5 Lessons Medium Has Taught Me About Life

Whatever spills out from you will translate into paper and your experience.

I have stumbled upon Medium two years ago. However, it was not until last April since I started writing and publishing consistently.

I am confident to say: with time, I have discovered a few treasures about the platform that I can also borrow in my daily experience.

Let’s cut to the chase:

1. Engagement.

When you actively participate, you will reap the fruit. The more you connect with people through comments, claps, the more involved you feel in the platform. More people read your content, and communicate with you through the creative process. When you create your content with honesty and the intention of servitude to your readers, you will receive a genuine audience.

The same works in life. When you give out to the world, you will always receive. Diving deeper: whatever you give out, the same quality you shall harvest. When you are willing to meet your partner with understanding and affection, especially if they are deeply hurt and seem hard to love, you will always receive respect and honesty in return. When you react with anger and pettiness, the outcome of the situation will only provide you with more pain and resentment. Whenever you talk behind somebody’s back, that person will unconsciously tune into your low energy and resist cooperating with you on many levels.

Let’s say you are unappreciative of your boss, constantly complaining about how late he is with the paycheck. Instead, practice gratitude for having money and a job at all. Focus your attention on the possibility of finding a better occupation, than constantly playing the role of a martyr. The energy you feed into your profession will be reflected in your work conditions as well.

2. Don’t compare.

Stop frantically checking on life. I do not allow for the habit of tracking my stats on Medium to take control over my life. I know it does not serve me. Instead, it overwhelms me with the pressure to overperform, to do better, to keep up with the hustle culture. I do not compare myself to other writers. The more you compare yourself with others, the harder it will be to produce an authentic work that you will be satisfied with.

Any project you feel passionate about should be a joyful experience, and comparison kills it in the bud. Now, your focus is to produce something better than somebody else, not to have fun along the way. Your mindset operates from the scarcity thinking: I am not good enough, so I need to prove my worth by being better than others. Not only your actions will centre around the false pursuit of fulfilment, but also you fall down the trap of misery and ‘the disease of more’ is born. I have been on that road many times before, whether through the process of writing or social media engagement. I detoxified my Instagram, who I choose to follow, what feed I wish to engage. I do not track my journey what I possess what others may not. I do not compare my body to somebody else’s fitness journey. I choose an exercise that makes me feel good and energized, not because it is a trend nowadays or is supposed to pump my butt. I write for the pleasure of it. I read because I am curious, not to be ahead of anybody else. If I do not feel like publishing that article because it just does not stick, I withdraw, give it a rest, and let it mature. No pressure. I do not check my progress, but go with the flow.

Comparison has never sparked my creative process. When you catch your mind on the comparison, try meditating: is this content valid? Is this life presented on social media realistic? What do I really know about this person’s values and past experiences? Their journey might be completely different from yours, as we all carry unique experiences and wisdom to pass on. Inspiration is healthy when done from the place of self-belief and worthiness. Comparison is a destructive habit that numbs our authenticity by trying to blend in with the crowd. May the road less paved be the road that you follow.

3. Insecurities are loud. Confidence is silent.

I stopped chasing validation. I didn’t buy into the advice of many to follow anybody, just to be seen. I relinquish the need to be loud. Insecurities are loud. But true confidence. Nah. That is a totally different and silent story.

I do not write for publicity. I write to express myself and share my views of the world with others. In the past, when I felt lost and confused, I needed that different point of view. I needed the perspective of somebody else on the same experiences I was going through. Who knows? These days, somebody else might need that kind of support.

The same with life. I no longer wear clothes to draw my attention, show skin, but pick out pieces that make me feel comfortable or sexy depending on my mood. It does not have to be the-same-kind-of-sexy that social media approve, but it makes me feel confident while wearing it. In fact, I have mastered the art of feeling fearless in jeans and a t-shirt, no makeup on, which used to be unthinkable as a former makeup artist and a beauty junkie. I no longer chase relationships. I feel whole and complete on my own, so I never feel lonely. I like being alone in my head, just as I enjoy the company of my few quality friends. I used to crave living in the big city, working longer than 9–5 in a fancy building. Once I got that, I would never want it back. Those weren’t my dreams, but attempts to make myself whole and respected in my family’s eyes. When I stopped chasing external approval and discovered my internal permission to live life on my terms, I felt complete. My life started unfolding in a perfect, light-hearted manner. It became joyful and effortless.

The louder you become, the more desperate you get. And energy is tangible. Due to the pressure of striving to be liked, commented on, amazed at, you create resistance. In reality, your fake confidence repels authenticity and genuine compliments. When you try to draw attention and wear that new shirt, it does not mean you don’t look good. It means you have manipulated energy in such a way that nobody notices or is not willing to grant you that compliment. You are trying too hard. That brings me to another point.

4. Let go.

Step away from pressuring your way into a successful business, relationship or publication. Once you let go of the control, you are letting in major blessings.

Sometimes we force ourselves to follow the path not necessarily suitable for us. When you release the control, you stumble on the unknown territory where you can plant new seeds, do something extraordinary, innovative and reap the phenomenal benefits of your joyful and effortless lifestyle. Chasing the specific outcome clouds any possibilities that may be available to you. Just because you are too preoccupied with one goal. You manifest more by letting go than actually holding a tight grasp on it. Control means everything to the mind, however elusive it may be. We are not accustomed to going with the flow. We set alarms. We hustle. We keep calendars in check. We keep track of our screen time. We count calories. We order sex online. We photoshop our pictures.

Yet. The unknown is where the magic happens. So trust. Practice the art of letting go. Control only brings fear and resistance. Stress accumulates more stress. Ease into the situation you are currently going through. Surrender to the flow of life by mindfully orchestrating your response, and embrace whatever emotions arise. Be present.

5. Quality connections are a gem.

A few devoted subscribers are far more rewarding than a bunch of fake followers. People who are interested in your point of you view make all the difference when writing content. They make your fruit purposeful.

The same in life: when you get to enjoy meaningful moments with real friends, a handful of them, you experience a new level of excellence in life. It is not the quantity that enriches your experience, but the quality of people you get to share it with.

Everything starts within you.

How you approach your writing, what spills out from you, how you coin your experiences, past mistakes into lessons, and cautionary tales for others will translate onto paper and readers you attract.

How you approach your life will determine the outcome of every situation. Your beliefs make up your reality. Whatever you choose to entertain your thoughts with will translate into your relationships, health, energy levels, and the quality of your experiences.

For me, the rules of life are simple. It is faithfully following those rules that become tricky. Life is better experienced through minimalism, active engagement such as gratitude, kind words and gestures. Not over-the-top philosophy, not hard work, but pure enjoyment and acceptance of every taste each season has to offer.

Thank you for reading!

I write to empower and inspire with self-love. Your biggest strength lies in your authenticity, so embrace the whole package. Wear your unique attitude proudly.