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40 Weird Things to Say to Complete Strangers to Amuse Yourself

No further explanation required

1. Joe Rogan is in the bath wearing your mother’s panties on his head.
2. Pizza or smartphones? Choose.
3. “Hogan Torah for President” is an anagram of “Heatproof Thong Drainers”.
4. Your mind is an anagram of the Moon.
5. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great time. Humpty Dumpty is made of cheese.
6. Get yourself down to the beach and eat a peach.
7. Frank T Bird is in the room. Nobody move.
8. Dr Michael Burg will see you now because he’s got eyes and they’re not made of pies.
9. Neil Young is having a bath with your dad.
10. Who would win in a fight between Joe Rogan and Darth Vader?
11. Today, I am pleased to announce, I am wearing my favourite knickers.
12. Batshit yoghurt pot, I love you more than socks made of dreams.
13. Dr Michael Burg has prescribed me psilocybin to cure my addiction to reality.
14. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to your octopus.
15. Joe Rogan is in the bath celebrating your birthday and he’s having the time of his life.
16. Pizza or flower arranging? Choose.
17. Dungarees or cheese? Please choose one of these.
18. I just saw your dad prancing down the street in a leotard.
19. Donkey rhubarb sausage balloon.
20. “Hogan Torah, Leotard Wearer” is an anagram of “Delaware Gonorrhea Throat”, but also “Earthward Oregano Loather”.
21. Hoe Rogan Torah.
22. Smillew Rahcuef is a Smiley Rascal.
23. “Anagram Anagram Anagram” is an anagram of “An Amara Agar Ram Gang Man”
24. “Please Stop Making Anagrams” is an anagram of “Ageless Rampant Soapmaking”
25. Joe Rogan is in the bath making anagrams.
26. Your dad drove Joe Rogan to the hospital to get his misinformation surgically removed.
27. Your dad drove a bus full of pus to Disneyland.
28. Your knees are made of cheese created by bees that speak Chinese.
29. Dr Michael Burg surgically removed an owl from your uncle’s mattress.
30. Doctor Funny has a runny nose. Wipe it clean with an owl.
31. Frank T Bird has seen inside your mind and it made him vomit.
32. All the men of the town are on the hill doing synchronised dancing to the Sesame Street theme tune.
33. I’m on fire. I’ll lie down while you piss on me. Make sure you aim for the bit that’s on fire and stay away from my mouth.
34. Take your age, divide it by two, multiply it by three, then feed it to a donkey.
35. Every second, someone in the world laughs and accidentally farts at the same time.
36. Hogan Torah is eating watermelon in the bath and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.
37. Boris Johnson is vacuuming his cat.
38. Ben Shapiro is in the bath with your dog.
39. Donkeys have the right to vote like anyone else.
40. Every time you sneeze, a kitten gets catapulted into space.