7 Fascinating Studies On Penis Size (If You Care About Penis Size)

#3: The nose knows your penis size.

Ok, let’s get this out of the way for the last and final time. Very few women care about penis size.

Don’t believe me? Then follow the money. If women cared about penis size, we would have an entire industry dedicated to men’s padded underwear. But we have not seen padded underwear since the Renaissance codpiece. And it’s doubtful that “penis push-up bras” will be trending any time soon.

Throughout history, many cultures have sighed a collective yawn over dick size. Stroll through any museum with Greek statues, and you won’t find any porn-sized dicks. There’s a reason for that — big dicks were not sexy. To the Greeks, the average was beautiful.

Not only were big dicks unattractive, but they were also ridiculed. The Greeks believed that sophisticated men had compact packages while only satyrs and sex addicts had big shlongs.

The above mural of the unfortunate Priapus is also not pornographic. According to Dr. Francesco Maria Galassi, Priapus has another painful condition, phimosis — an inability for the foreskin to retract. In other words, this well-endowed dude has the boner from hell. Not exactly titillating (unless my addition gives you a hankering for eggplant).

Unfortunately, we live in a society where big is viewed as better. Thus, scientists have thrown countless research dollars into studying penis sizes. (Good luck finding studies on the size of women’s genitals.)

Here are a few of the most interesting studies on penis size.

Fact or Fiction? The average erect penis length is approximately 5.16 inches (13.12 centimeters) and 4.59 inches (11.66 centimeters) in circumference.

First, let’s understand how researchers estimate penis size because measuring dicks all day is a thankless job. Unfortunately, they can’t just ask men — “how big is your one-eyed monster?” because some men have penis optimism. (Btw, “penis optimism” is not a scientific term. It’s called self-reporting bias. But you get the picture.)

To measure length, researchers stretch the flaccid penis and measure from the base of the pubic bone to the head of the penis. Girth is measured midshaft but must be done on an erect penis. (How doctors get patients to have boners while wearing a white lab coat and coming at them with a tape measure is best left to our imaginations. Like I said, thankless job.)

And for the record, urologists had to develop these penis measuring guidelines because many men believe they are below average in size when they are not. One study of over 15,000 men found that only 2 percent of the population have a penis that is smaller than average.

Sadly, body dysmorphia is not just a women’s issue.

Fact or fiction? Women prefer a slightly larger than average penis size.

According to a 2015 study, women’s preferred penis length was 6.4 inches (16.3 centimeters) with a circumference of 5.0 inches (12.7 centimeters) for a one-time sexual encounter.

For long-term relationships, they preferred a length of 6.3 inches (16.0 centimeters) with a circumference of 4.8 inches (12.2 centimeters). Apparently, women are willing to lose a bit if the guy can hold a conversation. Go figure.

But before you start measuring yourself, this study used 3-D printing to create penis models, and I question that methodology. Ladies basically had a detachable penis in their hands. And there is some scenery (fat pads, pubic hair, testicle size, skin color, etc.) that can influence size perception. In other words, the sword looks smaller without the soldier waving it.

Fact or Fiction? Certain body parts can determine penis size.

What do Ben Stiller, Adrien Brody, and Owen Wilson have in common? According to the recent research on big noses, they also have a big hose.

For this study, researchers again stretched a lot of flaccid penises. But this time, they stretched the penises of three-day-old corpses. (Like I said, thankless job.) They then compared the length of their stretched penises to body weight, testicle weight, height, nose size, and yes…shoe size.

The only body part that correlated with penis size was the size of his schnauzer. The findings indicate that penis size is most likely determined by birth.

Fact or Fiction? His race indicates penis size.

We all know the stereotype — Black men are more endowed while Asian men get the short end of the stick.

There’s only one problem. There’s a lot of dubious evidence to back this up. In a meta-analysis involving yet again…stretched penises, a man’s race was not a factor in determining size.

More interestingly, when researchers relied on self-reporting only, Latino men had the biggest dicks. Perhaps penis optimism is cultural.

Fact or Fiction? A penis pump will increase penis size.

When I was researching this article, my Facebook feed became riddled with penis pump ads. I can’t wait to see what is in my mailbox.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, I also got haunted by hilarious advertisements claiming apple cider vinegar will increase penis size. (I would provide a link, but I am not part of the apple cider dick enlargement affiliate program.)

So yeah, I will admit it. I doomscrolled through many scary advertisements claiming that you can pump your pecker up to the size of your leg.

Studies show that penis pumps help you get and maintain an erection, but they only make your penis larger if your penis has problems getting larger.

More alarmingly, one study found that 50% of men believed they could change their penis size by non-surgical means. And that’s a big no.

Fact or Fiction? Being overweight can make your penis smaller.

This one is sort of true. It’s not that gaining weight shrinks your dick; it’s that a protruding belly swallows up your penis.

In other words, the flagpole appears bigger if a hill doesn’t build up around the base.

Fact or Fiction? If men don’t have regular sex, their dicks will shrink.

I am ending with the scariest study because I want you crazy kids to have as much (safe) sex as possible. Because if you don’t…his dick might fall off. Ok, maybe “fall off” is a bit melodramatic, but it can shrink to as much as 1–2 centimeters. Yikes.

Without regular erections, the penis becomes less elastic, and then like a cold day after a long bike ride…you get the shrivels.

Erectile dysfunction leads to that loss of inches, and according to one study, erectile dysfunction is more common in men who do not have sex at least once a week.

You know what they say — use it or lose it.

When it comes to penis size, the Kama Sutra had the right idea. This ancient sex manual advised that penises should be sized to vaginas and vice versa. For example, men were categorized as hares (small), bulls (medium), or horses (large). Women’s genitals were categorized as deer (small), mares (medium), or elephants (large).

In other words, the car should fit the garage. It’s not a bad idea except for one factor— the vagina expands or contracts to fit the penis.

So, gentlemen, the bottom line is that these size studies may be interesting to scientists, but not to your partner.

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