5 Misconceptions of Guarded People
You think you know what is going on in our brains but you have no idea.
Making new friends and dating are areas of my life that I need to work on more than anything else. My ability to socialize is hindered by the fact that I cannot allow just anyone in. I have a process that my mind moves through with every new person that comes into my life.
You need to understand that there are many layers to an individual who is guarded. We were not always this way. We didn’t always hide behind a door slowly built throughout our lives. We didn’t just wake up one and decided to shut out the world. It was gradual. It was slow. It happened before we even realized it.
5 Misconceptions of Guarded People
- We are snobby and too good for others.
I don’t speak because I don’t have to. I socialize when I need to. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you or I think I’m better than you. I simply observe other people before I interact. I also don’t feel comfortable opening my personality up to strangers or acquaintances. It’s an uneasy feeling allowing someone to know who you actually are.
We are quiet through most social situations because we don’t know what to say. We are consistently overthinking the current scenario in our minds. We don’t want to expose too much of ourselves, but we want to be somewhat normal, too. Our fear is that we open up to the wrong people and they disappoint us. They either aren’t good people or they just disappear. We don’t like wasting our time.
2. We are miserable no matter what the situation is.
We are not miserable. The situation does not make us miserable. We simply don’t vibe with the group of people we are with. If you talk to the right people in a guarded person’s life, you will quickly see that they know someone you’ve never experienced. They describe a person that is lively and fun.
Why is this? These people are understanding. They are also compassionate. They see more than just the outer layer. They see other layers peeking through. They put in the effort to be our friend. I understand if putting in effort isn’t worth starting a new friendship. That’s okay, but we are not miserable.
3. We are always hiding something.
Thinking about this one makes me laugh. There have been many a times that someone thinks that I am withholding an emotion or thought. They think that there is more going on in my life or world than I’m telling them. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts. I think about situations. I’m observing my surroundings. I’m thinking about what I’m gonna have for dinner that night. The list is endless. I promise you if there is something wrong, we will tell you.
4. We are uncapable of love and affection.
I don’t want to be loving on just anyone. I’m not the girl you bring home the first night and cuddle with. I’m not the girl that you get cutesy with on the first date. I am much deeper than that. I want to know things about you. I want to talk to you and laugh with you. THOSE are the most important parts of a relationship for me. When these areas are fulfilled, we reach a new level of comfortability with whomever we are with.
Affection and love are earned. It’s special. It opens up a side that rarely anyone gets to see. It’s new chapter in our book. I can tell you that it may seem difficult, but it’s worth it.
5. We are broken.
Most people assume that people who are guarded are broken or depressed. It’s always a negative emotion. I’ll be completely honest, the disappointments in my life created who I am today. However, I rebuilt myself from the ground up every time something happened to me. It’s kind of like if you touch a hot stove, it’s gonna hurt, and you aren’t going to touch it again.
Those of us who are guarded learn from our past mistakes. We understand that maybe we moved to fast the last time. Or maybe we should have paid more attention to the red flags that were present. We are just more cautious than others. That’s it. Nothing special.
I was shamed for a long time of being who I am. I’ve been a guarded individual most of my life. It’s not understood by most people, or most of the people that I have come into contact with. It’s frustrating to some people.
We need a little more compassion in the world. Patience. Open-mindedness. We need to come together and realize that we are all different and move at our own speeds.
Hopefully, one day we will achieve this. One day.
