I Love Your Big Belly Mom

Part 1: Why I Bought a Bikini

Like many women I have spent years (at least 25 out of my 36 years) agonizing over what my body looks like. I scrutinize how my clothes fit before I leave the house. I have not bought a bikini in 10 years because I didn’t feel my body was good enough to be seen in one.

I am the founder of code.likeagirl.io, a space that celebrates breaking down society’s perceptions of how women are viewed in technology. I also believe we need to change society’s perception of how girls and women should view their body.

I have spent years showing my daughter that science and technology are cool, fun, and interesting things to do and study. I keep telling her that she can do anything she wants.

I have not told her she should be ashamed of herself in a bikini, or scrutinize herself in a mirror before leaving the house, but I am sure she has learned it from me. If I want her to be happy with her body no matter her size, if I want her to be confident of who she is no matter what she is wearing, then I am going to have to show her how it is done. She will only believe my words if they are backed up by action. I have to show her how to love her body by showing her how I love mine.

What am I going to do about it?

Step up and make changes.

Mirror Game

I have started playing a game with her whenever she uses the mirror in my bedroom. We look at ourselves in the mirror and choose the things we love about ourselves. Sometimes she is a bit shy about it. If that happens I don’t make a big deal about it. We change the game and find things about each other we love. A while ago we did this. I told her I love her smile because it makes me happy. Then she came over, gave me a huge hug and said.

Mom I love your big belly. It’s so nice to hug.

My first reaction was to think “She thinks I have a big belly…” But I didn’t vocalize it. I checked my negative thinking at the door and responded with a huge smile and said “Oh honey, thank you that makes me so happy.” Now she tells me all the time how she loves my big belly. Each time I cringe a little less at the word “big” and smile a little more at the word “love” because my beautiful little girl accepts me as I am and I should too. My daughter sees my beauty, not my flaws, I am learning a good lesson from her.

The Beach

We are headed to New Zealand this winter to visit my Kiwi husband’s family and I needed a new swim suit. After seeing so many body love posts on facebook by Jes Baker I decided it was time to try out a bikini.

This was a terrifying thought.

I realized that it has been 10 years since I bought and wore a bikini. That is a long time to be ashamed of your body.

Why has it been so long?

Eight years ago I had a baby, a big 9 pound 13 oz baby. I didn’t want anyone to see my newly acquired stretch marks and the new shape of my belly. For the last 8 years I have lived with that thought. That no one should see these marks, no one should see my big mommy belly.

It is time

It is time to put aside those beliefs. My daughter, husband and extended family loves me. They do not care about my mommy belly. They probably love it even more because my sweet girl came out of it.

I am going to rock that bikini on the beach. I will be terrified, but I will also be comfortable. I will show my daughter that she can be comfortable too.

If you like this post, don’t forget to recommend and share it. Let’s start showing our children and ourselves how to love our bodies.

Find out what happened after I bought the bikini!