4 Things You Can Never Get Back

Wouldn’t it nice if life had a delete key?

The one thing I wish life included was a delete key. As I type an article or story, if I make a mistake, write something off-key, misspell a word, or regret how I’ve written something, all I do is hit the backspace key on my keyboard and delete it. And with a little electronic hocus-pocus, whatever I wrote disappears from the screen. Being able to remove what I’ve written is wonderful because it gives me the opportunity to fix whatever I didn’t like. It’s a guaranteed do-over that never fails.

But there is no delete key for living. It’s unfortunate because I make mistakes. And the longer I live, the bigger the list of things to regret. When thinking of some of my decision, the memories are painful. I wish I’d never done or said certain things, but there is no hocus-pocus that will delete them from my life or memory. They are a part of me.

The things in life that I regret the most are irrevocable. I don’t like them. But they are transformative. Touching an open flame happens once. The resulting burn transforms thinking by bringing awareness of fire danger. Done once, I won’t do it again.

There is no recalling a stone once it’s thrown

Random throwing of rocks can injure someone or break things. Acting without thinking is as harmful as throwing rocks at people around you. Even if you don’t intend to hurt someone, it can happen.

When I was in elementary school, I walked home each day with a few friends from my neighborhood. To get to our houses, we cut through a field that had a warehouse on it. One day I spotted an owl sitting on one corner of the building. So I picked up a rock and threw it. I wasn’t intent on hitting the bird. But as we watched, the rock arched toward the owl, hitting it on the head and killing it. Even though I was trying to scare the bird so we could watch it fly, once the stone left my hand, there was no bringing it back.

Offending someone is inevitable. So whether you have thrown a rock or said something that has hurt another person, be humble and apologize. Use the experience to become a better person. It helps heal the other person, and it softens the impact on your memory.

Words can’t be unsaid

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is a popular children’s rhyme. But it isn’t true. Think about what you’ve said to someone you love that haunts your memories. “What’s wrong with you?”, “Are you stupid?”, or “I hate you!” are words that tear people down. Using similar words on yourself can also harm you. “Why can’t I do anything right?”, “I’m stupid!”, “I’m a failure!” are words that damage your self worth.

Unlike throwing a rock that takes some effort, words launch without thinking. Mean spirited, angry, hateful words have destroyed marriages and wrecked friendships. Harsh, hateful, demeaning words spoken to children have harmed some so deep they stay with them into adulthood. For children, harsh words spoken by a parent can define them for a lifetime.

Try taking a breath before speaking. If you are angry, step away from the confrontation. Rephrase what your emotions are screaming at you. Change the dialogue from “Are you stupid?” to “I want to understand why you threw the rock at the owl.” Then listen to the “why”. If you are dealing with a child, use your response as an instructional opportunity. If you are arguing with a spouse, use your words to express how you feel. It will strengthen your relationship. When talking to an employee, you may learn to do things better.

Once an opportunity passes, it’s too late

You never know when an opportunity will come. And when it presents itself, act on it. Wayne Dyer wrote, “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

Most people think an opportunity is financial. But there are other opportunities that you don’t want to miss. If you are single, you may meet your genuine love. There may be a new career opportunity doing something you’ve always wanted to do. You may find a hobby that becomes a passion and then a business.

The key to opportunities is recognizing them when they appear and then acting on them. The thought of moving to a different location is scary. Developing a relationship with someone new is intimidating. Launching a business that has been a dream is daunting. If you allow your emotions to make your decisions, they will paralyze you. Taking action will set you free to follow your passion.

You live once. And life is fleeting. As Wayne Dyer says, “The future is not guaranteed.” So don’t sweat the anxiety caused by fearing the unknown and do it. At the end of your time, do you want to look back at your life and wonder what could have been? Or will you look back and say, “it was a wild ride. I had lots of trials and made some huge mistakes. But I loved it and wish I could do it again?”

Time is relentless. Once it’s passed, it will never come back

When you are 10 years old, 80 is unbelievably old. You can’t imagine ever being that age. And when you are 80 years old, 10 seems like yesterday. The one constant in life is time. Second-by-second, year-by-year, you spend your life. Spend it wisely.

There are 3 things to embrace in enjoying a full life: family, friends, and life itself. Commit to spending valuable time with your family and friends, and take every opportunity to have a full and productive life. Watch where you throw stones. If you have a choice between a harsh word or a kind one, be kind. If you make a mistake, be quick to apologize. If you see an opportunity, seize it.