Relationships/Happiness
5 Reasons Why Cheating Is Always Worse For The Cheater
Take heart if someone has cheated on you, what they did to themself was way worse.
Erin King is the author of the book “How To Be Wise AF: 30-Day Guided Journal For Women” and other wellness, gratitude, and wellbeing resources.
When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves — they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true.
— Cheryl Hughes
Have you stayed in a relationship long after you should have left?
Run into an ex you still had feelings for?
Maybe you work with someone you have great chemistry with.
Or your relationship has hit a rough patch.
If any of these things have tempted you to cheat on a partner, think again. They’re not the only one you’re hurting when you decide to stray.
If you cheat, the other person will eventually move on.
They might realize you were so toxic that they need to reevaluate their life and finally get help. They might even thank you one day for saving them from long-term heartache by showing your true self.
The reality is, when you cheat, the other person can move on from you. They’ll get past what you did to them, but you can’t.
Here are five reasons why cheating is worse for the cheater.
1. You are reinforcing damaging patterns in your own life.
Maybe you never learned to trust when you were a child, so you’re unable to build it as an adult. Maybe when you start to love or get close to someone, it triggers anxiety.
You’d be better off confiding in your significant other about your struggles before you do something stupid. You might be pleasantly surprised to find they’re more supportive than you thought they would be.
2. Shame and guilt.
You may not admit it, but if you cheat, you’re going to be ashamed and feel guilty, especially if your partner finds out and tells other people.
These toxic emotions will keep you from being emotionally free to be truly happy. They will hang over you like a dark cloud, poisoning relationships, and sucking the joy out of life.
If you have these issues, wanting to cheat but not following through could give you a much-needed boost of self-respect.
“Just because a feeling is natural does not mean it should be indulged.” ― Roseanna White
3. Even if you think cheating reinforces to you that you’re popular or special, you’ll know you’re lying to yourself.
Cheating is a harmful, empty pursuit, and no matter how much you tell yourself that you are a player, it won’t take away the emptiness.
No matter how painful the truth is, it is always better than a lie. If you can face the unpleasant facts about your life, you can work to heal them. The healing process is difficult, but the payoff is life-saving.
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” — Buddha
4. Cheating hurts families.
If you have children, it scars them in ways that shatter their sense of security and causes their worldview to collapse.
As adults, they might be able to move past it, but they will never fully invest in you. Even if you’re not into your kids right now, one day you might be, and then you will be sorry.
If you don’t have kids, you’re cheating on your partner’s parents, siblings, and friends.
“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching — they are your family.” — Jim Butcher
You’re even cheating on your own parents, siblings, and extended family when you cheat. They probably love your partner. You betray them all at the same moment you betray your partner.
Look around and you will probably see people who genuinely love you and your partner. You disappoint them all when you cheat and when they find out, they’ll never respect you or see you in the same light again.
5. Cheating hurts future relationships.
If you cheat once, you are a cheater, period. Nobody will be able to trust you again fully.
Want to test this theory? Tell the person you are with that you cheated on a previous partner and see how they react.
From that moment on, they’ll always have it in the back of their mind that you’ve two-timed. If you did it to someone else, why wouldn’t you do it to them?
A healthy person with strong morals and character may not even want to be with you in the first place if they know you’ve been unfaithful.
Future, you will always have that hanging over their head. You’ll probably have to lie about it at the beginning of new relationships or avoid the subject.
Instead, why not act in a way that makes Future You proud. Makes Future You’s life easier and makes Future You’s partner respect and admire you. Instead of taking the easy way out, why not take the high road. Future You will thank you.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi
In the heat of the moment, cheating might seem like a great idea if you’re bored with your partner. It might seem exciting or make you feel special.
Your relationship might be all but over, so having an affair might seem like a great way to end it. Just cheat and let the other person do the work.
But when you cheat, the only person you’re really hurting is yourself. Your partner can move on and heal. They can leave you and your toxic behavior behind, but you can’t.
So even though there are many reasons you could cheat on someone, the real reasons not to are more about you, not them.
Thanks for reading!
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❤Because the path to well-being is deeper self-knowledge.❤
Erin King is the author of the book “How To Be Wise AF: 30-Day Guided Journal For Women” and other health, wellness, and well-being resources.
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