5 Reasons Why Straight Men Crave Anal Sex
It’s not only because princesses want it
In 21st-century fairy tales, princesses upped the ante and are now taking it up the ass to reward prince charming. At least in the movies.
I’m not talking about porn.
In Kingsman: The Secret Service, featuring Colin Firth and Samuel L. Jackson, the princess offers the hero “to do it in the bum” if he saves her (and the world).
In a world where Cosmo regularly writes about it, and even princesses do it, we almost start wondering how anyone could refuse this treat to their partner.
Whether you’re doing it or not, understanding why straight men crave anal sex can be eye-opening to the dynamics of their romantic relationships. And can tell a great deal about their true sexual desires.
They are insecure
When I was younger, I wasn’t confident enough in my masculinity and didn’t accept my femininity. I thought I needed to be the boss, the leader, instead of a partner.
At the time, my craving for anal sex mirrored that fragility. Putting my dick in my partner’s ass would be a way to “show her.”
It was something she hadn’t done before. Doing it with me would therefore prove my superiority in comparison to the “others.” It was something taboo, hence showing how strong I was by breaking the usual limits. And by accepting the act, she would be submissive, and I, consequently, dominant.
Some straight men are insecure and want to assert dominance by fucking their partners in the ass.
This sort of dominance display is radically different from BDSM, where consent, self-confidence, and a high sense of self-worth are the keys to a successful power exchange, or D/s, relationship.
They like to inflict pain
Listening and paying undivided attention to your partner’s well-being are keys to a pleasurable anal experience. Even so, anal sex can be painful. Which is one of the reasons people engage in this practice. Pain can indeed be erotic and might play a role in the receiver’s overall pleasure.
According to MedicalNewsToday, “physical pain as a source of pleasure” has some documented scientific foundations. Indeed, both sensations “activate the same neural mechanisms in the brain.” Pain, in the appropriate context, can also have some psychological benefits, in particular in terms of bonding with the partner.
But some people toxically want to inflict pain on others, and, specifically, their partners.
In this context, repeated and pushy demands for anal sex can be a way to bring psychological discomfort to their partners. If only, to make them feel guilty for not relenting.
For these manipulative and vicious people, when their partner finally agrees to the experience, the primary goal might be to give physical pain to their unwilling partner.
Again, this is unlike the BDSM scene, where sadism goes hand in hand with masochism, but everybody consents and understands the stakes.
They get older and kinkier
You could argue anal sex isn’t the kinkiest act on the list. But for straight couples, it’s not the missionary sex either.
Hedonic adaptation tells us we get used to everything. As crazy as getting used to sex might sound, for experienced practitioners, it might ring a ball (I couldn’t resist the pun).
Following the same rituals and positions, every Tuesday and Friday evening is tedious. Humans like surprises and novelty.
As we get older, we get kinkier. We want to mix yoga and sex, to get pegged (at least, I want), and, as a study by Trojan and the SIECCAN (Sex Information and Educational Council of Canada) showed, we want to try new things:
“63 percent of the [2,400] midlife Canadians surveyed said they are more interested in trying new things to enhance pleasure than they were a decade ago.”
On a side note, thank you, Canada, for your openness and all the sex statistics; keep them coming!
They don’t fully assume their sexuality
What they truly want is to explore their homoerotic side. We all have one. Call it gay, homoerotic, or feminine side; it’s there. Some of us are more comfortable than others in exploring it.
The former are usually lucky enough to live in a tolerant and open-minded environment. An environment that lets people explore their desires without shame or social stigma. Non-judgemental parents, accepting communities, and publications like Sexography or Heart affairs — all contribute to building this safer place for all to explore.
Others don’t have this chance; they can’t allow themselves to try. They’re supposed to be 100% straight. Let me rephrase that. By writing 100%, I imply that it could be a different number. For some men, there’s no choice whatsoever. By definition, they’re straight.
So, instead of exploring their homoerotic side, they go for the next best thing and fuck their partners in the ass.
In all truth, they would like to try it as well.
They would like to get pegged
Some men wonder what it would be like to take it in the ass. But it’s too taboo. They can’t let themselves go. At most, they play a bit with their anus when they masturbate. But they never tell their partner about it.
Asking their partner for anal sex is the only way they found to start the discussion. And when their partner refuses, they’re relieved and disappointed.
Relieved; because since the ass ceiling didn’t break, they don’t have to deal with the frightening idea of their fantasies becoming real. They tried to broach the topic, but it didn’t work out. Well, too bad, it’s not their fault.
Disappointed, because, secretly (unconsciously?), they hope for this answer: “No honey, I don’t like it. But maybe you want to try?”
Or, even better, “No honey, it’s your turn. Bring me the lube, and take off your pants, tonight’s pegging night.”
They’re too afraid to ask for it and would be so pleased if it could happen without them saying a word.
It’s easier to lie by omission than overtly. If my partner takes control, I can make up a story afterward that I didn’t want this; it’s all my partner’s doing. I’m still “pure,” I didn’t break the taboo. As I don’t fully accept my homoerotic side, this is my way of dealing with cognitive dissonance.
Conclusion
If your partner is a prince and not an abusive one, remember that he might want to feel like a princess from time to time; and be saved by another princess, a strap-on-wearing one.
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