GLOBETROTTER’S JULY CHALLENGE

When I Faced My Fears and Did the One Thing I Never Wanted To Do

And sat crying on the ship

I was once asked if there was anything in life I wouldn’t do. It was a time in my life when I was constantly on the move. Doing things, exploring new countries, and being active. From jumping off a bridge to rafting in a dangerous river, I didn’t say no to any of the activities.

But when I was asked if there was something I would not dare to do, I had an answer. Even though I stay with the saying “never say never” because who knows what is ahead of us, I was sure this was the one thing I would never do.

Scuba diving.

While I was a confident swimmer, growing up with asthma, I had my issues breathing here and there and certainly didn’t fancy being meters below the water's surface and suddenly struggling to breathe.

Fast forward a couple of years a lot had changed. I wasn’t solo traveling anymore, I was in a relationship and decisions were being made as a team.

The one dream David had and really wanted to do was to learn scuba diving. And sure, there was no problem with just him doing the course while I’d go paddling, rock climbing, or do whatever else.

But he insisted I would give it a try. He said, without trying how should I know if I like it or not? I’d respond with my fear of being underwater and not being able to breathe and he’d say, at least join the pool session where the training course would start.

And while I often hate him for not forcing but convincing me to try things, he’s darn right about it.

It was 2019 and we were living and working in Thailand at the time when we took a 2-week holiday to go to the island of Koh Tao and learn how to scuba dive.

I booked us into Sairee Cottage which had an on-site dive center. Staying just meters away from the beach, we spend the first day relaxing on the beach and getting familiar with the surroundings.

As we work in tourism ourselves, we can only take leave during the low season which is amazing for traveling. There was only one other student in the course and next to the dive instructor, we had one more experienced dive master who was busy doing her training on becoming a PADI dive instructor. A ratio of 2 instructors to 3 students is rare in the diving community but exactly what I needed.

The theoretical part wasn’t an issue but already then when we spoke about the different skills we had to perform, I knew I would not go out on the ocean, dive 10 meters below the surface, and remove my mask.

Why on earth would I want to do that?

But first things come first and there we were on our knees in the pool. I lasted about three seconds with my head down before I swallowed the first load of pool water and gasped for air.

That was when I started getting one on one coaching. The instructor proceeded with David and the other guy below while the girl (instructor-to-be) immediately surfaced with me trying to calm me down and telling me once again how to breathe below.

It was still all good. I was only in knee-deep water and could raise my head above whenever necessary. Slowly but surely I got used to breathing through the diving mask and stayed for the duration of the exercises down below.

The afternoon went well and we continued into the deeper section of the pool where I now got problems with equalizing my ears while David was doing flips all around me. He used to free dive a lot back in Namibia and is certainly a natural down below.

While I wasn’t the best student and needed a lot of attention, I proceeded through the pool sessions with success thanks to two amazing instructors having lots of patience.

The following day, we were heading out onto the ocean for our first dive out in the open and while David was excited and happy like a child on Christmas day, I was tense, nervous, and certainly a bit scared.

After getting all the gear on and doing all the necessary checks before going down, I was the last one to step at the edge of the boat and needed a little push from behind to get off the safety of the boat.

I did as instructed and gave the hand signal back up saying I was fine. As fine as I could be miles out of my comfort zone.

We were descending holding onto a rope and while the others had reached the bottom of the ocean within a few seconds, I stayed a meter below the surface busy equalizing my ears. Together with the girl, the instructor-in-training.

On this first dive, I can’t remember which skills we needed to do but I remember all I was focusing on was breathing as calmly as I could and staying right next to the other instructor.

I don’t remember seeing any fish, coral or anything exciting down below. I was too occupied with myself. And with breathing.

As we got back to the boat, I remember seeing David’s sparkling eyes as he had so much fun and enjoyed this moment he had been waiting for so long so much. I didn’t want to ruin his moment but when he asked ‘how was it’, I burst into tears.

All the stress fell off my shoulders.

It was horrible. I didn’t enjoy being down below. I was stressed, exhausted, and drained from the diving session. I didn’t want to do the second dive. He calmed me down and said I don’t have to.

I remember when we told the instructors I wouldn’t join for the second dive they were taken by surprise as they said I performed so well they certainly didn’t expect this. However, of course, they didn’t force me and said I can stay on the boat.

This is where I now watched the others getting ready for the next dive while I could relax my body and mind.

Back on land in the resort, we had a long chat with the instructors who wanted to know the why and how. They offered me to get another hour of training in the pool the next morning before the course would start with the next two open water dives.

For some reason, I did agree to it. The next morning, I had a two-on-one pool session where more skills got practiced and I had time to slowly adjust to the environment down below.

We all headed out on the boat and I joined for the first dive. Today was the day we had to remove our mask on the ocean floor, let go of it, retrieve it and inhale again. The moment the instructor pointed at me, I shook my head. I completed all the other tasks but not this one.

I also went on the second dive where I did the rest of the tasks and skills required for the license. Always in a one-on-one coaching situation with the other girl.

Together with her, we went on a third short dive, descended just to the shallow waters where I was just going to do the one task missing. Removing the mask. I breathed for about five minutes normally staring at her before I was ready for it.

I made it.

I did complete the course and got my PADI open water license. It was a long, challenging, and certainly exhausting journey for me which I wouldn’t have completed if it wasn’t for the two amazing instructors showing so much effort, time, and patience.

A few months later, on a different vacation to the islands of Koh Chang and Koh Kood, we then booked our first fun dive.

While I was still slow in descending due to problems with equalizing my ears, I now did enjoy the underwater world below and almost smiled when we saw a turtle.

I’m far from getting distracted and holding a camera underwater which is what David is doing with no problems but I’m able to enjoy myself seeing all the fish.

While it wasn’t our intention not to dive anymore, we simply didn’t get the chance to do it and so four years have gone past when we arrived in Mozambique and hadn’t done a dive since Thailand.

Not having been for so long in the water, I signed us up for a refresher course. More for me than for David as I needed to prepare myself for this. Again.

There I was.

Back again. On the ocean floor. Staring at all those cables, buttons and pipes and not knowing how I actually got there. But, this time not letting so much time between dives, I learned a lot on the dives in Mozambique and even had my first little success when I wasn’t the first one in the dive group running low on air showing my air consumption is now more controlled and stable.

Not sure if you’ll ever get to see a relaxed version of my face underwater but from “things I’ll never do” I turned into a diver and actually enjoy being among countless fish…

This is a writing prompt response to Globetrotter’s monthly challenge. ‘Action’ is the theme of July and you still have a few days left (until July 28th) to submit your own entry. Read the submission guidelines and inspiration below:

This was my first response to the prompt:

There was someone else writing about diving. John Loewen had a very special experience while on a diving trip:

And two others wrote about their unique snorkeling experiences, Sh*t Happens - Lost Girl Travel is one of them, never shy of telling the truth:

Adrienne Beaumont isn’t the youngest one anymore but age doesn’t stop her and she won’t say no to any snorkeling adventure. Read about her latest trip:

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