6 Tips to Live a Clutter-Free Life with Kids
The benefits of minimalism with children
My husband and I have a home that is almost always relatively clean and tidy. Sometimes we get big messes, but it is always swift and easy to tidy up when we do. We sit on the couch and watch tv at the end of the day in a completely clutter-free home. Did I mention we also have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old?
It wasn’t always like this.
Up until a year ago, our house was filled with clutter. We had so much stuff, yet we couldn’t ever seem to find what we needed. The clutter spilled out onto all surfaces of the home. I would often literally cry, completely overwhelmed with how consumed we were by our stuff.
And it was mostly our kids’ stuff.
Then the pandemic hit, and we found ourselves home in 6 months of lockdown here in Melbourne, Australia. That was the last straw. At least before the pandemic, I could take the kids out every day and leave the stuff. Now we were stuck to face it all day, every day, and I had enough.
That’s when I researched minimalism, and we decided to work on our own form of minimalism. We used the lockdown to create a life that we liked that was less consumerist.
Why minimalism? Well, I think it is beneficial for children because:
- The house stays cleaner for longer and is quicker to clean, so the whole family can spend more time playing together,
- Children who own less become more creative as they can find different ways of using different items, and they have more space to explore their imagination,
- A tidy and minimal house is a calmer space for everyone so children can find it easier to find calm places at home, and
- Minimalism puts value on only keeping things that you really use and need and looking after your items. I think that is a great lesson to teach kids.
So here are the 6 tips we have incorporated to keep our home clutter-free.
Please note: you’ll need to assess if these tips are age-appropriate for your kids. For example, when we started, my son wasn’t two yet, and he didn’t understand a lot of this, but we are just starting to reinforce it with him. My daughter was three and a half when we started, and she understood everything. So when you see the examples, I refer to our children a lot, but the eldest obviously had the most impact while the little one is still learning it all.
1. Give your children ownership over what they declutter.
Decluttering is a lifelong skill. It is not something that a human innately possesses from birth. Rather, decluttering is something that a parent must teach their child. Therefore, a parent should declutter on behalf of their child.
I want my kids to declutter their possessions because I want to see them from their perspective. I wouldn’t like it if someone came and took away my possessions on my behalf, and I don’t think it is fair for us parents to do it to our children.
So give your children ownership over what they declutter. Help them out by asking helpful questions such as: Which 5 toys do you think you could never part with? Which toys do you think you have outgrown? Are there any toys you have multiples?
Definitely guide your children, but ultimately, leave the decisions up to them
2. Model decluttering to your children.
One of my favourite quotes from my favorite parenting book, A Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn Ross, is: ‘Be the hero you wish to see in your children.’ This quote basically guides me in my parenting, and decluttering is no exception. Leading by example and living the life you want your kids to live is the best way to teach them.
When I declutter my own things, I always involve my kids somehow. For example, I love reading books and have quite a collection, but recently when I wanted to cull it down, I told my kids what I was doing and why. I’ll say, “I have so many books that I can’t fit new ones on the shelves, so I need to remove at least 5. Can you help me decide?”
Think about it: as adults, we get rid of things we don’t need all the time. We do it without talking about it, and our kids don’t take notice. However, by talking about it and vocalising your reasoning, you are setting a fantastic example for your children.
3. Model the act of taking care of your possessions.
This point is very similar to the above in the idea of leading by example. However, this one is more about how you look after your possessions.
I must admit, this one is absolutely the hardest one for me because I was not the tidiest person growing up. I was prone to leaving my things anywhere and losing them. Even now, as a grown-up, when I get home from a long day at work, there is nothing I like better than just flinging off my shoes by the door and relaxing immediately.
But I can’t expect my children to take care of their possessions if they don’t see me take care of my own things. So I really make a concerted effort to put things away immediately and tidy as I go.
Like point number two above, I also try to vocalise this as much as possible. For example, if my kids ask to play with me as soon as I get home, I’ll usually say, “Yes, but first I want to put my boots away. They are my favourites, and I don’t want to leave them out where they could get damaged”. Sometimes I feel ridiculous speaking like that, but again, kids really don’t notice these small things. Narrating your actions allows your kids to understand why it is important for them to look after their things.
4. Set ‘decluttering days’ in the year.
You can set your days whenever you like throughout the year, but the ‘decluttering days’ in our house are Christmas Eve and the weekends before birthdays. We mark them on the calendar and talk about them in the lead-up to know when to expect them.
We always explain the purpose of decluttering before these events are because we are about to receive gifts and get more possessions, and we can’t accept the gifts if we don’t have a place for them. We don’t declutter after the event because our children are too overexcited and overwhelmed with the festivities and are less likely to co-operate with letting go.
Try to make it fun where you can. For example, we have a special bag we had made for Santa to take our old toys to give to other children. The bag came out on Christmas Eve, and our children filled it while we talked about how excited the other children will be when they receive these toys and clothes as gifts. This works so well for Christmas 2020; we are looking forward to making it our annual tradition.
5. Have a place for everything.
“A place for everything and everything in its place.”
A cliched phrase that honestly rings true.
If you don’t set designated spots for your kids’ belongings, how can they put them away? Yes, you can have your children decide where things go, but you need to make the ultimate decisions of how everything in the house should be organised for two reasons:
- It’s your house, and you should decide how it looks. It is ok for you to want an aesthetically pleasing home and
- Children (especially young children) don’t understand how to assign places for items for ultimate function logically.
We moved house three months ago, and the first thing my husband and I did when we got the keys to the new rental was walking around and decide where everything should go before we even packed our old house. We got my parents to babysit, and we worked out where all the big furniture items should go if our existing toy storage would work in the space and what storage solutions we needed. We researched what we needed on the spot. Then we stuck pieces of paper everywhere explaining where everything was going to go, which actually made a move much easier.
We did this because we never REALLY had a place for everything at our old house, even after adopting minimalism. We just put things where ever they seemed to fit. It was disorganised and made it impossible to keep the house tidy.
Being proactive about it meant that tidying over the last three months has been really easy. My kids know where everything goes and don’t even need to ask me where to find anything—even my two years old knows.
I’m not suggesting you have to move to organise your space. Instead, you could have the kids away for a weekend and go through the whole floor plan and decide what is working and what isn’t working. What storage solutions do you need to buy? Do you need to label anything?
Spend time making a home for everything, and the reward will be huge.
6. Have firm rules and clear boundaries.
This tip is for raising children in general, and I always set very clear rules and boundaries for my children. As I’ve noticed as a teacher: all children thrive with the firm, respectful boundaries. Yes, they like to push the boundaries and test you, but having rules makes children feel secure.
Our family boundary regarding clutter is: you MUST put your things away in the correct spot and look after them. If you don’t put your things away, it tells me you don’t really care about them. Therefore, any stuff left around the house gets given away.
So far, my husband and I haven’t had to do this. Once my daughter refused, I repeated our boundary, got a plastic bag, and started putting all of her things she left around the house. She immediately got upset and promised she would tidy up, so I gave her things back. Since that day, she always puts her things away. I need to remind her of the family boundary often, but she puts her things away once she gets the reminder.
Sticking to firm boundaries makes the house run smoother.
Again, my husband and I are fair, and if we leave our things around the house, our children are welcome to the point that out. My daughter has done so several times. In that instance, I always say, “Thank you for reminding me. Yes, I want to keep this, and I will put it away now.” We have the same rules as our children.
Keeping a house tidy and clutter-free is difficult for any parent. The amount of crap you find around the house is astounding. But hopefully, one or more of these tips can help you spend less time tidying and more time enjoying yourselves as a family.
