Codpiece or Face Mask? The Solution to Men Who Won’t Wear Masks
Mask designers just need a little inspiration from history
When you love history as I do, you see it everywhere. So naturally, when looking at the latest protective face masks, I couldn’t help but see codpieces.
It got me thinking about how two pieces of garments can look so similar yet symbolize something completely different. The codpiece once represented manliness. But wearing a face mask (for some men) has become the epitome of femininity (aka weakness.) Perhaps the face mask just needs a little rebranding?
A brief history of the codpiece
Before underwear, men wore long hose unattached at the top under their doublets. But after too many ill-timed dismounts from horses, men needed a better solution to not flash their bits. Enter the codpiece. These first coverings consisted of a simple flap of cloth tied to each side of the hose. (See pic above)
The codpiece’s original purpose was modesty and protection. But by the sixteenth century, it thrust itself into fashionably elite circles with far more bling. By then, most codpieces were adorned with jewels, fur, ribbon, and padding.
All that extra engorgement sometimes hid more than just his manhood. Codpieces also doubled as a man purse for coins, small weapons, snuff, and jewels. (Thus the term “family jewels.”) Ladies — if you thought high-heels were uncomfortable, imagine walking around with quarters in your underwear.
How codpieces could inspire face mask fashions
Here are my favorite codpieces that I hope will inspire designers to erect a manlier mask.
Oh, a swirly one. How cute. Hold that thought. The backward-curved shape was a protective talisman to ward off syphilis.
Fashion tip: Fashion designers could make masks adorned with similar good luck charms. An annoyed dog posing with your mask is optional.
In the above painting, Charle V’s codpiece resembles a bifurcated croissant. This shape symbolized the Turks’ stricter morality. Unlike their European neighbors, the Turks had more abstemious attitudes toward sex. (Seeing a syphilitic patient’s nose fall off will do that.) So while it may seem like Charles is advertising his masculinity, he is really emphasizing fidelity over virility.
Charles V’s codpiece also points downward. This may have been to prevent embarrassing erections. (Someone let me know if that works?)
Fashion tip: Because masks need to celebrate masculinity, fashion designers might want to avoid the croissant shaped mask.
At first, I thought Lodovico’s codpiece was a sword, but on closer inspection… I see it is heavy artillery of another nature. (That was the last bad pun…maybe.) Either way, Ludovico should smile more because that’s a codpiece you can hang your hat on.
This armored codpiece did serve a purpose. Just think what a sword at your waist could do if it accidentally rubbed in the wrong direction?
Fashion tip: While I have seen mostly cloth masks, perhaps if face masks get to this level of hardness, they might be adopted by more manly men.
No discussion of codpieces is complete without the king of virility, Henry VIII.
Historians have long debated the purpose of his puffy codpiece. Was it to advertise his machismo or to hide the nastiness going on in his nether regions? This kind of pillowy codpiece often disguised the gooey medications used to cure syphilis. You certainly didn’t want a mercury salve/lard mixture staining your brocade. Henry VIII never used mercury, but he was a fan of guaiacum — another syphilis and gout remedy.
Fashion tip: Just think how masks could hide oozing body fluids? You might think you won’t get a date with snots streaming out of your nose unless…you wear a puffy face mask.
And isn’t a little mystery half the fun of covering yourself?
