5 Things I Would Tell My 18-Year-Old Self

If I could call myself when I was 18, this is what I would say

When I was 18 years old, I was pretty messed up. Not because of drugs or alcohol or whatever else. But because I was probably more ignorant about the world and my identity than I should have been.

I graduated high school without caring much about graduation. My last year was filled with drama (probably more self-perceived than reality) and a desire to make something of myself.

While I wanted to make something of myself, I had no idea what that meant. In fact, I think I had a desire to prove myself to all the people I had felt wronged me more than creating something amazing.

That desire to prove myself led to a lot of stupid decisions in high school and college. And if I could, I would love to call myself on the phone and give myself a few pieces of advice.

Why Change Anything if it Turned Out in the End?

I have often thought about the idea of time travel. What if I could go back and change something in my past? Would I really want to? Would it change the way things turned out for me in the present?

Why would I want to change anything in my past if it turns out okay today?

I think I would want to impart advice to myself because things could be even better today than they are. And, I could enjoy so much more of the past than when I lived it.

Because things were hard for me, I was an escapist. I would play video games for hours, drink way too much on the weekends, and delve into unsavory things that messed up my potential for relationships.

While changing the past may not be good, I wish I could have had a different perspective on things. And that’s why I would call myself on the phone to provide a few bits of advice.

№1 — Do Not Be A Conformist

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” — Albert Einstein

Growing up, I fell in line in almost everything I did. If my parents told me to do something, I would do it. If a coach told me to do something, I would obey. My life was a series of conformity.

Not only with authority figures, but with the culture of the small-town society I lived in at the time. While I didn’t party in high school, I did feel the peer pressure to engage in other things.

Because of this, I sacrificed some really special things that I could have experienced in my life. The same goes for college. I conformed to the rules, to why I studied what I did, and to the norms of the ‘college experience.’

My first piece of advice: “Question everything, don’t just do what everyone else is doing. Ask, why are we doing these things?”

№2 — Know Yourself and Love Yourself

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” — Dr. Suess

I really didn’t come into my own until after I graduated from college and moved away from home and my little college town. It was during this first year of truly being away that I was forced to find my identity.

Before this time, my identity was what other people told me it was. The son of a fourth-generation farmer, football player, baseball player, country boy, etc.

However, when I struck out on my own long after all these experiences I started to uncover who I really was. No longer was I trapped by the identity I willingly accepted from others.

But it took leaving everything and being forced into a world that was so radically different and full of other people’s experiences for me to figure this out about me.

My second piece of advice: “Discover your identity now. Uncover what is true of you. Embrace it, love it, and let it guide you.”

№3 — Your Health Is Your Own

“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” — Mahatma Gandhi

I didn’t really start thinking bout my health until I got married. Which was well into my 20s. Before this point, I ate what I wanted, decided whether or not to workout, and basically didn’t care what my activities were doing to my body.

Which is typical for most of us.

Yet, I find myself looking back and seeing why some of my health ‘issues’ could have been avoided during those early years. Had I learned about eating better, drinking less, and doing specific exercises, things would have been different.

I didn’t think to do the research myself to understand what my health should look like. And I was so tied to, “this is the way that I am” that I never gave it much thought for myself.

My third piece of advice: “Take care of yourself. Drink more water. Eat more veggies and fruit. Be sure to move every single day.”

№4 — Become Financially Literate

“If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.” — Edmund Burke

We weren’t rich growing up. But, my parents worked hard so I wouldn’t know what our financial situation was. Not until I got older. And even then, I was too selfish to start thinking about what it meant to take care of money.

I simply wanted to feed my own personal satisfaction.

My parents tried to teach me how to take care of finances, but I was too ignorant to listen to their lessons. And because of this, I am still paying the price of ignorance financially.

My fourth piece of advice: Make your money work for you. Learn to give, save, and spend appropriately.

№5 — Be A Person of Purpose

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” ―Winston S. Churchill

I spent a lot of my time playing video games well into my 20s. And honestly, it was wasted time. While others were starting businesses or chasing dreams, I was shooting aliens and pretending to coach college football teams.

For much of my life, I could have been reading and learning. I could have been gaining new skills and developing deeper interests. But, I spent so much time escaping into video games that I missed out on a lot of things.

I failed to be a person of purpose.

Had I left video games behind I might have written a book earlier or discovered my passion for helping people. Maybe I would be full time with my passions instead of side-hustling.

My fifth and final piece of advice: Find your purpose and devote your time to that purpose.

What Would You Say To Yourself?

I was inspired to write this post by the challenge Joe Luca via Timothy Key’s post: Calling All Writers. In it, the challenge/prompt was…

You have one call to make and only one, to anybody in your past, dead or alive. Dial their number if you know it. Dial their name if you don’t. They will answer. Good luck.

This prompted me to call back to my 18-year-old self. It made me think about what I have been through in life and what might have changed had I known then what I know now.

And it makes me wonder, what would you tell yourself? Share in the responses below!

Jack Heimbigner loves to see people’s lives change and see them chase their dreams. Check out his Maximize Your Morning email course to start chasing your dreams today!

Here are a few more of his stories here on Illumination: