Myths About Me: Tackling Thought Distortions

It took me a lot of years to admit — to even realize — that my mental health needed attention. Once I finally did, I began learning all kinds of new things about myself — including how I had made excuses and undermined myself for my entire life. The realizations just tumbled out, and soon I couldn’t help but write about them.

As I navigated the winding road of my mental health journey, I began to realize that I wasn’t alone in the feelings and experiences I was exploring, and I suspected there were others who might benefit from reading my words. I thought for a long time about how to best collect and share this work, and I ultimately decided to begin by creating a publication on Medium called Messy Mind.

I began publishing stories here, and it was comforting to know that my words were speaking to readers. My first post, Cleaning Up My Messy Mind, was published on the second day of Mental Health Awareness Month and distributed under the topic of mental health, and the response was so amazing that I knew I was on the right path.

I’ve continued to publish stories cataloging my mental health journey, and for the last week of Mental Health Awareness Month, I am challenging myself to write daily about the myths that I’ve invented about myself over the last thirty-someodd years and the work I’m doing to overcome them.

I’ll be posting on Instagram and writing fuller stories over here on Medium. It’s bound to be a bumpy ride, but even the bumpiest of rides is tolerable with a little company. Thanks for coming with me on this journey. 💗

Myth #1:

Everyone else’s happiness is more important than mine.

I somehow internalized this myth through dealing with lots of dysfunction growing up, and it has had some disturbing effects and echoes in my adult life. Read more about it here: Absorbing the Blows.

Myth #2:

I’m not worthy of love.

I didn’t convince myself of this lie on purpose, but it has resonated in my mind for my entire life and resulted in a number of unhealthy relationships, beginning as early as I can remember. Eventually, I unwittingly flipped the script. Read my reflections: Becoming the Abuser.

Myth #3:

If I want people to like me, I have to do things I’m uncomfortable doing.

Tell a person all you want that real friends wouldn’t make her do things that contradict her values; if her self-esteem is in the toilet, she won’t be able to hear you. My need for approval nearly broke me, and I didn’t know it until much, much later.

Myth #4:

I have no willpower or self-control.

Spoiler alert: it’s actually not about those things at all. If there is a void that needs to be filled, some of us are wired to take the short-term pleasure at the expense of our long-term well-being. Read more in Why I Can’t Just Stop.

Myth #5:

I’m fat.

What a loaded term. Spoiler: I believed I was fat long before I actually was, and I did a lot of self-sabotage because of it. It started long before my mother told me I was fat, but that certainly didn’t help.

Myth #6:

I need to be in a relationship to be complete.

Disclaimer: I didn’t actually even address this myth, because along the way I realized how we actually do need relationships to define ourselves. Or at least I do, anyway. Just not in the way I thought when I was younger.

Intermission.

Holy crap am I exhausted. I did not have the slightest idea when I started this that it would take so much out of me. Turns out, digging deep can bury you.

More to come.

So, I’ve taken a break from the sort of deep introspection that got me so tired a few weeks ago. Today, though, I got to thinking about how being an only child affected me and my life & parenting choices. I’d always known I was lonely as a kid. Turns out, it goes deeper than that, and it all connects back to the truths I uncovered when I was examining the Myths.