5 Things That Will Help You During Your Dark Night of The Soul
#2 Feeding your soul with content that either inspires you, validates your feelings, or expands your knowledge.
A dark night of the soul can be an incredibly humbling experience. It shakes every aspect of your existence and it forces you to question every relationship in your life.
I can’t put into words the amount of pain, sadness, grief, and despair I’ve felt over the past two years.
However, what astonishes me is that I can, somehow, see that there’s a purpose behind it. I know the Universe is guiding me and I know that it is giving me exactly what I need to grow and reconnect with my true, authentic self.
If you’re also going through this process, you know there’s no quick fix. The only thing you can do is allow yourself to feel your emotions — and give yourself some credit for withstanding such a difficult phase.
There are, however, a few coping methods that may help you find some peace during this whole journey. I’ve found some that work for me, and I hope they will help you too.
It’s possible to find some peace in the midst of chaos.
1. Accepting that your body and soul are asking for some rest.
One of the reasons behind a dark night of the soul is that we’ve been neglecting our emotional, physical, and spiritual needs for years. We’ve been doing what’s expected of us instead of listening to our inner guidance.
This is not the time to judge yourself because you’re always tired and don’t have the energy you once had. This is not the time to blame yourself for not being productive. In fact, the Universe is probably trying to teach you that you need silence and introspection.
Nature is cyclical and so are we. There are seasons to everything: to plant, to flourish, to slow down, and to hibernate. Accepting that this is the time to pause and rest (as much as possible) will help you integrate and make sense of your experience.
2. Feeding your soul with content that either inspires you, validates your feelings, or expands your knowledge.
It’s easy to feel invalidated, misunderstood, or even plain crazy when you’re dealing with countless obstacles that our society doesn’t even recognize.
Most people don’t acknowledge the importance of being aware of our trauma and emotional triggers, let alone the importance of healing our wounds and letting go of our conditioning. This is why it’s critical to feed your soul with content that doesn’t make you feel like a lunatic.
Read spiritual books, watch your favorite movies and connect with like-minded individuals (maybe through Facebook groups or YouTube videos) that have also experienced their own dark night and understand what you’re going through. Use this time to learn about yourself and the world as much as possible.
3. Being open to the lessons the Universe is teaching you.
Once you do give yourself permission to slow down, it will be easier to understand the lessons behind your journey.
I can’t tell you what the Universe is trying to tell you, but it’s usually something you’ve been ignoring or denying. Where do your emotions come from? Which aspects of yourself have you been suppressing?
In my case, I slowly realized how dysfunctional my family is — and how hurt and broken my inner child had been feeling. I could suddenly remember that constant feeling of never being good enough, of never feeling emotionally safe or fulfilled.
Now, it’s clear to me why I have always been a people-pleaser, or why I’ve always been so afraid of expressing myself.
The Universe will do whatever it takes to make us understand that our purpose is not to fulfill others’ dreams or to play a role so that we fit in.
4. Including mindfulness practices when you do have energy and mental space.
When our mental health is struggling, our energy levels are so low that simply going for a walk is a victory in itself — so, don’t underestimate how valuable those small victories are.
While being strict with my routines didn’t help me at all, incorporating my meditation or yoga practice has always helped me recenter myself and get in touch with my inner voice.
If you feel like you’re on the last stages of your dark night of the soul and your energy levels are — though somewhat inconsistently — getting back to normal, I’d recommend creating a few non-negotiable habits that make you feel good. It can be meditating just for 5 minutes or going for a 15-minute walk.
Use this period to reconnect with your inner child and make her feel loved and supported. What did you love doing when you were little? Painting? Reading? Dancing? Playing outside? Whatever it is, make space for it and I promise you’ll be immensely rewarded.
5. Getting clear on what you want for your life once this phase is over.
Having something to look forward to can do wonders for your mind. Even though it’s difficult to find a sense of direction during such confusing times, I believe it’s always possible to, at least, realign with our purpose.
Who do you want to be and where do you want to go? What were your dreams before you were worried about fitting in and being accepted? And most importantly, what can you do in the meantime that will get you closer to your goals?
Once you’ve let go of your old self and shed all the layers of your conditioning (or most of them), what will your new, authentic self be like?
A dark night of the soul is a powerful healing period, and healing is not always beautiful. It can be scary, it can hurt. It can get worse before it gets better.
Remind yourself that you need to let go of the old to make space for the new; that you can only share your gifts with the world once you’re living in alignment with yourself and the Universe.
Not knowing for how long this wild ride is going to last can be quite scary, but when you sit in stillness, I’m sure you can hear the Universe whispering to you “it’s okay, I got you”.