4 Ways That Porn Makes You Hard (To Love)
Blue-balled much? It’s from all the porn you watch.
This is not an anti-pornography article. It’s not a religious article. And it’s not satire either. This is an article about truth, openness, knowing where you stand, moderation, and not burying your head in the sand. It’s a call to action for all porn lovers out there.
Pornography is like alcohol. It’s fun from time to time. It’s the spice your life needs every once in a while. It’s there just in case you’ve got nothing better to do than yourself one lonely Saturday night. But just like alcohol, it can turn from fun to undone in the same amount of time it takes you to put your crusty socks in the wash.
Below are the 4 main ways that porn makes you hard to love, difficult to get close to and a pain in the ass. Sometimes literally. Don’t give your life up for a fantasy porn game. Know the potential problems so that you can keep porn as nothing more than isolated entertainment and not your go-to pass time.
1. Addiction
Nobody chooses addiction. Addiction creeps up on you until it’s so close it’s part of you.
You might think you are only doing it in the comfort of your own home, but you’re wrong. Addiction is something that people can see.
It’s something that puts a toll on you that is only invisible to yourself. Whatever you are addicted to, it will change you. You might not be aware of it, but people are able to see your trauma, your pain, your sadness. It’s ingrained into the lines of your face.
You know how you’re able to spot an alcoholic even when they’re not drinking? There’s a heaviness to their demeanor, a void in their eyes.
It’s the same with porn. It will be obvious and it will keep people away. Especially the ones you want to attract.
2. A distorted perception of reality (what sex really is and what bodies really look like)
Porn is not real sex.
Bodies in porn are not real bodies.
Porn is not education, it’s entertainment.
However, young people with limited sexual experience will understand that sex in real life is supposed to be like sex in porn.
And it almost never is. Porn is not real sex just like real life is not Living with the Kardashians.
Big butts, big boobs, big pecs, big penises. Actors who spend their life at the gym and in the plastic surgeon’s office. Bodies made to look like sex machines. And sex made to look like sports. Like a performance.
Do you know why? Because it is a performance. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But just like any other performance, it needs a whole team of professionals, hours of filming, and buckets of lube to make it look right. And that is not something you can (or should) do.
Problem is, although everybody knows it’s just an act, being exposed to a certain kind of stimuli long enough will make you not able to differentiate reality from performance. You will need all your sexual acts to look like someone is putting on a show.
Slapping, spitting, uncomfortable positions, unnatural use of body parts, etc. Do you think that’s fun for anyone in real life? It’s not even fun for the actors who are paid to do it. That’s why they are paid; otherwise, they’d do it for free.
If you want your life to be porn, better go to a casting and see how you really like it.
3. Inability to form or maintain romantic relationships
Lines like ‘everybody watches porn’ will not fly in romantic relationships. Yes, everybody watches porn from time to time, but not everybody is addicted to it.
If you are in a committed relationship, you will eventually lose your partner. You might think porn is not cheating, but getting your jollies from someone on the screen is not something people usually put up with. Because whether real or virtual, it’s a matter of choosing somebody else over your partner and we are hard-wired to want to be the main squeeze in our loved one’s life.
If you’re looking, be aware that nobody wants to be with someone who has a thing for Sasha Grey. Nobody needs that kind of competition in their life. If you’re looking for a meaningful relationship, better take your hand off the mouse (or the anaconda?) and put it on the phone. Go ask someone real out. Sasha will never date you.
4. Dissatisfaction with regular sex.
Regular sex sounds just… regular. Compared to porn sex, it looks like boiled broccoli compared to crispy bacon.
Well let me clue you in on something: if the sex you have is like boiled broccoli, you’re definitely doing it wrong.
But there might also be another explanation: your senses have been warped by so much dopamine release. When you constantly watch (or do) things that release dopamine, it leads to dissatisfaction with everyday life, that cannot compete with the intensity of what you’ve been watching.
This is true about anything, not just porn.
If you keep watching shark attacks, a swim in the ocean that is not followed by the gruesome disemboweling of your body will be a boring waste of time.
However, for the rest of us, who haven’t been binging on toothy videos, it will be an awesome day at the beach that thankfully didn’t end in shark disaster.
See what I mean? Porn hijacks your brain into believing that regular sex is not fun. Soon, regular porn will no longer be fun. You’ll be on a constant search for more and more intense pleasure.
Just like any other drug, porn needs stronger doses to get the same high you initially had from it and you will not be able to keep up with it. Just like you’re not able to keep up with the Kardashians.
I chose to talk about the 4 most prevalent ways in which porn disrupts your life and turns it into chaos. But there are many more: violence and abuse, erectile dysfunction, social isolation, job loss and poor performance at work, engaging in risky behavior, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, depression, and so many others.
The message is clear: pornography is a force that should not be messed with.
Get a life. Go outside. Let the skin on your overused body parts heal. Get a real date. Stop binging on porn if you ever want real sex. Stop living in a fantasy if you want a real life.
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