REFLECTIONS

4 Ways To Make “Old” Age Work For You In Weight Loss

Sure, it’s harder to lose weight as we age, but it’s not all bad news.

Last Saturday was my birthday. I am 53 years old.

I don’t think that 53 is “old,” exactly. But let’s be honest — it isn’t young. And it’s no secret that weight loss becomes more and more difficult as we age.

This is especially true for women, who, according to the Mayo Clinic, typically gain weight at a rate of 1.5 pounds throughout their 50s.

But it’s not just hormonal changes that are working against us. Many people, regardless of gender, can experience slowed metabolism due to a loss of muscle mass. Older people often also suffer from joint pain (my evidence for this is strictly anecdotal, but can I just say, God, my hips), organically leading to decreased activity.

So… what exactly is the “not all bad news” part of this?

It’s the fact that while my 53-year old body may not move as fast or burn as many calories as my 23-year old body did, my 53-year old mind is kicking ass.

It’s a badass mo-fo, and it’s in my corner.

Here’s how:

I Have Accepted That Weight Loss Will Be Slow, And I Am Patient

Sure, it’s possible to lose weight quickly.

I’ve done it a thousand times.

I’ve done silly (and medically inadvisable if not downright dangerous) things in order to fit into a prom dress or my favourite pair of jeans, or to look good for some kind of reunion, or to prepare for a swimsuit-required vacation.

And guess what? They all work. And by “work,” I mean, sure, I lost weight, and quickly.

But that weight loss never lasted. Of course it didn’t, because I was doing unsustainable things — namely, severely restricted my calories and exercised to an extreme degree. (*Please note: under no circumstances am I advising this.)

Now? I’m taking my sweet, sweet time. I’m giving myself a full year to lose 30 pounds.

That’s a long time, averaging less than a pound a week.

I don’t care if it takes that long, or even longer. I am going slow on purpose. I am building a sustainable lifestyle of sensible eating, regular exercise, and the occasional treat.

I’m taking the time to stretch and strengthen, even though I find it mind-numbingly tedious, because I know it’s essential for protecting my joints and building muscle mass, and will go a long way to ensuring a lifetime of mobility.

I’m not in a rush. I’m not trying to fit into a dress or to impress anyone… except myself.

I Am Compassionate With Myself

When I was 30 years old, I was adjusting to my new marriage (no, that first year is not a honeymoon), grieving the death of my father, trapped in a career that was wrong for me… and at my all-time heaviest weight (which was a good 20 pounds heavier than I am now).

I was miserable, and I was numbing that misery with food and alcohol.

And, of course, the more I ate and drank, the more miserable I became. It was a vicious cycle I barely recognized, let alone understand how to escape.

The more weight I gained, the more I hated myself. I could barely look in the mirror. I thought I was fat and ugly and unlovable.

And the number on the scale, the highest I’d ever seen? It made me cry.

I believed it to be a moral failure. And I was ashamed.

Wow. How I wish I could go back in time and tell my 30-year old self that there is no shame in feeling the entirely human emotion of sadness, or in not quite knowing how to manage feelings and experiences you’ve never had before.

Luckily, I know all of that now. Thank an additional 23 years of life experience, and also Brené Brown, whose extensive work on shame reminds us of what it actually is: the lie we tell ourselves that we are “bad.”

We are not bad (well, most of us aren’t). We are human. We have emotions. We make mistakes.

Now, when I make those mistakes or, you know, just be a human being who feels stuff sometimes, I opt for forgiveness, self-compassion, and forward motion.

And for self-care. By which I mean eating well and exercising regularly (and, okay, maybe a peppermint hot chocolate every now and then).

Guess what? It all works a lot better than being mean to myself.

I Know That The Number On The Scale Is Just A Number

Two days ago, I weighed myself and discovered that I have gained four pounds.

Four pounds. In one week.

Did I cry and curse and throw my scale across the room? That’s what I would have done 10 or 20 or 30 years ago.

But this time? Well, I laughed.

What would have struck me as an absolute tragedy when I was in my 20s or 30s now seems… sort of funny.

Why? Well, first of all, I was just proud of myself for getting on the scale even though I knew I had gained weight (just how much was a bit of a shock).

And also because there are so many more important things to worry about than what the scale says.

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t try to change that number if we want to. Only that that number is not life or death.

It’s just a number, and it’s not important to anyone but you.

I No Longer Believe In “All Or Nothing”

In his book **Atomic Habits, James Clear identifies a major factor in our failure to make positive changes: an all-or-nothing mindset.

People have a tendency to believe that if they slip up just once — miss a gym visit or eat a piece of cake — that we have failed.

We believe that if we can’t be perfect all the time, we may as well not try.

It’s the “go hard or go home” mentality that was the rallying cry of my youth, and it’s a bullshit mindset that leads to burnout and failure.

It’s not that I don’t believe in effort. It’s that I believe in a long game. In marathons, not sprints. And I believe in respecting the limits of my 53-year old body, which sometimes needs to flake out in my armchair with a book for, like, hours.

I’m proud of myself every time I go to the gym, even if I was on the treadmill for only 20 minutes instead of 30, even if I only burned an extra 200 calories instead of the 400 I’d hoped for.

I’m proud of myself every time I say no to a cookie even if I’ve just eaten a burger and fries. I’m proud of myself every time the number on the scale goes down, even if it’s only by 0.1 pounds.

These are all victories. They all add up. They are all better than doing nothing.

They will all add up to real, sustainable change.

Not overnight. But like I said, I’m patient.

Thanks so much for reading, everyone. I’m always happy to hear from all readers about weight loss victories and struggles. I especially invite people in my same age demographic to share what’s worked best for them in this wacky and wonderful stage of our lives.

And please stay tuned for a weigh-in update next Tuesday!

*If you or a loved one are struggling with disordered eating, there is help.

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