Can We All Agree Dry Humping Is Sexy AF?

Partnered dry humping should be part of your foreplay game.

A couple of years ago, I dated a guy who I met on a dating app. We talked daily for three weeks before our first date; our working and personal schedules didn't allow us to meet earlier.

I hadn’t been on the app for long, but I had several “conversations” and a few dates that made me rethink my decision of signing in for online dating. But with him it was different.

Besides having an awesome style and being gorgeous, this guy was funny and very sweet. We had a lot in common, so we got along very well.

The day before our first date, I was thrilled; we were finally meeting!

But my excitement went down the drain the evening before when a cold sore burst in my lip. I’ve had it, years before, and now again, on the day I’ve been waiting for weeks!

But my cold sore didn’t ruin the date. He took me out to dinner in a lovely restaurant and then we went for a drink. We talked and laughed for hours.

There was no goodnight kiss, which made us both sorry, but we took the situation with humour.

The following ten days, we saw each other several times. Him, me and my cold sore…

We both decided we wouldn't have sex if we couldn’t kiss, we wanted our first time to be “complete”. But not having sex and being able to kiss didn’t mean we couldn’t fool around!

Dry humping is sexy

During the time my cold sore was active, my date and I had lots of fun. Not only while going out, but also intimately. We did dry hump a lot, and it was sexy af.

Dry humping is the act of rubbing your genitals with someone, with your clothes on. It’s medically known as outercourse (source).

Dry humping is particularly arousing for vulva owners, because the rubbing hits our clit, which, as we all know, it’s our most powerful centre of pleasure.

But for penis owners, dry humping it’s also very pleasurable. The friction and the pressure of the shaft and head against a body part feel superb. Or against an object, but today I’m only referring to partnered dry humping.

For me, it’s not the act itself that makes dry humping so sexy, but all of what comes with it.

During dry humping, you’re making out with someone, there’s chemistry between you. The kissing is intense and passionate (if you don’t have a cold sore, of course); the hands might feel each other’s bodies. The arousing escalates and you don’t act on it, sexually, you just keep rubbing and making out.

I wonder why so many people associate dry humping with teenagers. For me, it’s something you should never stop doing, no matter your age.

What you’re wearing impacts the pleasure

If you’re caught by surprise, suddenly you see yourself making out with someone (lucky you!), you have little choice in the clothes you’re wearing. You do the best with what you got.

But often, you know you’re going to find someone with the potential to make out. Dry humping might be on the menu.

In those situations, you can think ahead about what to wear, to make the experience more pleasurable. That’s what I did when I was going out with my date, while we weren’t having sex.

Because dry humping involves (a lot of) rubbing on your genital area, there’s clothing that will make the experience more or less pleasurable. Let’s start with the latter:

Clothing that's not so dry-humping friendly

You can do dry humping in fully dressed or in your underwear. The concept is outercourse: genitals stimulating genitals, over the clothes.

Zippers and belt buckers are not dry-humping friendly, because they might hurt your genitals.

Dry humping friendly clothing

Thin, silky materials are great for dry humping. Not only they are sexy at the touch, as they allow you an easier sliding over your dry humping partner.

More delicate pieces of clothes will make the barrier between the genitals thinner, which can drastically increase sexual tension and pleasure.

Denim, on the other hand, because it’s a harder textile, delivers an intense friction sensation.

For penis owners, loose pieces of clothes work better for the erection, they will have more space to manage it.

Best positions for dry humping

Any position that puts your genitals together will be a sexy and exciting position.

Bear in mind that dry humping doesn’t have to be genital-genital rubbing. I love the sensation of rubbing my vulva on my partner’s thigh. Usually, I do it when we’re naked; him laying on his back and me snuggled with him, on my sides.

You can dry humping in any position. But for the sake of this piece, I’m considering only the ones that bring your dressed genitals together:

Missionary position

The missionary is a great sex position — for inner and outercourse.

One partner being on top of the other, both laying down, will give each one a lot of friction on their genitals. With the advantage of a great physical closeness.

No other sex position will bring you so close and intimate to your partner as the missionary does.

Scissoring

The scissors sex position is one of my favourites (I’ve explained why, in this piece).

In this position, your legs will be intertwined with your partner’s legs, putting your genitals in close contact.

This means that it’s a great position for dry humping, with the advantage that both of you will have lots of control over the pressure you put in the grinding.

Sitting facing each other

This is officially my teenager’s dry humping position, and it was the one that introduced me to orgasms.

My boyfriend would sit on a chair (or on a private outdoor bench) and I’d sit on top of him. We kissed and dry hump for a long time.

I still do it, often. Lots of my sex starts with my partner and I dry humping on the sofa, me on top of him. Then we continue, with clothes flying away.

Cowgirl (and reverse cowgirl)

This is also a great sex position for dry humping. Besides the pleasurable rubbing, it also delivers a sensation of power to the person on top.

Many people love to be on the bottom, seeing their partner leading the pleasure.

I’m a dry-humping advocate. Every adult should enjoy the pleasure of making out fully dressed. It’s sexy, it’s horny and fun.

You can dry hump fully clothed or in your underwear, you can be standing, sitting or laying down.

Dry humping is versatile, safe and fun. If you’re forgetting to add it into your sexual life, give it another chance.

© 2021 Emma London. All Rights Reserved.

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