4 Things I Desperately Want Every Man to Try at Least Once in His Lifetime
These were life-changing for me and can be for you as well
Men are getting weaker with every generation, both physically and mentally.
Our average testosterone levels are dipping. Sperm counts are sinking. The average joe’s physical strength is declining. Mental immaturity has never been higher than in the modern day. Self-control has become a joke. And the worst part?
Surveys show that we ourselves think we aren’t masculine enough. With desk jobs, social hyper-connectivity, rampant calorie-dense junk food, and one-click access to the wildest of porn, this isn’t all that surprising.
But even in this world of comfort and instant gratification, there are ways to reclaim power and become more “masculine” — not in the roaringly impaling enemies or downing barrels of wine ways of medieval times.
I mean — fit, able to pursue whatever you want, independent, self-respecting, and possessing ample self-control. Irrespective of his age, race, height, or circumstances, every man can develop these qualities.
“Every human being has within him an ideal man, just as every piece of marble contains a statue as beautiful as the one that Praxiteles the Greek made of the god Apollo.”
— Jose Marti
I want to share 4 such paradigm-shifting ways with you — these must-try things can trigger metamorphic improvements within you.
At Least 15 Days of NoFap
Evolutionarily, every single thing a man does is driven by the deep-seated desire to find a viable mate. Yes, the world revolves around sex.
Back in the hunter-gatherer or even medieval times, this was great and things like hunting skills and battle valor determined attraction. Whatever it was, it used to take work.
But now? With the rampant brain poison called porn, just a few clicks lying on the couch yield the same dopamine release — and with “perfect” bodies and categories catering to every fetish, why would you seek real-life romantic partners?
Did I mention how porn also makes you severely objectify and sexualize women?
This is sadly the reason for the epidemic of incels and simps. Even from the non-sexual angle, the constant dopamine release from masturbation saps your drive to do things.
This is what makes NoFap — the abstinence from porn and masturbation so damn powerful. It wasn’t the science, but rather the too-good-to-be-true anecdotes that made me try it.
One week in, and I was seething with energy and focus. No indecision. A constant urge to do things. And no matter how much I did, I still had more energy to spare. Another week in and my confidence was sky-high — as cheesy as it might sound, I honestly felt, “No woman’s out of my league”.
I felt more attractive, could pick up signs of attraction better. Could not just make but burn eye contact with women. Went out on dates, made bold moves.
I ended up finishing a 58-day streak and it was unreal — achieved my best ever online writing month, had an unforgettable fling with a gorgeous girl, had many insecurities blasted away, and incorporated invaluable new habits.
With a second 29-day streak yielding similar results, my conviction in its power considerably went up — and now, I’m always either on a NoFap streak or trying to get back into one.
The best part is you don’t even need to go on such long streaks. As thousands of us have noticed, most of the benefits are in the first two weeks itself — the energy, focus, confidence, and courage. The 10th day’s my tipping point.
The TL;DR is — NoFap unlocks God mode. Period.
Complete at least a 15-day streak. You will thank me later.
Cold Approaching a Woman
With snatches of lingering eye contact and a hammering heart, I strutted around the gym trying to make up my mind. Finally, an atom bomb of excitement and nervousness, I walked up to her.
And voila! Not only did I get her number but also a happy yes for a date. That tiny incident burst open an internal gate forever.
When you can cold approach an attractive stranger, you can pursue literally anything else in your life.
What’s pitching to a prominent publisher, cold emailing your idol, or asking to be a columnist for a top publication compared to cold approaching an attractive woman?
Nothing. And that little cold approach gave me the courage to do all of the above.
The best part is that this becomes easier with NoFap. I doubt I’d have been able to do it had it not been my 22nd day. It’s a nice synergy — NoFap makes cold approaching easier and a successful approach motivates you to continue your streak.
Even with a drumming heart, perspiring face, and the chance of rejection looming large, just try a cold approach.
What it will potentially unlock is magnitudes larger than the actual approach.
At Least a Month of Cold Showers
There isn’t a mood bad enough, thought negative enough, or energy low enough that a cold shower can’t fix for me.
Cold showers are torture but of the good kind. As Stoicism calls it, it’s voluntary hardship — enabling you to hone your self-control, forego instant gratification, and be more appreciative of the things and people you have.
And this also goes hand-in-hand with NoFap — it’s so much easier to avoid relapsing if cold showers are in the mix. It can kill even the most uncontrollable of urges.
Apart from the mental benefits, there’s a host of proven benefits — alertness, a boost in energy, improved mood, better recovery, stronger immunity, higher fertility, etc.
If you can willingly torture yourself with sub 17-degree Celsius water every single day, there aren’t many things you won’t be able to do.
Lifting Weights
I saved the best for last. This has contributed the most to my metamorphosis from a wimpy, and painfully shy teenager to a confident young adult. Socrates once famously said,
“It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
It is a shame — and contrary to what most think, the physique and strength aren’t even the main benefits.
The main one is the unbelievably empowering effect of witnessing years of effort manifest. And this bleeds into every other aspect of life.
It makes you fall in love with holistic self-improvement and plants an insatiable hunger to improve everything — your skills, knowledge, relationships, social status, finances, etc.
Working out is cathartic — a way to fuel all your negative energy into building something positive. The repressed feelings from years of bullying transmuted into a maniacal drive. There’s a reason working out has changed so many lives.
Just like sex, you won’t know what it’s like until you try it — neither I nor the friends I pulled into weight training did before we started.
Final Thoughts
Come to think about it, NoFap is the center stone — the other 3 follow or jive well with it. When you go on NoFap, you undertake the hardest version of the core of self-improvement which is:
Prioritizing long-term satisfaction over short-term gratification.
When you cut off the fantasy-triggered dopamine releases, you are forced to level up in reality. You start liking the hard but rewarding things — seeking quality real-life relationships, quitting bad habits, and adopting good ones.
It’s gaming — but now, the game is life itself.
