4 Quick But Powerful Ways to Get Unstuck in Life

You certainly can afford a happy life

There are times I feel stuck, and my mind kind of turn in against itself. These moments are the moments I feel my mind is empty and failing me. Usually, this is followed by a feeling of unproductive spare. You begin to feel a faint disgust at yourself — a silent hatred and resentment of your seeming worthlessness. Why ain’t you doing more? Why am I feeling like I hate this body and whoever is living in it?

I do have moments where I can’t properly articulate what I’m feeling or even why I am feeling this way. However, I can feel it deep within — a sense of dissatisfaction with myself.

I believe that when the following; procrastination and inaction, outweighs the following; indiscipline and action, what follows next is a feeling of self-hatred.

A while ago, I felt not so great and unfriendly towards myself. Part of this could be due to the fact that maybe our soul was programmed not to be useless but rather useful. Sometimes it is more than societal pressure, it’s a spiritual push, nudging us to embrace the enterprise of life.

So how do I handle these moments of self-hate? Not every good thing in life comes easy, however, I have come to understand that the things that actually light up our souls, is not founded in grandiose accomplishments but simply in little things as the following;

Set a mark

Since I started writing, a lot has changed for me. Some may be due to the fact that, possibly, I have climbed a rough mountain to get to this level where I have to begin to desire more out of life

I’m not sure I learned much about life in my 20s, but maybe there are certain phases of life we live through not with the consciousness of learning. But by the design of life that in a nearby future, it can serve as a lesson. Looking back, I was living carelessly, but those periods of carelessness has taught me a great lesson as I head past the 3rd decade of my life, not the least of which is, if you aim for nothing, that is exactly what you will get, nothing.

I’m sure you know that a fool at 30, is not sexy. And there is nothing more uninspiring than a man at 30 who still have no clue what he wants. There is a feeling of a bit of peace and confidence the moment you set for yourself something to aim at. Something to aim at ultimately becomes something to live for. Something to live for, automatically begin to give purpose and direction to our day. So give yourself a mark that you look forward to. This has helped the way I feel about myself. I've developed more respect for myself, just by knowing I am not waking up each day just to waste it.

Set a routine

It’s one thing to read those self-help books but it’s another to actually apply them. Have you heard the phrase; “motivational videos don’t work, unless you do?”

If you must take any self-help advice, then take that one. It will serve you.

Despite how many self-help books and articles I’ve ingested over the years, nothing has served me so well as simply creating a routine.

There is a magical attribute to a routine that I don’t quite understand.

I’m tempted to think that, maybe indeed our brain cannot function maximally when it isn’t oriented or organised.

There is a certain kind of power to do, to create and to carry out tasks effectively that the mind generates, immediately we find a way to create a structure for it to follow.

Recently, to get the best out of my writing career, knowing my own weakness, as someone who is sporadic and indisciplined, I decided to create a writing routine and organise my day around it, rather than choosing to write anytime and at when I feel the urge.

This may be a hobby now, I said to myself, but I want it to be more than that someday. So I’m going to treat it, starting early, like a job. So I created a routine where my mornings are dedicated to work-like activities. I would wake up at 3 am daily, tuck away under my belt my 3 hours daily reading. By 6 pm, I’ll get myself brushed, bathed and have myself a light breakfast, usually just coffee, then get to writing at 9 am till 12 pm.

This simple routine has worked miracles for me. It’s given my day a sense of direction. I've never felt as happy and fulfilled as I do right now. I feel more productive and most importantly, and even funnier, is the fact that, despite doing so much in the morning, I feel like I still have an entire day to do other things when I finish writing at 12 pm. It’s remarkable how something as simple as a routine can do so much for your life.

Digital Detox

I was introduced to the idea of taking a break from the digital world by Nathaniel Drew, an impressively unique YouTuber, who journals his journeys through personal development.

For a long time, I’ve noticed certain things changed about me, which I didn’t find funny. Things like;

• Short Attention Spam– until recently, I could not read a book for 20 minutes without passing out. Talk about listening to a sermon in church without dozing off. My attention spam has massively declined. I click on a 15 minutes video on YouTube, just 2 mins into the video, I am mindlessly scrolling beneath to find a supposedly more interesting one, neglecting the one playing.
• Insomnia– Insomnia has become a global pandemic. If I’m correct I think statistic shows that the rate of insomnia has risen 10%–30% of the population, some even as high as 50%–60%. This is something I too have battled with.
• Social skill– Another area I noticed has taken a dip, is my social interaction skills. Not that I was any good at it, but it's gone from bad to worse. I get bored easily, and every contribution I make is to bring the conversation to end so I can go get myself tucked underneath my blanket, scrolling through my notification searching for a dopamine injector

With close study, most of these can be traced back to being surrounded by too much digital stimulation. I did not really understand enough the extent to which our digital devices has sucked the life out of me until I experimented with digital detox for a month. WhatsApp and YouTube were the only social apps on my phone. WhatsApp was to stay connected with my family. And YouTube for my lectures and studies.

It was like finally going out for fresh air. It literally felt that way. I think I would write a separate article on the experience I had.

Reconnect with life

The previous pointer helped segue nicely into this. Because I don’t think I’d be able to have done this if I hadn’t detoxed digitally.

The thing about us humans, is we have a way of throwing things in front of us that makes us forget life itself. It’s funny. When we are focusing excessively on what we must do, like getting a job, starting a family, wearing ourselves out by thinking about what the next hit article is going to be about, we somehow allow life slips underneath our arms. We miss it.

Often times, feeling stuck does not come from not be able to do what we want to do, or not knowing what to do. From my own experience, I often felt stuck when I failed to take a step back, go out and reconnect with life and feel that fresh air racing through my lungs.

Life is not in making sure we do everything 100%, but rather in the fact that, even though we do just 60%, but that we did it with all our heart and when that task is done, we let it be and focus on the things that truly matter most. Like spending a nice evening in the garden with your family. Or a father spending the evening helping his kids with their assignment. A mother preparing dinner with her daughter as she narrates the story about the boy she is crushing on.

It is these little things, these basic living, that we have forgotten about that truly gives our life that sense of joy and fulfilment.

Conclusion

Life is happening in front of us, not on our screen. And the minute we are able to see that and understand that is the moment everything changes for us.

The feeling of inadequacy, unfulfillment and unhappiness is quickly swept away when we focus on life in front of us.

As a recap, remember that if you're not feeling good about yourself, whether you are feeling unproductive, which by all means, will cause you unhappiness. Or whether you are always feeling exhausted or like you don't seem to get enough time to do the things you really want to do. It usually takes a little bit of the aforementioned tips to start changing the atmosphere around you. so remember to practice the following;

• Set a mark
• Set a routine
• Digital detox
• Reconnect with life

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