5 Reasons Child Support 101 Should Be A Thing
Why does this topic rub so many the wrong way?
When most think of babies, it is always a joyous occasion. Couples are in awe of who they created and the wonderful opportunity to raise him or her to be a fantastic human. Although some are finding love and others are treading those waters alone as a single or co-parent.
Many in the latter group are not sure what that entity will bring for their financial stability and their ability to care for their child. So much needs to be understood about the effect this has.
When we think back, some of us planned our children and some of us were (or not) pleasantly surprised that there was a baby on the way. We plan, we dream and we prepare as much as we can about who our new baby will look like, when he or she will be born or if we will be buying pink or blue.
Pre-ultrasound and gender reveal expectant parents were just concerned that the baby would be healthy and the mother would birth the baby with no medical issues. However, the reality is, sometimes couples don’t receive that happy ending. Although the relationship or marriage that was planned may sever, the care that child(ren) needs remains real.
The American Dream
As we know, the cliché of the American Dream consists of a husband, wife, daughter, son, puppy, and white picket fence happens to some and doesn’t always come to fruition for most. Sometimes a family may decrease to one parent raising the children with all the responsibility of child-rearing, including the financial responsibility that comes along with it.
Financial Responsibility
Parenting is expected by both, mother and father, and there is no way that the financial piece should be ignored. I’m still unclear why this issue remains a “sting to the butt” for some parents when it comes to child support.
I won’t dive deep into the importance of financial support for children because, at this point in our lives, that should be evident. However, child support is an issue that needs to be constant, intentional, and addressed with those who might be blinded by its necessity. It should come naturally, luckily for some, the courts stand in the fold for the children.
Child Support 101
1). It is laughable that these cases even reach the courts. Both parents should be able to agree on a monthly amount and be prepared to re-visit the discussion as the children grow, join activities, medical issues arise, etc.
2). Parenting should be the premise of the relationship between the parent and child (not necessarily the money) however, the relationship should trigger the notion that taking care of the children in every way possible is vital.
3). Children shouldn’t be used as pawns. Many men are built to provide and protect and if he feels unable to contribute, he may choose to not be involved altogether. The relationship between a parent and a child is priceless. Let’s not use the children to force that financial hand (insert child support). Let the court handle the money requests and avoid the constant drama.
4). Paying parents, you might think about this; volunteer the child support proceedings to the proper authorities. Anything given for your child outside of the child support system is seen as a gift. Let your financial efforts play out in the eyes of the state you reside. Then you (both) can get back to raising the children.
5). The verbal battle about financial support is so unneeded. Both parents know how costly it is to take care of children and even more so if only one parent is contributing. If you are unable to agree, then, by all means, use the child support system as an enforcer.
Conclusion
Before this, all begins it would make so much more sense to understand child support and all that comes with it. There are more than just court dates and monthly payments. Children are involved, we tend to forget. Through it all, you will make it.
Remember, there are plenty of us who are going through the same situations and are making it with peace of mind, even if financial assistance is minimal or never happens; both mothers and fathers.
Pray for wisdom, strength, and clarity, and then keep moving forward.
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