5 Signs That Say You are a Slave to Your Emotions. Ways to Tame Them

Fly like a bird, smell like a flower, flow like a river and sleep like a baby. Live a life free from bondage.

Emotions play a king-size role in everyone’s life. But if emotions usually direct your life, then you are as good as slaves of emotions. Do you know that slavery is a crime against humanity and one’s self!

Emotions can generate harmful hormones dragging us into the comfort zone of blaming others, denying reality, blaming God, luck, and circumstances.

Being played by emotions is neither healthy nor will it do good for people around you. Is ‘taming your emotions’ synonymous with ‘bull-shitting yourself with one more self-help article’?

Well, I do not think so. This article is a result of my observation of myself and the people around me, it’s original work. It’s not a copy-paste from top-selling books or words from renowned speakers. And, I believe original work never fails the reader.

Let’s first discuss how vulnerable we are, before getting to the point of how to tame them. Do not feel bad if you identify with one of these below and please bear with me to reach the “Taming part”.

1. You are easily upset if someone blames you for your incapability

You are carried away by the slightest of the triggers by the people all around you including colleagues and boss at the office, family, neighbours as well as an unknown person. So, if the other person targets you to make you feel bad or incapable, you make yourselves feel miserable by accepting it as a reality — as if God has bestowed it upon you. Are you so weak that your thoughts and emotions can be ruled by someone else?

2. When you are upset, you show your nasty side to others

The scapegoat in this case is usually either your life partner or your parents. If you are a boss, then it’s your team. I still do not understand how bosses, who don’t control their emotions, have been raised to such responsible positions in the first place — the impact of their impulsive decisions is probably never factored in promotions. At the end of the day, such people come up with ‘Am sorry, I was not in a good mood today’ — an excuse to cover up stupidity. So, do you want me to accept and get convinced that harmonic imbalances are the body’s natural phenomenon?

3. You feel that no one understands you

I have commonly encountered these words in discussions with many people. If you feel that no one understands you and everyone hurts you mentally, then don’t you think for a minute that the problem might be with yourself? Ironically, whoever spoke these words with me never accepted or doubted themselves with this question. Moreover, the question was never taken in good spirits and it just boomeranged. Should we consider ourselves so seriously in this world that everyone must understand us correctly?

4. You are in a troubled relationship but fear discussing it and cover it in the name of ‘not breaking a promise’

This is the most common of all, especially in the so-called “traditional cultured families”. I am not here to recommend an immediate divorce to your loved ones. But I say why to live in a troubled relationship and torture each other when both are sure of a fantastic life individually. Are you sure the bridges are completely burned?

5. You can’t withstand opposition to your brilliant idea or revelation

You are in a meeting with your wonderful point and idea, which is well appreciated by everyone. One opposition comes in, collapsing all the dream castles you built on your idea. You strive your best to deny the opposition defending your point to a length that you prove to the audience how much obsessed you are with your idea and its associated greatness. To be clear, I am not asking you to give up early. Here, I am talking about a situation where you know that you are wrong. If a confrontation made you realise that your idea was dumb, do you still want to fake it and not give up on your ego?

Tame Your Mind to Manage Your Emotions

Here comes the taming part. So, you could identify yourself with one or more of the above and understood that you have become the slave of emotions. Not to worry folks! And, let me tell you something you know, you are not alone. Let’s try to ponder over each of the above and see if the below can help you to overcome at least to some extent.

Firstly, no one is perfect. To the extent possible, everyone needs to try to be their best, with no excuses. In some cases, the boss or parents don’t understand the sincere efforts paid in and blames you for the failure. In such a case where you know that mistake is not from your side, remember that the other guy can only achieve his target of hurting you if you give him a chance to do so. Even if the mistake is from your side, understand the point that we are humans and there can be failures, which are of course the stepping stones for success.

Do not make the person blaming you become successful by getting emotionally impacted by his words. Practice paying a deaf ear to their words or actions.

Secondly, let your emotions not be bearing a cascading effect. If you are miserable, then you will make everyone’s life around you miserable. Take the hit, make yourself an iron vacuum-filled container and try to stop the buck at your end.

Even if one hits the tree with stones, it provides you with its sweet fruits and shelter. Be useful to others and be ready to lend your helping hand, which will magically improve your life.

Thirdly, introspect yourself as a third person sincerely. Defending continuously, please do not lead yourself into a self-sympathetic position. I understand that man is a social animal but we need to make ourselves likable. No, I am not asking you to mend yourself into likes of others — that’s slavery. But if more and more people complain against you, it’s time to conduct a deeper introspection.

Be like a flower and spread the fragrance.

Fourth, being in a relationship is for mutual benefit. The moment it is not mutual, the relationship is troubled. Human minds are flexible enough to forget, If it can be repaired, try to the maximum extent possible by being empathetic to the other person. But ensure to defeat emotional blackmail by common sense.

Treat the other person, the way you want to be treated. Promises hold good only upon ceteris paribus (Latin word for other things equal or held constant)

Finally, remember to isolate yourself from your idea. Your idea should never become your identity. Remember that your idea may be good but may have to be improvised by considering others’ ideas into consideration. It’s okay you would not lose all your credit, but you may have to share some with that colleague of yours who helped — which is appropriate, isn’t it.

Instead of making yourself a fool by defending the impractical, better to accept defeat. Accepting defeat once if required doesn’t mean you are done for your life, instead, it shows how flexible and practical are you in your approach. You are a Life and it is larger than your idea. Ideas keep coming and this is not the end of the world.

Known is a drop and unknown is an ocean. One who knows the self knows all. A person who knows a lot doesn’t speak but a person who doesn’t know much cannot stay silent.

So, my dear reader — Know yourself deep inside and relieve yourself from the bondage of your own emotions.

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