6 Things You Can Do To Trigger a Narcissistic Rage
Proven ways how to expose and injure a narcissist.
Have you ever encountered a narcissist? Not a pleasant experience, is it? I was “lucky” enough to survive an encounter with a covert narcissist.
Who is a covert narcissist you may ask?
The covert narc is far more dangerous than a pompous. Not only because they are harder to spot, but also because they are more easily triggered into what’s known as ‘narcissistic rage’, which drives them to take spectacular revenge.
Covert narcissists love to play the “victim” and are expert manipulators. Quite often they wish to present themselves to others as somewhat depressed, victimized, poor. But that’s a facade that they like to keep up in order to protect their true nature.
Since the moment I met the narcissist in my life, I knew something wasn’t quite right about them. Perhaps it was the constant smiles when there was no need to smile. Or perhaps the sudden reliance on me with their own responsibilities or the frequent re-appearance in my personal life, when it's none of their business.
Little did I know I was dealing with a very dangerous creature who was ready to go to lengths to cause havoc in my life — however unsuccessfully. How have I fought this “narcissist”?
By not giving in to her malicious game and keeping my head cool, and following a strong defence strategy.
If you’ve ever known a narcissist, then you are already well aware that there are things you can say to trigger narcissistic rage. And my guess is that you already know how easily narcissists can lose control of their emotions.
The concept of narcissistic rage is very important. Narcissistic rage is what we see when they don’t get what they want, or when people don’t treat them differently than others. It can also happen when a narcissist’s sense of entitlement is threatened.
They get angry to bully or coerce you into giving them what they want. And, when this doesn’t work well enough, they’ll often switch to a similar tactic where they slip into victim mode.
Below are my 6 techniques that helped me survive a narcissistic attack in my life and get them to leave me alone (for some time).
1. Give them exactly what they deserve — nothing.
Don’t engage with a narcissist. If unfortunately there are reasons which oblige you to keep in touch with them, keep it to a minimum. Narcs crave attention.
By not responding to their senseless emails, texts or calls, you are finally telling them they don’t control you and you are going to live your life as you please, without them. Go and ignore the incessant texting.
It will destroy them and make them lose control over their emotions. Soon, you will see them again, threatening you. Let them try.
When you notice a narc showing off their symptoms, you can also share links to articles that provide information about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) with a comment “FYI” or “read this”. This will trigger a narcissistic injury and cause them to retreat.
2. Take control of your own life.
Quite often narcs don’t just go away. They go into a so-called “remission”. You may not hear from them so often, but once in the while, they will again send you another senseless email.
They hate losing control of the situations and of other people.
Taking control of your own life and building a future, without the narc, is going to cause a severe injury, as they will feel an overwhelming sense of powerlessness.
When they realize that you have lived a life without them, they may erupt in explosive rage and seek revenge. They go to great lengths to get your attention back — don’t give in.
3. Don’t ever explain your actions.
If you knew a narc you know often they are delusional. Their entire world is formed around delusional thinking. They have to keep any less-than-perfect aspects of their lives so carefully hidden and work so hard to create a perfect version of themselves that they need to have a belief in that version.
Narcissists are great at lying, cheating, and fact distortion.
If you ever feel you have to try to defend yourself, you’ll no doubt be accused of various things you didn’t do. Never explain yourself to a narc, they will twist everything you say, anyway.
You have no obligation to explain yourself to them or anyone else. If you give them nothing, then they have nothing.
4. Set the rules and abide by them.
If you have to deal with a narcissist, be stern about what you will tolerate and what not. Always set boundaries when talking to a narc. When a narc threatens or badmouthing you, draw a line and tell them that if such actions continue, they will face consequences.
Narcs don’t believe in consequences, somehow they “believe” that they can get away with things and actions. Well, make sure that they don’t.
If a narcissist’s aggressive behaviour continues, refuse to engage in further interaction, no matter what they do or say. If things get serious, report them to the authorities. The more people stand up to narc and take action, the better.
5. If you can, ignore them completely.
If there are no children or other obligations connecting you to the narc, the solution is easy —go no contact. Remove the leech from your life and never look back. They never existed anyway.
Narc is actually a very insecure little creature that is constantly looking for validation that they matter. Remove all validation. They don’t matter.
6. Move on and/or move away — even better.
Narcs have two personalities — their false self, on the outside charming, and their true self which is highly manipulative and often very toxic, unable to love, feel empathy.
Their entire life is devoted to a farce whereby the false self camouflages their real self.
If anything threatens their false self they react to it with rage and will do anything to defeat this threat — denial, bullying, refuting of the facts, lying. They can return to normality very quickly, with nothing more said on the matter and act as if nothing ever happened.
The biggest rage will come when you stop feeding them and arguing with them. Just cut them off your life, cut them off without any reaction because that is what they live on. When you see your ex narcissist trying to get attention from you just walk away hand in hand with your new partner.
The worst nightmare for them is you leaving them before they discard you, that's when they are really injured. Go on and live a happy life, free from abuse. The biggest injury you can inflict and the greatest gift you give to yourself is moving on and moving away, far, far away from the narcissist.
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