5 Bad Habits That Make You Undesirable As a Person

And what to do instead.

Being sought out as a friend, partner, or even confidant means you have qualities that deem you worthy of fulfilling these roles. You should exude traits such as empathy, grit, curiosity, and self-control.

Qualities such as these allow you to better connect with those around you. In order to achieve this, you should halt repeating some of the following behaviors you may be doing unconsciously.

1. The constant need to criticize others

Many things make me cringe, watching someone bite down on something cold, the sound of fingernails scratching a painted wall with no topcoat—that one is odd, I know—and people who criticize others who are not even aware of their existence.

In the past, I have associated myself with people who could not seem to stop themselves from making negative comments about someone we would come across while out in public.

That hairstyle does not look good on her. Those pants look way too tight. Why are they walking like that?

The person talking bad about others may believe it makes them appear cool; on the contrary, they should be embarrassed. Bad-mouthing strangers unprovoked says a lot more about them than the strangers they are talking about.

It makes you look insecure and like a horrible person overall. Rather than criticize someone, compliment them.

“Compliments benefit the giver, too. Being in the habit of giving compliments helps us notice and appreciate what’s good and what we like in those around us,” according to NBC News.

2. Only calling someone to vent about your problems

A lot is going on in the world right now; each day, headlines in the media seem to get progressively worse, if that is even possible. At times it may be comforting to have someone to confide in when you feel like you are going over the edge.

It is okay to phone a close friend or family member when you need someone to talk to; however, do not only call them to talk about the plethora of problems you may be facing.

Only calling someone to vent about the things going on in your life is inconsiderate; understand that you are not the only one going through something.

Call others to check on them and see if they need a phone call to vent about what they may be going through. You should also call to have conversations that are more lighthearted, such as discussing movies, things that they are proud of accomplishing during their week, or each other's favorite take-out spots.

3. Living your everyday life as if you have a permanent rain cloud over you

If there is one thing I know for sure about life, your highs and lows are a package deal; they are not sold separately. Some days you will have a series of wins, some days, you will have a series of losses, and some days you will experience both.

The guarantee of you having losses, failures, or setbacks—whatever you want to call it—should not result in you going about your day-to-day life being upset at the world.

The harsh truth is that life will not get any easier, and no one wants to associate with those who point out the negatives of life each chance they get. Learn how to restructure your mind to see the good in every situation.

4. Not being present; failing to pay attention

It is safe to say that no one likes to be ignored, especially by someone they care about.

Say you are chatting it up with one of your close friends; you are all into what you are saying. However, iPhone eyes next to you cannot seem to take their eyes off their phone.

After every couple of words you get out, some blaring notification sound erupts from their phone. They wait for a second, shift their eyes down quickly and then look back up at you as if they are paying attention to anything you say.

No one likes to hang around with people who cannot give them their undivided attention; it makes them feel insignificant like they are an optional choice in your life. Despite what you may have going on in your life, do your best to push the pause button for it when you hang out with those whom you care for.

5. Being willfully ignorant

Across the different social media platforms and various search engines, there is a universe of valuable information available for us to consume. No matter how minuscule I learn something new every day, whether I am directly looking for information on Google or being taught something by someone on social platforms.

Despite the copious amounts of information out there, many fail to take advantage of it. Make it a goal of yours to learn something new each day no matter how small it may seem.

Final Thoughts

Trying to be desirable as a person is about eradicating these habits that will repel people and adapting traits that make you better overall.

Shoutout to Sally Prag for this enlightening piece.