Moving Close to My Grandkids Was the Best Decision I Ever Made
And I’ve made a couple of doozies
Life is a series of decisions. Some are small like what colour socks are you going to wear today. Others are bigger like what make of car are are going to buy.
Then there are life-changing ones like whether you should ask this woman to marry you. Unfortunately, many have come to regret that decision. I’m not one of them.
This article is not about my wife. It’s about my grandchildren. But it starts with a decision to marry her.
Twenty-seven years ago, my girlfriend, Kristen, told me that she was pregnant. I wasn’t happy as I was finishing up my studies and I wasn’t sure that I wanted her to be my wife and the mother of my children. As much as I wanted to be a father, I hadn’t planned to be one with her.
Over the months I got used to the idea of being a dad and was excited about the prospect. But I was an idealist. My plans were to finish school, get married, then start a family. The order was shuffled with the pregnancy. I also didn’t want to be a part-time dad, moving the kids between homes and making decisions with their mom over the phone.
I wanted the mother of my children to be my wife. So, I decided to open my heart to Kris. I decided to love her and in doing so I fell in love with her and asked her to marry me. At the time that was the best decision I had ever made.
She was a pregnant bride. Three months later we were parents.
Let’s fast-forward twenty-four years. Our oldest daughter, Thandiwe, has our first grandchild, Dakota. She lives over a thousand kilometres away, in another province. Kristen and I had always said that once we had our first grandchild, we would move to be close to him. We thought about it then but decided against it. The timing just didn’t seem right for reasons I won’t get into here. Thank goodness for Facetime as we were able to see Dakota every week and he was able to recognize us over time. But seeing him only twice a year wasn’t cutting it.
Three years later, they have their second child, our second grandchild. Rosalie is born in 2022. She is so precious. Again, the desire to be near them strengthens.
Dakota was growing up so quickly. Even though we’d seen him grow through Facetime, we still feel like we’ve missed a lot. He is going to start playing soccer or t-ball or doing short recitals in whatever. We will miss those if we’re not nearby.
So we made the decision to move. We sold our house, said bye to family, friends, coworkers, our church, and neighbours and travelled over 1,200 km eastward to Nova Scotia.
This was the best decision I ever made.
We’ve been here for three weeks and it’s been a blast. We bought a house close by but not too close to be a bother. We wanted to be close enough that it would be easy for the grandkids to be dropped off. We see Dakota and Rosalie regularly. Dakota loves coming over to Nana and Tata’s house, and Rosalie smiles big when she sees us.
I miss what we built in Ontario. I had strong relationships and was active in the community. But I would give it all up again. I now understand what people mean when they say that there is nothing like being a grandparent.
They’re right.
Looking back on my life, it is easy to ponder on the choices I made and how they’ve led to this point. The college I picked; the job I chose; the promotion I took; the friends I hung out with; the city I lived in, etc, all had a part in my being here.
At this moment, two stand out.
- The decision to marry Kristen.
- The decision to move to be near our grandkids.
We have three married children. The other two don’t have any children yet. One lives a five-hour drive away in New Brunswick while the other is back in Ontario. They’re spread out.
For now, I don’t have to concern myself with those decisions. I made this one and it was a good move.
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