5 Ways Swinging Will Bring You and Your Partner Closer

The Lifestyle is meant to bring you closer not further apart

Entering into the Lifestyle is not a decision to take lightly. Making the leap involves a lot of heavy conversations about what you both want out of it. A couple has to decide their boundaries, needs, desires, and hard rules. This requires a couple to look inward and really establish what it is that they want in their journey.

For most couples, choosing to add more people into the mix is both exhilarating and can be scary. The truth is not every committed couple will be able to hack it in the world of swinging. Jealousy is very likely to come up when you first start out, but if you can get over these hiccups, swinging is actually meant to bring you closer to each other and not further apart.

Deep Level Conversations

Can you remember the last time you had an hour-long conversation with your spouse? What about two, three or four hours? When was the last time you laid together in a post-coital cocoon and laughed and reminisced about something you just did? If you are a swinger, you probably can say you’ve done all of these things recently.

Swinging forces you both to constantly check in with each other to make sure that both of you are comfortable and content. This is typically done before a meet, during, and after. Keeping the lines of communication open will help to eliminate any feelings of jealousy, anger, or miscommunication. By doing this, it tends to carry over to other parts of your life. Many swinging couples tend to have a higher than average ability to express themselves with their partner. This translates into deeper connections and thus brings you that much closer.

Increase Libido

When Mr. Black and I first started swinging, we were not only fucking more people but we were also fucking each other more often. For many people, swinging is a huge turn-on, and part of the reason they do it is to add some spice to their own marriage or relationship.

Admittedly, looking over and seeing your spouse get fucked by an attractive man or woman is highly erotic. After the swinging is done, many couples do something called “reconnection/reclaiming sex” in which they have sex with their own spouse in order to reconnect, or in a sense, reclaim what is theirs. It is typically not about jealousy, but rather, coming home. When Mr. Black and I have reconnection sex it’s usually because we are still horny because of the encounter that we’ve just had and our best sex is always with each other. For us, swinging increases the amount of sex that we have with each other in many different ways.

Learn More About Him/Her

Swinging can teach you a lot about not only yourself but also your spouse. For many couples, the Lifestyle opens up a whole world of possibilities to act upon their deepest and sexiest desires as not only a couple but individually. For the first time in their lives, some people are able to explore parts of their sexuality that they can’t do with just one person. For example, as a bisexual woman married to a straight man, the Lifestyle allowed me the opportunity to have sex with a woman for the first time.

Additionally, being intimate with new sex partners can open up both of your minds to things you never really knew that you would be into. Maybe one of you is into anal but the other isn’t? This can be something you can explore in a safe environment with people that can potentially fill the gap.

Exploring the Lifestyle with each other will give you a chance to see parts of each other that you haven’t seen before. Overall, this process is extremely rewarding and enlightening.

In Good Times and Bad

Although the Lifestyle is generally a very warm and welcoming community, there are certainly some couples in it for the wrong reasons or groups that probably aren’t a good fit for every couple. As a result of this, you and your spouse may experience a bit of drama along the way. Although drama is never fun when it does happen it will only make you lean in closer to each other and fend off the naysayers or troublemakers.

A couple should always put themselves first in swinging. Couples that make their relationship the priority will not only bond when things get tough, but come out the other end stronger. Remember each bad experience is a learning moment, and also a chance to prove how you both have each other’s backs.

For the Memoir

No matter what reason a couple decides to enter the swinging community, it should always be done together and not as some sort of fix for a failing relationship. Swinging should be fun! It should be a hot hobby that you and your spouse can do together, maybe make some friends along the way, and explore your sexuality both individually and together in new and mind-blowing ways.

Whether you swing for two months or twenty years, it should always be light-hearted and fun. When you work out your system, you can make special memories that you can both look back on one day and laugh at. Keep in mind that not every couple can achieve this! The ability to sleep with others outside of your marriage, with your spouse doing the same thing is only achievable by the strongest of couples. If you do it right, you will have some awesome stories for your memoir!

At the heart of it, swinging should be something that brings couples closer together. While many vanilla people think that swingers do what we do because something is missing, the truth is anything but that. We willingly choose to share the one person we love more than anything on Earth with others who are also doing the same. How beautiful is that?

The lifeblood of a good swinging couple is communication and the knowledge that you both will always be each other’s first choice. Playing together is unbelievably fun, sexy, and unlike anything else that you can do with your partner. Therefore, if you are finding yourself growing further apart as a result of swinging, you have to ask yourself why you are in it because it should only be bringing you closer together.