5 Signs You’re Growing Into Who You’re Supposed to Be
Signs you’ve grown more than you think this year and how to keep going in 2022
You already know that trees can grow for centuries if left undisturbed in the right conditions.
But did you know that trees can only grow by producing new cells in limited places?
One of the places this happens? You guessed it…the roots.
A tree may grow exponentially over the course of a year or even several months and nobody else can see it.
The growth is hidden. Done in silence and alone, oftentimes in the dark.
For many, 2020 and 2021 were seasons of great growth. Why? Well, for a lot of reasons.
- The pandemic was a mass trauma and any trauma makes humans reprioritize their life
- Historically, every pandemic (once called plagues) have changed society and shaped spikes in things like religion and spirituality
- In our modern world, this plague looked a lot different than they have in the past. We had the internet, social media, and a host of resources that popped up from therapists, psychologists, and astrologers alike
In short, a lot of people went through huge seasons of growth in the last two years.
Myself included. My life looks nothing like what it did at the end of 2019. Not because of work from home or quarantine or anything like that.
I have 3 relationships that survived. I work in a new career field I never dreamed I would break into. I have the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with my self-image and my body after a decade in the fitness industry.
I see this trending all the time across Tik Tok and Instagram.
While humans obviously can’t grow for centuries, spiritual, healing — whatever you want to call it — kind of growth happens just like this.
Alone, often in the dark and in silence.
Sometimes you’re growing, just like a tree, except no one can see it. Not even you.
If it’s felt like you’re doing all the work….going to therapy, feeling old hurts, processing old trauma and none of it is working, it is. You simply may not be able to see it yet.
Here are 5 signs you’re growing into who you’re supposed to be.
You tolerate silence well
Possessing the ability to sit in silence is a good sign that you’re growing or have grown.
Why?
Because the world is a super busy place and we are conditioned to regulate our nervous system around this constant hum of busyness.
Pre-pandemic, when did most of us truly sit in silence or near silence? Not very often, huh?
Not needing to be busy, engaged, or stimulated in some way (via TV, activity, sound, etc) means your nervous system has learned to regulate better than before.
You no longer feel the need to react or respond
Remember when you felt that urge to respond to every message, call, Instagram DM, or hate comment here on Medium?
Or when every interaction was fueled by an emotion?
I remember when I did.
Growth means you can allow others to occupy a space that is different than your own. Someone else can have a different opinion than you and there’s no need to engage further if you don’t want to.
Growing means that you can respond to a situation rather than react to it from a place of old emotional triggers.
If you can do this now, it’s a good sign.
You don’t defend yourself anymore
This is a big one.
Most of the time, people treat you according to what version of you they used to know/what role you played in their life.
For example, a toxic friend treats you with disrespect because disrespecting you is what worked best for them.
Because of this, when you grow or heal you disrupt the version of who you were that benefited others the best. When this happens, folks can be critical, hurtful, and downright cruel.
If you no longer feel the need to defend yourself from others like this, it’s a great sign that you’re growing.
You appreciate solitude
Even if you were an INFJ loner before (like me), solitude feels a bit different these days.
Again, we are conditioned to stay engaged with the busyness of the world around us. What this has done over time is shape our nervous systems to need constant stimulation of some kind.
For many, this comes from a desperate need to be surrounded by noise, people, activities, etc. (No, I don’t mean extroverted folks here, either).
Let’s explore that bit further….
Sometimes we have a need for all the noise and the busyness because we are seeking validation of some kind. Other times, we have this need because it’s how we prove our self-worth. How we seek and gain love or acceptance.
If you’ve developed a newfound appreciation for solitude, it’s a good sign that you’ve grown or are growing.
You accept yourself
As a teenager, I had a deep fascination and love for all things vintage. I started a collection of random things I found while second-hand shopping. As the years went by, I let go of this love and my collection because everyone around me made fun of me for it.
These days, I don’t care.
When you can accept every tiny piece of who you are — quirks, flaws, weird things you like — it means you are growing beyond the societal ideals of what is and isn’t acceptable.
Not only is this a great sign that you’re growing, but it’s also a mentally and emotionally healthy place to be. Especially because we live in a world fueled by constant social media comparison, competition, and even workplace ranking based on performance types of stimuli.
This also applies to body image, too. Officially (whatever that means), this is termed radical acceptance. Check out 5 things to let go of to work towards radical acceptance here.
It feels a bit cliche to add this part here, but how to keep going in 2022 is simple.
Keep doing what you’re doing. That’s it.
You won’t have any trouble though since most folks who taste this level of growth rarely go backward.
Parts of you may die just like the parts of a tree, but you’ll keep growing anyway.
So…
Have you grown?
Are you growing?
Contrary to what the popular narrative might be, growing is hard. It can be confusing and painful.
Still, I guarantee you’ve grown more than you think you have this year.