confident of my abilities; which also opened my mind to future opportunities and ambitions I had before then not considered.
Four years after I completed university, I made my next big moving out. I moved out into my very first rented apartment. And unlike my campus accommodation, I covered the rent myself and everything related to furnishing the space.
With these two major moving out experiences in my life, I learned that moving out early when you can financially set you up quite early in life than doing so later. Staying with parents or guardians may sound and even feel convenient, considering how little your input is in the day-to-day affairs of managing the home. But this convenience and lack of control become the underpinnings of your problems.
Living with family and not moving out early when you can, presents you with these problems
- You may become lax or even stagnant with your life
- You may not or be able to take initiatives towards being better
- You may compromise on your dreams and ambitions
- Family opinions on what-to-do become prominent in your decision making
- Your life calendar becomes filled with other people's agenda and not much of yours
- You may not get your family’s respect and their recognition of how much growth and transformation you’re experiencing.
7. Money is valuable, and it will take time and hard work to make enough
Money is an important commodity in this world. I’m sure you’ve heard the popular saying “Money makes the world go round”. Money, when you have enough, offers you a good life. Money is what takes care of school fees, health care, utility bills, recreational travels and many more. People respect money and money sprinkles value on your words.
These are nice things about money, but making enough to enjoy its perks takes time and hard work. It often takes a great deal of time management and discipline. It may take learning new skills and honing your existing skills. It may require you to build connections and relationships with other people.
To make enough money to sustain a good life, you will need to diversify your income streams. You’re going to need to learn to make money work for you. Making more money with money whiles you save yourself time for other pleasurable and rewarding activities. On account of this, I’m considering Medium as an additional income stream, whiles I explore and take advantage of other opportunities as well.
Final Words
These truths are not a complete list of all the life truths I have picked up this past 29 years. These are the life truths I believe are worth sharing with you at this moment because they sit at the fore of my consciousness and I considered them a lot in my day-to-day activities.
I hope you find them useful, as I have over the years.
Once again, let’s recap my life truths this past 29 years.
- Live is meant to be lived, so just live it
- Memories are worth having, so create timeless ones
- Love people unconditionally
- Love yourself, and your health
- Love sometimes means walking away
- Move out early when you can
- Money is valuable, and it will time and hard work to make enough