5 Surprisingly Affordable Things That Will Help You Have Way More Sex

Get more bangs for your buck

I should be having a lot more sex. Like, way more than I’m having.

I mean, I’m kind of obsessed with it.

It’s the only subject I write about. It’s what both of my podcasts are about — even when they’re not supposed to be.

I’ll binge-watch an entire TV series just because it has a hint of steaminess. As long as it’s not a period piece, anyway — I have my standards.

My mind pretty much runs on dirty jokes, too. The little voice in my head is hoarse from shouting “that’s what she said!” all day long.

And I truly love getting fucked.

I’m completely set up for it too.

I have easy access to a horny husband who practically gives me more orgasms than I can handle.

My sex toy collection is so big I barely have enough space to store everything — and I keep getting more.

My office has as much sex furniture as it has regular furniture. And I have so many different kinds of lube that the drawer I store them in is getting hard to close.

I should be having wall-to-wall sex. I should even be having sex against the wall once in a while — just to switch things up.

But nope, it’s a struggle — even to have regular ol’ bed sex. It takes a lot for me to get my libido going.

That wouldn’t be so bad if I just didn’t care. But I do.

I want to have sex way more often than I do now. I’m noticeably happier when I get laid more frequently. And even though the sex I’m having isn’t predictable, it’s completely reliable — I know it’s going to be incredibly pleasurable and satisfying every single time.

But my sexual desire doesn’t match up with my desire to have sex. Arousal just doesn’t come easily to me.

So yeah, I’m pretty fucking frustrated.

And the more I read about it, the more I realize that so many couples deal with the same thing.

They’re not having nearly as much as sex as they wish they were. But just wanting to fuck more often isn’t enough to get them in the right mood for it.

I’ve tried just about everything I could and a few things were genuinely helpful — even when the closet full of sex toys didn’t do the trick. If you’re frustrated by your libido, here are a few things that could help get you there more often.

A Massage Table

Full-body massages are basically the ideal kind of foreplay.

It’s super intintimate and involves a lot of very physical touches that feel very, very good. That alone can be enough to turn you on.

You can strip down to your underwear or be fully nude for it. Either way, being exposed and feeling a bit vulnerable can be pretty arousing.

It also relaxes the hell out of you, which is the perfect way to deal with cockblocking stress.

And there doesn’t need to be any sexpectations. The massage doesn’t have to lead to any hanky panky — it can just be a massage.

If it does lead to hanky panky, though, it can go in all sorts of different directions. You can transition right into some passionate, intense fucking. You can ease into longer, more sensual foreplay. Or if you’re not quite up for the whole sex shebang, you can still cap it off with a super satisfying happy ending.

That’s actually a pretty big deal. If you’ve got a low libido, your best bet for getting horny is good foreplay that doesn’t spook your horniness with the expectation that it’s going to lead to something more.

I’ve always relied on massages to improve my odds of getting in the mood. But I always got rubbed down in bed, which isn’t ideal.

Lying face-down on your mattress gets uncomfortable after a while. So does having your partner straddle you so they can work on your back. And they’ll probably get uncomfortable and tap out before you’re ready for it to be over.

I put up with it because I thought I couldn’t afford a massage table. It seemed like a luxury, and I didn’t have money for luxuries.

Then I got curious and actually looked it up. There were definitely some expensive ones that I wouldn’t be able to justify buying. But there were also quite a few surprisingly affordable options.

I bought a folding massage table on the spot and that was it. Since then, all the massages I get are more comfortable, last a lot longer, and are way more likely to get me in the mood for something more — even if it’s just a happy ending.

Porn You Can Actually Enjoy Together

Watching porn with your partner can be a really good way to jump start your sex drive.

For one thing, it’s porn. You’re watching people fucking, which can inspire you to do the same.

But you’re also doing it while cuddling, which is even better. If you’re the little spoon, you’re getting touched, stroked, and squeezed. If you’re the big spoon, you’re getting to feel your partner’s skin and the warmth of their body.

It’s basically a one-way ticket to pound town.

As long as you have the right kind of porn, anyway.

Nothing kills the excitement like spending way too much time looking for a scene you can watch together. If you’re on the seventh page of Pornhub results and still haven’t settled on a video, you’re probably not getting laid that night.

Actually, no. That’s not quite true. There’s one thing that’s even worse than the endless porn scroll — settling for a compromise.

I’ve tried compromise porn before and it just doesn’t do the trick. There might be a few things in it that actively turn you off. And there’s a very good chance there aren’t enough things about it that really hit your buttons.

That’s why I think every couple should have at least one porn subscription they can use together — no matter what your solo porn habits are.

It’s got to be something that really turns both of you on. Something that’s entertaining enough so you’re eager to watch it and arousing enough that it’ll turn most cuddle sessions into something way more exciting.

It’s tough to recommend something specific, though. There’s really no such thing as “porn for couples.”

You could check out Bellesa Films. They have two separate series where pornstars have unscripted sex, which is perfect for anyone who gets turned on by authentic fucking.

Adult Time is my usual recommendation and my personal favorite. There are so many amazing story-driven scenes full of sexual tension that can really get you in the mood.

But you might also need something a little more extreme, like a subscription to Evil Angel. Even if you like having more vanilla sex, you might find it easier to get aroused by rough facefucking, double anal, and degradation.

Or you might just need something that hits on some of your specific turn-ons.

If you’ve got a daddy kink that’s on the more playful and upbeat side, Daughter Swap videos might get you there fast.

If cucking and cheating scenarios get you unreasonably excited, you might be a big fan of Touch My Wife.

If it’s all-girl action that does it for you, then you’ll probably have a really good time exploring all the series on Girlsway.

Basically, there are hundreds of options. You just have to do a bit of searching to find one you can always watch together.

And yeah, there’s free porn out there. But a membership to the right site is the best way to get access to the really good stuff. If it gets you turned on more, entertains the hell out of you, and helps you have more sex, it’s definitely worth the price.

Arousal Gels and Oils

Arousal products are a low libido secret weapon.

There are different types, but they all basically work in the same way. You dab a bit on your clit and wait for something to happen.

How it feels will depend on the kind you use. A lot of them will give you a warming feeling. Some will give you a tingly cooling sensation. Some will be more buzzy. And some will make it feel like your clit is throbbing gently.

If you’re lucky, those sensations will do two things to you.

It will keep you thinking about your pussy and how good it feels. And that’s going to encourage you to have plenty of dirty thoughts.

And it’s also going to make you distractingly horny.

Now, I don’t actually find that they work that well if I’m completely turned off. I’ve tried dabbing some on when I’m not even remotely interested in fucking and it feels kind of nice but doesn’t put me in the mood for more.

But it works really well on days when I could go either way. When I’m open to the idea of having sex but I’m not sure I can get in the mood, a little arousal oil can get me where I want to be.

They’re also super fun when I’m already down for some action. It helps me go from being horny to feeling impatient to get fucked — and that’s a state of mind I can’t get enough of.

There aren’t nearly as many arousal products for cocks, but they’re out there. I can’t personally vouch for them but if giving your dick a jolt would help you get in a sexier mindset, it’s worth giving them a shot.

A Blindfold

I don’t know if this is typical or if I’m a weirdo, but I actively talk myself out of sex.

I think it’s because my sex drive is so low. Instead of being down to fuck, I tend to get hung up on different reasons not to have sex.

I’m not feeling all that cute.

I’m too lazy to get the sex blanket and lay it on the bed.

I worry that getting my brains fucked out is going to keep me up too late.

I’m not in the mood for sucking cock and I feel selfish because of it.

And that’s all it takes for me to lose my gusto.

But I’ve had a much easier time keeping that gusto since I started wearing a blindfold almost every time I have a romp in the sack.

Blindfolds don’t look like much but they’re incredible.

They make every single sex act feel a little dirtier. Having one over my eyes makes me feel super submissive, which I find very arousing. And blocking out my sight heightens all the physical sensations that are already intense to begin with.

They also ease a lot of those sex-related anxieties.

Wearing a blindfold will help you feel a lot less self-conscious about your body. There’s something about not being able to see how you look that just makes you feel better about it.

It takes away some of the pressure you might put on yourself to perform and be all sexy. When you’re blindfolded, your job is to just lie there and enjoy everything that’s being done to you.

And it works even better if you’re playing with a set of restraints too. When your movements are restricted, there’s less for you to think and worry about.

If you’re an anxious weirdo like me, definitely get a blindfold — especially if you’re on the submissive side. It’s a really simple way to get more comfortable with fucking. The extra kinkiness is just a bonus.

A Smart Bulb

Dimming the lights isn’t just some cheesy seduction tactic. It legitimately can help you get horny.

If the room’s brightly lit, it’s way too easy to feel exposed. And if you’re not turned on, that can be a really unsexy feeling.

And fucking with all the lights on feels like you’re naked under a spotlight. Unless you’re incredibly comfortable with your body, that can be a big turn off.

Complete darkness isn’t great either. It’s easier to get aroused when you can see your partner and watch them touch you. At least, until it’s time for the blindfold to go on.

Lighting some candles is a really good way to get the right atmosphere.

If you have a dimmer switch in your bedroom, that can work pretty well too.

But if you don’t, all you’ve got to do is replace your lightbulb with a smart bulb. That lets you control the lighting in your room from an interface on your phone, which means you can set the perfect mood lighting whenever you want.

You can even dim the lights a bit to get flirty and cuddly, then lower the brightness even more when it’s time to strip down.

I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but being able to adjust the lighting to your exact comfort level will give you more nights when you decide to go all the way.

Get Laid More

Having better sex is kind of easy.

You have to make an effort to talk about it more openly. A bit of experimentation is a good idea. Stocking your sex toy collection with a couple of vibrators that work really well for partnered play will help a lot too.

Getting yourself to more sex is trickier.

You have to figure out exactly what’s cockblocking you — and what the best way to deal with it is.

That might involve a lot of self-exploration and emotional work. You might have to work through some issues in your relationship. It could take some big lifestyle changes.

But if you’re lucky, all you’ll need to fuck more is a sturdy massage table and a reliable porn subscription.

This article contains affiliate links to a few fun accessories that will help get you in the mood. If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll have an easier time getting turned on and getting laid!

If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Getting Sweet After Getting Dirty (Sexual Aftercare, Sub Drop, and Weird Post-Sex Anxiety) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!

Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my weekly newsletter for updates about new articles, podcast episodes, and spicy content! (I won’t send you anything without your enthusiastic consent!)

❤ If you liked this post, you might also love: