6 Mild Questions To Ask Yourself if Everyone Keeps a Safe Distance From You
When loneliness becomes a practice, it occupies you, despite the seasons.
I’ve recently come to realize: what we feel is a universal emotion.
The world envelopes in October. Days become shorter and loneliness kicks in. In the fall, weird things happen. Here’s a continuous pattern I have been exploring for some time:
- Medium becomes dry
- People write less
- Engagement becomes low
- People are no longer uplifting
Whatever we feel is a universal emotion. We all feel lazy, happy, and excited at the same time. Blame it on the universe’s rotation or perhaps astrology.
The slow, uneasy feeling frightens everyone when balls rotate in winter. Even with Halloween and Christmas, our hearts pound. Ever wondered why?
We, humans, hate adversity. Winter guarantees we live alone, in our small condo, without anyone. The dry season scares us. But this isn’t the last time winter is coming. If you want to fetch your life back on track, this article is for you.
Below are 6 questions to ask yourself when life becomes uneasy. Let’s get started!
1. Am I ready to let go of the seasons?
We all have personal vendettas with seasons.
We treasure summer. For the summer to arrive, we can’t endure the winter season. In school, many people felt lonely in winter. They cried, drifted into depression, and lifted the dark doorway to their heart. Winter is not your enemy.
People prepare for summer in winter by:
- Shaping their body: exercise, workout, lifting weight
- Making a resume to apply: for new jobs
- Enrolling in a course: learning something new
- Starting new habits: meditation, writing, drinking more water.
Improve yourselves. Instead of saying your life is boring, find a way to buff things up. Start a few habits for 6 months until the summer arises. That’s your challenge.
2. Can I control my feelings?
What’s your weakness? I’ll start with mine: doing wrong.
I am a perfectionist. I prefer things to go my way. This way, I hurt my feelings and of course, the other person’s. What I feel might be a connected feeling.
If I feel lonely and sad looking at those icy cold trees, I am sure my parents, parents, sisters, and friends must be. Isn’t it time I do something about it? That’s when I did something.
Activity: Make a chit of activities and thrust it into a mason jar. Now, each week, allow yourself to lift one slowly. My activities included:
- Surprise my friends with my visit
- Buying something for my parents
- Change the shape of my room (I will explore this in point 3)
- Learning a new language
- Visit some other places: Montreal/Mexico
Above are the exciting things I planned for each week/month. By using this, you can control your feelings for other people when you have planned before.
3. How do I feel about adversity?
The cause of loneliness, according to Stoics, is because of the following:
- Overthinking scenarios
- Doing less of what sparks inside of you
- Unhealthy relationship
- Your ego
When loneliness becomes a practice, it occupies you, despite the seasons. The opposite of loneliness is exciting.
To combat your loneliness; you must do something exciting and tiring. Adversity is a pretty tricky problem. If you feel it’s taking control over you, apply these scenarios:
For example:
- Change your location: each time you shift your condo or house, make sure you change it to Nov/December. Divert your thoughts into turning and nothing else.
- Change your condo’s outlook: A economical option is changing your room’s appearance. I do this every time. Change the placement of your bed or dressing table.
- Clean your closet: Black Friday sales and Halloween sales have good stuff. Make sure to declutter your closet and buy new or second-hand items.
Spend your days without grief using these 3 tiring+ exciting scenarios.
4. How to get out of this loop?
Once or twice is okay. If loneliness hits you every year means at least spoiling 6 (good) months.
Dale Carnegie says:
“Keep busy. It’s the cheapest medicine on this earth — and one of the best.”
Occupy yourself with stuff. Unlike being busy, stay active. 2–3 years with this pattern will allow you to combat winters.
- Don’t: whatever habits you follow, stay away from binge-watching Netflix. Many people start dating apps and end up making themselves unfortunate.
- Do: I recently started a small business venture. Luckily, small businesses have a lot to do, from creating websites, logos, audiences, etc.
Start a cool passive income option. Create cupcakes or cookies for starters. Use this link to create a free website or your Facebook page to attract clients.
5. How can I improve?
I asked my mom one day.
“Am I fat?”
She said:
“My little girl, you’re beautiful.”
I again responded:
“I asked if I am fat, not ugly.”
She stared at me for a minute. Thank God our pizza order guy arrived, and she thanked God inside for her heart. I tested this question on my dad and brother, who had nothing to say.
My dad came one night and said:
“We never thought there was any shred of anything you could improve. You’re perfect. Also, one’s beauty is enough to highlight any blemishes.”
Nobody is perfect.
Let’s accept the fact that even celebrities don’t look good. That’s the credit of the lens and camera.
- Affirm yourself. Look at yourself as perfect; that’s how other people will respect you.
- Be thankful to God. Most people don’t even make it into this world, let alone have the conscience to thank.
Feeling bad about yourself is a hollow feeling. To combat that, read Holy Scripts and self-help books, meditate, and never, for once, disregard yourself.
6. How do I feel about slowing down?
If you combine fall- winter: it’s almost a half year.
If you feel lonely or have a lack of enthusiasm to work, you are wasting 6 months of your life. The gap will adversely affect your rhythm. Instead, take it slow. It’s better to put 1 coin daily in a basket rather than putting no cash in it.
Many people make mistakes in their career choices, especially when they know the result. Upon asking, the reply: it sounds fun.
Of course, it does when you can live 150 years. Our time in this world is short.
The time you waste overthinking is not good. Instead, take it slow. Here are some ways you can take it slow without quitting:
- “Out of stock” your website: never delete a website. Stock everything out and write “coming soon.”
- Schedule things: use Calendly to schedule appointments.
- Say no to things: “yes” is always tricky. After saying no, you can hold up to the commitment by saying, “I made it”
Use these strategies to take things slow. But never quit!
Final thoughts:
Marcus Aurelius always saw the good in bad people. That is one of the reasons for him being the top roman leader.
To follow in his footsteps: see good in yourself.
Life will become uneasy if it’s not yet. Learn how to fight it without swords and shields.
Meet life in a barefaced front-to-front situation, and see it losing control over you.
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